Missed Miscarriage at 12 weeks - now nearly on 16 weeks...expectant management

[JesusisLord1]

Dear beloved,

Please can you give me advice? I was told at 12 weeks that there is no HB, and our baby measured 11 weeks 4 days. I wanted to wait it out, first trusting for a miracle, now I have peace, but I still want to stay in God's hand and timing.

It has been 3.5 weeks since the news, and even though I had some spotting and mild cramping, nothing is happening. It is very trying on the family, my husband is a vet and is concerned for my reproduction and health. He would like to get a D&C so that everyone can move on, and I am waiting for it to happen naturally at home.
I don't even know what to ask on this forum. Advice I suppose. Some one to tell me hang in it is nearly over. Someone to tell me hang on everything will be okay. I am just not sure how much longer it can take?

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
x

Firstly, I’m sorry for your loss. Secondly, I agree with your DH and I actually think it can be dangerous to leave the POC in there for too long as it can cause infection.

I had two missed miscarriages two years ago so I completely understand your pain but the ERPC was the best option. It’s swift with minimal blood loss afterwards and no pain. You’re asleep throughout the whole thing too so don’t have to experience any gore. I have also had a spontaneous miscarriage at 5 weeks and that was far, far worse than the surgery.

Please have the ERPC, you need the closure .

Please please demand another scan first.

I was 6 weeks and told I'd miscarries and offered medical management (it was my fourth pregnancy, all the previous 3 I had miscarried). I refused as wanted to have faith.

2 weeks later after no bleeding I asked for another scan and there was my little wriggler with a heartbeat.

I'm not saying it'll be the same for you but please get it checked. I very nearly lost a healthy baby due to being told the wrong information.

I would get another scan to confirm that baby has gone then go for the medical management so that you can move on. A natural mc can happen at any time and is very painful. I had one at 12 weeks and the pain was like early labour.

Dear all,

Thank you so much for sharing what is on your heart and for responding to my message, I sincerely appreciate it.

We went for two follow up scans (after 1 week and after 3 weeks)- still no HB. My midwife actually said when I phoned her (for the first time) after 3 weeks of hearing the news, that is sounds like twins, and that the baby on the sonar was the one that passed away, and that maybe there was another one hidden and alive in the womb. She based this on the fact that I spotted for a week (but not even enough blood in total to fill one pad) and that my uterus kept growing.
So the third scan was on Monday with a different dr for a second opinion, but still no HB, and unfortunately no second baby. The very weird thing however (actually 2 things) are:

1. The amniotic sac around my baby keeps growing, en therefore my tummy as well. It also did not start to deteriorate at all and according to the Dr they had no explanation as to why I did bleed;
2. My body truly believes I am still pregnant; and
3. Instead of our baby becoming smaller in size, it stayed the exact same size.

It is as if everything is just going on as per normal, everything except my baby is no longer growing.

I am grateful for the past (nearly) 4 weeks, as is strengthened my faith and deepend my love for the Lord. I felt all along I cannot take control out of God's hands, by making my own decisions. This am whilst running, I felt the Lord said that nothing that I do can take control out of His hands. Whether I decide to go for the D&C or not, does not change the fact that He remains in control.

I got home and told my husband (with a very heavy heart) to phone the dr and ask about next steps. I figured if God remains in control (regardless of my actions), then I have to think of the next level, and that is my hubby and 2 x beautiful 3 and 1 yr old children - who could be emotionally involved (should anything happens during day time).

Luckily for me our Dr is at a congress and only return on Monday. I still do not feel comfortable about going to the hospital, but I feel it is the right thing for anyone else.

I wish we could continue talking about this forever, as I do not feel it is the end of the chapter, but thank you in anyway for reading all the way to this point.

Take care x