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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did you go by yourself to NCT?

39 replies

LighteningRidge · 22/10/2019 12:16

My classes are due to start this weekend and I just reminded DP and told him that it is for 3 hours. He no longer wants to go (assumed it was about an hour). Do I need to go with someone else? I don't want to make him because he'll just be a dick about it and so I would rather go by myself, but is this the done thing? The course material mentions about a birthing partner for single women. So I'm not sure what to do.

OP posts:

Original poster

LighteningRidge · 22/10/2019 18:47

I'm ok going alone, I just want to know one way or the other. I'm desperate to make some "mum to be" friends as mine are either already mum's to babies so don't have time or on a complete different path without children. It has made me feel heaps better that people have gone by themselves. I'm really looking forward to it.

OP posts:

GrumpyHoonMain · 22/10/2019 18:51

At my NCT classes everyone came in pairs. My DH didn’t want to go either initially, though he wasn’t a dick about it like yours, but after that first session he really got on with the other blokes and kept going. He’s even suggesting going to other NCT classes now

Blueuggboots · 22/10/2019 19:11

Yes, I went to probably 80% of the classes alone because my cockwomble fucking tosser "DH" (now exH) has already had a child so apparently knew it all and had no interest in meeting other expectant parents.
Unfortunately, the rest of the pregnancy and subsequent baby period didn't change his lack of interest and we split up when my DS was 2.5. He doesn't see him.....

Blueuggboots · 22/10/2019 19:13

On a positive note, I wouldn't have made it through the first year without my NCT friends.

Original poster

LighteningRidge · 22/10/2019 19:18

I understand @blueuggboots this is his third and he knows it all too. I'm dreading the "we did it this way" type comments which no doubt will come out. I hope there are lots of lovely people there. I need to know what snacks to bring yet...any ideas?

OP posts:

foodname · 22/10/2019 19:19

What a horrible man you're having a child with.

Of course it'll be fine to go on your own, I'm sure they'll all be lovely, but bare in mind it'll most likely be couples (certainly in my experience), we met up afterwards as couples, but that is just my experience.

SnuggyBuggy · 22/10/2019 19:22

I'd go, it sounds like you'll need other support with a dickhead like him. I went to one class alone (DH working away) and it was fine.

IScreamForIceCreams · 22/10/2019 19:24

We did NHS classes, my DH came even though he'd rather take out his eyeballs with a rusty fork. I joined NCT after my baby was born and for me, was a lifesaver meeting other mums. I just rocked up at a NCT Newcomers coffee morning on my own and was lucky to meet mums, who are still friends, 9 years on. My DH not once joined any NCT event, and it was fine. If you're lucky to find a nice supportive NCT group, nobody will care if your DH takes part or not.

Ithoughtyouwere · 22/10/2019 19:30

My DH has social anxiety but really made the effort to come to all but one of the long course classes (the one he missed he was working late). However he downright refused to go to the last all day weekend class and I was dreading having to make an excuse for him, but in the end my daughter came 3 weeks early and we missed it anyway 😂.

Yes there’s massage etc and activities where we split into women & partners but tbh it didn’t really matter. All the other men bonded together well but dh didn’t as they weren’t his kind of friends. I still see the mums now and dh did come to a birthday party with everyone.

I don’t know if it helps your situation but that’s how it worked for us. I recommend contact the teacher though as ours was lovely.

Original poster

LighteningRidge · 22/10/2019 19:42

Thanks all. I have contacted the teacher and will wait to hear and have my sister on standby (we'll have a giggle no doubt!).

I'm just annoyed at him atm. He isn't all bad honestly. I just don't think he realises the toll it takes being pregnant. When he had his first two his ex was around 20/21. I'm nearly 32 and feel about 100. Until I got signed off I was commuting over 3 hours a day working long shifts. I'm now stuck at home being essentially a housewife which is getting me really down. Hopefully I'll make some nice new friends.

OP posts:

foodname · 22/10/2019 19:47

@LighteningRidge it's just a huge shame because it's about you not him, it doesn't matter what his previous experiences are, he should be there to support you even if he thinks he won't personally get anything out of it. I just think it's a bit of a red flag (sorry MN bingo) for him to be so ignorant of your wishes and needs. It's a small "price" for him to pay considering all you are going through and about to go through. It's bigger than an NCT class is what I'm trying to say. I really would try and talk to him and wouldn't dismiss it as a small thing if he really won't budge.

Original poster

LighteningRidge · 22/10/2019 19:54

I really appreciate all the support you are all giving me. I feel absolutely overwhelmed. I will try and discuss with him at some point when we're both in better moods.

OP posts:

foodname · 22/10/2019 19:58

Good luck OP, whatever happens I really enjoyed NCT classes as a first time mum and found them hugely useful. It just makes you feel like you're doing something to prepare at a time when you feel so out of control!

girlanonymous · 22/10/2019 20:29

Yes. I went alone with my first due to breaking up with my son's dad early in the pregnancy. I attended every class apart from the last one.

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