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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Am I wrong with feeling irritated by boyfriends mum whilst pregnant?

4 replies

ara912 · 21/10/2019 10:58

Hi, this is my first time posting in here! I just want to think if people reckon I'm being a bit of a crank basically. I'm pregnant with my first baby it's all very new and scary for me, it came to a massive shock when I found out as I didn't think I could have children but I am so excited and so are my family and boyfriend and his family. I've seen to be getting really irritated by my boyfriends mum but like I am now at a point were I don't want to see her. I'm 22 weeks pregnant I feel like all she's done is stress me out, obviously a lot of people around me are offering to buy me stuff which is a good help including herself. But since the start even like my first midwife appointment my boyfriend was all excited telling her about what the midwife had said and she was just kinda like "I know I could of told you that" (one of them I know it all) to my boyfriend did say to her well next time should we just come to you? and she shut up. She offered to buy the pram when we first found out and started telling people and I agreed (I wish I never) i fell in love with a pram which I talked with my own mum about and I told my boyfriends mum that me and my boyfriend like this particular pram at the minute but we are still looking and she made a very snotty comment to me about it to which I ignored because I got upset. I left it a few weeks and hadn't spoken about it and my boyfriend went round to have tea at her house and she had said to him whilst I wasn't there that she didn't like the pram and I can't leave the baby in it for longer than 2 hours? my boyfriend said to her I don't know where you've got that from that we will leave a child in it for 2 hours and she also said certain prams are bad for the babies back so you can't leave them in them for more than 2 hours (where she got the idea from that we were doing this I don't have a clue)I felt like she was trying to change my boyfriends mind on the pram so we would get one that she likes that was similar to her apparent amazing that she had when her children were babies. So I've got upset again I've argued with my boyfriend over her a lot and I feel like I'm moaning to the wrong person but I've explained to him that I can fall out with her if I wanted but I'm trying so hard to be nice but it's getting me down. She also has told us we have to go to her house a certain day for tea each week (I don't even do this with my own family) so I'm having to organise for me to go different places each week because I don't want to sit in a room with her and be told what to get and what not to get for our baby and for her to think that when the baby is here that's HER day to see the little one. She also messaged me with a photo of a Moses basket and before I could even say what I thought about it she had bought it for us when my own mum wanted to buy me that. A lot of other people are feeling left out like they can't get anything. She's been trying to tell me how to have the nursery, I just don't know how much longer I can take with it all and I'm so scared that when our little baby is here she's going to try and tell me what I should do and shouldn't do when I want all this to come naturally and to do my own thing. She tells everyone she gives us our own space and she doesn't since we moved out she rings my boyfriend nearly everyday aswell. She wanted to be centre of attention at the gender reveal also. I'm not being dramatic am I for feeling upset about all this?

OP posts:
Jollymollyx · 21/10/2019 14:23

I think hormones definitely play a part in making you feel like this. I get like this with my mil. She does sound like she’s an excited grandparent which is nice too. Maybe say to her I’ve made a list of all the products I want after researching so she knows going forward. Or maybe involve her to say do you want to come to buy this with me. I don’t think it’s bad she calls her son every day, that’s her son before your boyfriend. It’s nice they have a close bond. I completely get it’s annoying for you if you are annoyed with her though

Boymummy3 · 21/10/2019 14:38

I think its probally a bit on both parts... you will be very hormonal so things that usually wouldnt bother you will mo irritate the s* out of you lol I'm the same I'm getting so annoyed with the littlest of things that in hindsight dont really matter! Joy's of pregnancy...

Is this her first grandchild? Or at least her sons first child its probally why She's being the way she is, I dont think she means any harm at all and maybe sitting down with her or your bf sitting down with her and saying thank you for helping us out but can you maybe back off a little bit (not in those words as such) where the moses basket is concerned it is a pain but I I dont think shes trying to take over probally just very excited and hasn't thought about it properly.
Before it all comes to a blow you do need sit down and speak with her and try not to argue with bf about it as a much as he probally agrees with you it is his mum and it will end up causing tension that doesnt need to be created xxx

GrumpyHoonMain · 21/10/2019 14:52

She’s probably thinking from a value for money perspective. Only very few prams have carrycots that allow overnight sleeping (the carrycot has to be ventilated and have a specific type of mattress). So if you’re going to spend £££ on a pram you should get one that allows you to use it for overnights. If you have an overnight carrycot you don’t need to waste money on a moses basket.

Honestly I agree with a pp in that it’s just hormones at the moment (I am 34 weeks and had a massive strop at DH yesterday as he was buying second hand things for the baby!). You need to unpin what your MIL is saying from your own feelings - she seems really excited and all it would take is for you to spend time with her to clarify what you want and don’t want her to do.

Twooter · 21/10/2019 15:06

She’s right to tell you about the pram. There’s no way you’ll want to disturb your baby if it falls asleep in the pram, so it’s very likely to be in it for longer than 2 hours.

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