Pregnant and so worried

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Found out I’m pregnant this week, very much wanted and very much planned baby (our trying over my fertile period was absolute textbook!) but I’m so nervous and I just wasn’t expecting these feelings.

I only took a test because I’d had a stressful day at work and wanted lots of wine, period hadn’t come that day (I’m like clockwork) so thought best to check. I cried with shock when I saw the positive.

I think it’s partly that this is cycle 1 of trying and it just feels like complete fluke, so something is bound to go wrong in my head. I know all the science and I’ve spent a lot of time on these boards, I was fully geared up for a good few months of disappointment, and ‘up to a year is normal’ etc etc, that a positive first go has just floored me. I know I should feel excited and grateful but I’m just convinced there’s no way it can stick, that would be too easy and that’s not life. I feel so out of control, if something goes wrong in there there’s nothing I can do, and I know how common and normal early losses are. I’m already starting to obsess about every symptom and I can’t carry on like this for the whole pregnancy, and waiting for something to go wrong will do me no good.

I know I’m being ridiculous and what will be will be, I just thought I’d be so happy, what is this ridiculous thing my brain’s doing to me!?
I’ve always been a strange combination of very logical and practical, and very anxious, and this seems to be the perfect storm of the two 😂

Can anyone relate or offer any wisdom?

DC is one now but I had the same experience. We consciously decided to try for a baby but when the test was positive after the first cycle we were both in completely stunned silence! It wasn’t happiness just shock! It soon sunk in though, give it a week or so! I think you always have the feeling that something might go wrong and you will worry throughout the pregnancy I’m afraid (not to mention afterwards!)

I think that’s very normal; I conceived in the second month with DD and the first month with the baby I’m currently pregnant with (23 weeks now) and how quickly it happened terrified me into thinking it was too good to be true. I even asked my GP about it and was reassured that there was nothing to worry about.
It does feel better after 12 weeks but in the mean time I would just remind yourself that there is no reason to think it won’t be ok and take it one day at a time.

Happened to me too with DS1 and the pregnancy was text book. It turned into a shit storm after than mind trying to conceive DS2 but I was OLD.

Ebjoy your pregnancy OP. Congratulations xx

Hi @BuffaloCauliflower you sound exactly like me, down to the fact that I only tested because I wanted a massive glass of Chardonnay. While this won’t help the odds are in your favour that everything is alright. I found this site very helpful as it will give you the ever increasing probability that everything is fine as the days go on datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer.php. Also I went for an early private scan last night at 6 + 2. Everything was fine and saw a heartbeat so I feel much better!

Good luck and congratulations.

We conceived the very first time we did it. It was a complete shock and the happiness part didn’t sink in for quite a while.

In the nicest way, you need to chill woman. The best thing for the baby right now is for you to be relaxed and taking your vitamins and eating some veggies. Please just try and relax and enjoy this bit, and congrats

Exactly the same here! First cycle, took a million pregnancy tests to keep confirming up until about 6 weeks.
I'm currently 9+1 and all is okay so far, had a scan at 8+1 and had a happy healthy baby in there!

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. I KNOW it’s nuts to worry too much but there’s no way to know what’s going on in there! I probably will go for an early scan, I think that would help. I just want it to be ok and my brain’s on overdrive.

Need to call the doctor next week - am I right in thinking I go straight to a midwife rather than the doctor?

I had to self refer to the midwife but my doctors surgery still wanted me to come in and see the doctor so they could register my pregnancy there too

I’d give your GP a call and ask what their process is because it seems to be different from area to area

Thank you I will. I don’t know If doctor’s and midwives will make me more or less nervous! I’m definitely just in shock

I was the same! And I thought life has never been this kind to me before so why would it be now? But so far so good who's to say though that if you hadn't tried that month, and waited until next month, it wouldn't have taken 6 months? Maybe that was just a good month! That was my logic. Try and relax - easier said than done

I just called up and booked straight in with midwife, no point in seeing dr unless they make you. Congratulations!!!!

I was exactly the same as you! I'd been on the pill for 13 years and then came off a few months before our wedding whilst being careful and then conceived in the first cycle after the wedding. I literally felt it was too good to be true and how can we be so lucky etc. Booked myself in for an early scan at 9 weeks so I had something to look ahead to. I worried every time I went to the loo or had any pains but I think it's quite normal from hearing everyone else's stories in our group on here! Join one of the threads for the month you're due, they're so great for advice and people will be going through the same feelings as you x

@LH1987 did you have to have a transvaginal scan at 6+2? I'm thinking of going for an early scan.

@sep30 pretty much the same! Baby will be due 9 months and 4 days after our wedding 😂 no time to waste clearly. I just don’t want to get too excited and leave myself open for upset, but realistically I’ll be upset if something goes wrong whatever

@BuffaloCauliflower we started half heartedly trying this cycle, only BD three times. FRER this morning and what do you know, BFP! I can't completely relate. I'm even scared to take another test!

@toomuchteaandcake it’s such a shock isn’t it! Positives are rarely wrong though. Maybe do another one tomorrow? (I did two straight away and another one the next day...(

Feeling physically fine today, apart from some breast soreness, so back to worrying is it bad I kind of wish I was feeling sick and awful so I’d know something definitely was going on in there?

I was an absolute mess throughout my pregnancy, certain something was going to go wrong. It took us a little longer to conceive but not as long as I expected being older, and I just couldn't believe my first pregnancy stuck - almost every woman I know who's had a baby had a miscarriage first. But it worked out, he's now 8 months old!

I don't say enjoy it because you won't. Just get through it. I had an early scan at 8 weeks and that did make free l me feel a bit better, because the odds were good.

Thank you. I’m tempted to have a scan at 6-7 weeks, though I know there’s still a risk after that I hate the thought of getting to a 12 week scan and finding out it’s a MMC.

Can truly relate to this - we had planned the pregnancy - could not believe the test was positive first month of trying - just stood and looked at each other in utter shock!!!! You will be fine once it's sunk in - enjoy your pregnancy - Congratulations.

Just to say, I miscarried at 5+3, my anxiety was justified. I know it’s very normal, we’ll try again.

I know exactly how you feel, although it took me and DH 1 year to get pregnant! I found out when I was 3 weeks and 4 days so very early and I was a complete mess with worry about something going wrong! I even convinced myself it was ectopic. My whole life was on hold as I just obsessed about what could go wrong.

I am only 7+1 now so still really early but we had a scan at 6+1 and saw the heartbeat which was amazing! My hormone levels have been tested and are exactly where they should be and I am now suffering from bad morning sickness and all the pregnancy symptoms which really reassure me.

We can't control what happens and I know how hard it is not to worry but I've found as time goes on and I see/feel things progressing my worries are going down

I'm sending you all the luck in the world!

I got pregnant cycle one and have been feeling the same. Feel very lucky but also a real shock and very nervous of every twinge or lack of symptoms! Had severe cramping and went to a and e but seems to have eased off now but had a scan and was too small to see the heartbeat yet so have a scan Thursday.

Just read through messages above. So sorry to hear you miscarried. 😔

Thanks @peetieswie