37w and suddenly overwhelmed

[devilishlygood]

This seems so absolutely ridiculous, but I am suddenly, today, fraught with terror about giving birth! I could actually laugh if I wasn’t so close to tears.

I have had a heavy emotional pregnancy. A lot of drama. Stepchildren losing the plot, close family members dying (two of them), work troubles, SPD and sciatica, and husband working away. I’m exhausted and finally hung up my clogs at work today to start maternity leave.

I’m suddenly overwhelmed by a pending sense of doom, it’s come out of nowhere. I’ve been very calm and relaxed in the face of things about the delivery, hoping for a straight forward water birth with gas and air, home by tea-time...but had NCT classes so fully expecting all possibilities.

Baby is transverse lie at the moment. I will be 38w on tues, have MW appt on Thursday. I’ve got severe pelvic pain so can’t get out and about much (worsened in the last few days), I can’t go too far from the loo as I seem to have anxious poos despite constipation for weeks. My skin is itchy. I can’t stop crying. I don’t feel ready, and yet I want it out now.

I’m just panicking and I’m not used to it. Any suggestions for calming myself down? 😳😳😳

Listen to some mp3s of positive affirmations which are used generally in hypnobirthing as they do really help. I was v v skeptical about it all but even in a few weeks, it can help you think differently about the potential pain (it's a different sort of pain, and every contraction you have is one less you need to go through). Its also not too late to read The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. The BEST bit of advice it gave me was a reminder that a contraction is not a constant experience. You go through them regularly, yes, but when you're not, you can drink and eat and chat and move and laugh and wee and bounce and anything you want to do. They are finite and worth it and reframing them in your head can do wonders. Also, DO Not watch any shite like one born every minute. It's not real life, its a telly programme made to look like real life and it's not truly representative of birth.

I recommend the positive birth company online videos, they have helped me so much!

Going on Mat Leave for the first time is a really strange experience IMO. I had worked/studied all my adult life and having nowhere to be everyday felt really strange. Also not being able to get out and about can be really isolating. Your body and mind are going through a lot and are about to experience something you can't really prepare for. So be kind to yourself. Also a fair few people say that loose bowls and feeling emotionally overwhelmed can be a sign of early labour or that it is all about to start, so it might all happen sooner than you think.

Also second what PP said about positive birth affirmations. I had ones from Sophie Fletcher's Mindful Hypnobirthing book.

I second the recommendation for the Positive Birth Company online hypnotherapy course. I gave birth last week and labour was 4.5 hours from start to finish, no pain relief - absolutely one of the most magical and empowering experiences of my life. I was so confident and positive after watching the videos that I was really excited about labour.

Maternity leave is a weird feeling, especially the first time. Personally I felt quite panicky and odd and wished I had stayed at work longer (thankfully I didn't - baby arrived on my first day of leave!) so I do think it's normal. It's also the first time when your 'job' is to have this baby, so your thoughts naturally turn to the birth and anxiety can creep in.

Try not to let it overwhelm you, and try to see the positives - time to rest, relax, watch Netflix etc... you'll soon get into the swing of things.

The way you are feeling is totally normal. If you haven't already it's time to start reading up so you have s good idea of what to expect but don't get hung up on how you want things, as they can change very quickly.

I’ve just finished work and now waiting. This is my first. I’m frightened too and if I get a twinge or pain I think please not now, I can’t do it!
Sounds like you’ve had a stressful time and have just fought through it. Now you have time to really think and it’s perfectly normal emotions you’re experiencing.

Take time out for yourself, listen to podcasts, meditation, netflix or a relaxing bath with a book

Bless you. Mat leave starting is quite odd and as PPs said, it’s normal to feel a bit unsettled when you stop routine of work etc and all you have to focus on is waiting for baby.
Lots of good suggestions upthread :)

(Have you had the itchy skin checked? It could be unrelated to the way you’re feeling and may need looking at)

I completely sympathise. My first pregnancy was really easy and healthy meaning I enjoyed my mat leave and finished up as planned.

However I'm currently 32 weeks, have been signed off work for weeks with severe SPD and still suffer morning sickness made worse by being tired and sore! I'm feeling completely sorry for myself, it's a much harder experience.

All I can say is to rest as much as you can, read some books/watch tv to distract yourself. If you're like me you'll be mostly in the house and limited to moving due to pain so that's just to distract you.

Tell your MW everything, including the itchy skin. I don't want to worry you but that can be serious in pregnancy.

Just keep telling yourself it'll all be worth it!