Don't know when to tell him

[HL123]

Only non-judgemental replies please.
I'm 5 weeks pregnant, I'm not in a relationship with the father and the pregnancy wasn't planned, however I'm continuing with it and the baby will be very loved by me.
I'm really terrified of the fathers reaction, I know he doesn't want children, and although I know him well and he's always been nice to me I'm worried a nasty side will come out when I tell him this news.
Part of me feels it's fairer on him to tell him sooner rather than later, however I also feel that, if he gives me the reaction I'm very much expecting, I will find it too much to handle right now.
I certainly won't be leaving it until months down the line, I'm just not sure whether I ought to tell him ASAP or in a few weeks time.. if anyone has any suggestions or have had/have had friends with a similar experience, please let me know

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

It's very early days. I would suggest waiting a few weeks, getting your head around the pregnancy and your own feelings. Then you can begin to think about how to tell him. You don't have to rush this.

Congratulations!
Could you imagine waiting until the 12 week mark?

Congrats!

Yep definitely wait a while if you're not too sure, I also think 12 weeks (or after the first scan) might be a good time to tell him.
He would definitely have time to get used to the news before the baby is born, and you sound like you would be fine if he wasn't too involved either.

I'd also consider when you want to be telling other people / mutual friends as you'd want to tell him first (I think that would be fair).

Give yourself a little longer to get used to it but don't leave it too long - not fair to him and will hang over you. Good luck!

Until your baby is out of your body decisions like this are 💯 about what’s best for you.
If you can’t emotionally handle telling him/ his response yet then don’t!

I wouldn’t suggest waiting way down the line but certainly don’t rush or feel pressured out of ‘obligation’ take some time to brace yourself before you deal with him x

Tell him somewhere you feel safe. In a coffee shop or over the phone. Try to mentally prepare yourself for the worst reaction, or changing reactions, or for him to disappear.
You should also be prepared for unexpected, both positive and negative, reactions from friends, families, and coworkers.
As your pregnancy was unplanned and you're not in a relationship a lot of people will find it socially acceptable to ask you why you haven't terminated the pregnancy, and to try to push you into doing so.
I was in a similar situation due to a contraceptive failure. At first he told me he would support whatever choice I made. Then when I told him I was continuing the pregnancy he told me I was ruining his life, and that I should give our child up for adoption. His latest thing is that he wants a dna test, which is insulting and unneeded. I give him medical updates and he says 'if' the baby is his he won't legally acknowledge our child, but will Skype, occasionally visit, and throw us small amounts of money when he feels like it. And that's progress.

Thankyou all for the helpful replies, and it's lovely to be congratulated as not sure I'll hear that from many people I know!

I actually think you should tell him sooner rather than later. I know you will find it difficult but I think you should just be honest and get it done. Tell him somewhere public though to manage his reaction if you’re worried or ask a mutual friend to also be there.
It will give him time to get his head round it and think it through. He’s unlikely to want to be involved but he still deserves to make that choice himself, if he does have a change of heart he might want to be at the 12 week scan.
If he’s horrible and nasty afterwards you don’t have to engage or communicate with him.
Be clear about your genuine expectations of him from the start. Try to think about what they will be, now, when the baby is born, in the future. I understand it was unplanned, but presuming you’ve not planned this either it’s as much his responsibility as it is yours.

Thank you for all the advice.
I told him last week (via text as he wouldn't take my call - think he guessed something 'serious' was up) and initially he didn't believe me and said I'm 'game playing', then asked how he can be sure he's the Dad, then went back to not believing me before blocking me.
He unlocked me tonight to ask 'what's the latest', before getting me to confirm I'm keeping the baby, then asking if I'm just going to give up my job and everything.. and then telling me to never speak to him again. And I'm now blocked again.
So it went pretty much as badly as I expected. I am an understanding person and appreciate it's a huge shock for him, as it was me, but would it kill him to ask how I'm doing or speak rationally about things.. it's as if he genuinely doesn't realise this is half his responsibility.
This hasn't in any way made me question keeping the pregnancy but I feel so sad and hurt.

Sounds like you're much better off without. Don't answer any more of his questions until he can speak to you face to face and rationally

I am also in a similar situation. I slept with someone and got pregnant. I found out yesterday and have an early scan tomorrow. Midwife at early assessment unit said I was between 6-7 weeks.
A bit of background to the man - He ended things after a couple of weeks of dating as he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. That was fine and I left it as it was and deleted his number. I didn't think anything of it really.
I now have to think about how I tell him! I was planning on writing a letter (as have his home address but don't have his number anymore) and was just going to tell him it's happened and that he can be as involved as he wants to be. I don't expect anything and don't want anything from him (although I did really like him and was gutted when he decided not to start anything proper with me)...
Any advice? Thanks all. Xxx