To not want to leave the house

[wondering7777]

I’m 13 weeks pregnant and apart from work, which I have to go to (obviously!) I really feel like I don’t want to leave the house at all.

I have lovely friends and they keep asking to meet up, but I just feel so tired and nauseous that it suddenly seems like a huge effort. I’d much rather stay in bed with a cuppa or slouch on the sofa in front of the telly!

Does anyone else feel like this or do I need (in Mumsnet parlance) to ”give my head a wobble”? I know I can’t realistically hide away for another 27 weeks but I hate the nauseous feeling - it’s so draining!

I definitely felt like that. With any luck your nausea will subside in the next few weeks.
I think it's really important to maintain your friendships though, or you can end up feeling really isolated.
Do they know you're pregnant? Could you invite them round to slob on the couch with you? Or go and slob on one of their couches for a change of scenery?
If not, maintain contact via phone so when you do want to see them again it's not too hard to pick up where you left off.

Thanks Table - you’re so right, I do need to make the effort. Otherwise I’ll end up with no friends at all at this rate!

I agree with inviting them round to yours if you dont really feel upto going out but I get where your coming from aswell. Apart from taking my kids to school and picking them up I'm in the house majority of the time I'm too drained to do much more and then if I have a day where I'm out and about everywhere I pay for it the following day by feeling horrid all day.. Joy's of pregnancy! X

I slightly disagree with having to meet it up friends. It's the last thing I'd want to do if I felt awful. If they are true friends that will understand you're not well and will still be there for you when you're out of it. So long as you keep up messaging them etc it should be fine! So no you're not unreasonable to rest. Do what your body is telling you to!

Yup! And I’m on week 14 of being signed off work (had awful HG - now just about managing it with a VERY strict routine- but if I break routine even slightly 🤢🤮)

I’m also starting counselling as have been so isolated for so long it’s impacted my MH significantly (never suffered with it before).

Its really hard now as people see me functioning better and they’re like ‘oh you’re better’ and I’m like ... yeah, as long as I eat exactly what I fancy as soon as I’m hungry and don’t eat ANYTHING after 4pm (even if I’m starving) and take all my meds on time ... they yeah I’m great!
🙈 I randomly fancied a jacket potato the other day and didn’t have any in...took me less than 30 mins to be in bed with my bucket! Feels like being taken hostage by my baby!

Know exactly what you mean. When I was around 8/9 weeks, we'd already arranged to go and see DFIL and partner and all I wanted to do was to be at home. We couldn't rearrange as they live around 4 hours drive away and we wouldn't have seen them again for months, I felt absolutely awful and just wanted my own house

I'm 15 weeks and have only been out in the evening a few times. In fact I didn't leave the house for 5 weeks before I got my sickness under control! A Friday evening out a few weeks ago ruined a whole Saturday for me as I'm more nauseous when I'm tired. Now I pick and choose what I do and my friends understand. I'm looking forward to having more energy as everyone says you do in the second trimester

It's the last thing I'd want to do if I felt awful.

Thanks... full disclosure though, I don’t feel awful - it’s just tiredness and almost constant mild nausea. I’m nothing like @DisneyMadeMeDoIt ( to you by the way!) but it’s reassuring to know that others feel the same about going out as I do.

I also worry that I’ll need to throw up while out and about or at someone else’s house, which would be hugely embarrassing.

I felt absolutely awful and just wanted my own house

I think that’s similar for me - it’s the reassurance of knowing you can just crawl up to bed and rest when you’re in your own home, whereas when you’re at someone else’s or out and about you can’t do that!

No. You should feel better soon. I was a hermit for about 16 weeks. Then I was fine. My friends understood i explained to them

Thanks *Luxembourg". I've got a dinner party at a friend's house tonight and then we're taking a three hour round trip to see friends on Sunday. I just want to stay in bed!

Feel for you! I definitely felt like that too (constant nausea and tiredness) in the first trimester, although if I was forced out every now and then I did feel a bit better - I think just because of the distraction (from the nausea).
It will mostly likely get better around 4 months (at least it did for me) even if it seems like there's no end in sight now!
I remember I couldn't even imagine brushing my teeth without gagging at the time...

I’m a HG sufferer & it’s only now, at 19 weeks that I’ve met up with friends this week since week 6 😯 my actual vomiting is well controlled on various meds but the nausea hasn’t been at all. I honestly just couldn’t face leaving the house. Partly like you, the fear of throwing up in public but also just feeling really pants.

Around 17 weeks, I had a sudden drop in nausea & while it is still ever present, it’s now at a bearable level where I don’t expect to throw up & I can eat OK. This week (before I caught a shocker of a cold that’s house bound me again), I forced myself out to meet friends for a couple hours & it was really nice 😊

Don’t worry, keep in touch via WhatsApp or calls or whatever is your thing & your good mates will be there when you feel a bit brighter!

It’s not a competition OP (sorry I didn’t mean to jump in with my ‘I’ve been so unwell’ story)

Just I get what you mean, I prefer my own home- I don’t think it’s uncommon at varying stages of sickness! Certainly don’t feel bad for pulling back and being a bit ‘anti social’ 😂 this is a weird time for your body- let it do its thing

Thanks everyone - I expected to get a load of replies saying pull yourself together, so I’m feeling a bit less pathetic now!

I was hoping I’d feel back to normal by 13 weeks - I’m definitely better but nowhere near 100%. Still - hopefully I’ll get there before too long!

The reason I said to maintain contact with your friends is because I stayed in the house until I felt better, which took 5 months, and then I realised I was really, really lonely. My friends have been lovely and supportive since I got back in touch, but I think, looking back, I might not have got so low in the first place if I hadn't let myself get so isolated. I didn't mean to imply that anyone should feel bad for taking it easy, sorry if it came across like that.

I'm just really hoping this second trimester amazing feeling kicks in soon. I'm so sick of feeling rough!

Good luck! I felt like it was more around the 16-20 week mark for me (as opposed to 13 onwards when the first trimester is over) that the nausea subsided slowly... I don't think I really noticed, it was so gradual.