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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out if boy or girl ...

15 replies

Woodlandwitch · 17/10/2019 17:39

DH wants to leave it a surprise as we did with baby #1.

I’d love to find out this time.

Is is possible for me to find out and for it to still be a surprise to DH?

OP posts:

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LarryPO · 17/10/2019 17:47

You can do a sneak peak gender test or go for a gender scan?

Keha · 17/10/2019 18:57

I'm sure he could pop out of the room before the sonographer tells you... But would you be able to keep it a secret??

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 17/10/2019 19:01

Yes you can request that only you finds out :) either he leaves the room or they write it down and put it in an envelope for you x

Bol87 · 17/10/2019 20:13

Sure. Pay for a private gender scan & go by yourself! The NHS generally won’t faff around with the gender. They’ll tell you but they won’t put it in an envelope or anything..

MockingJay27 · 18/10/2019 10:28

The NHS have happily written it down and put in an envelope for lots of friends of mine. I would just take the paper and envelope yourself as they may not have 1 to hand.

Boymummy3 · 18/10/2019 13:25

Only problem with that is... you will end up letting it slip to him anyway before baby is born. Probally not on purpose but by accident so I would suggest either you both find out or none of you do.. if he wants a surprise and you end up letting it slip it isnt really that fair on him plus another note are you just going to buy neutral colours for clothing etc or are you going to want to buy boy/girl items as that would also end up tricky to keep from him. Of course if you are both happy for just you to find out then yes you could speak with your sonographer and say he doesn't want to know and would it be possible for them to tell just you at the end of the scan or go private and go on your own xx

Kinsters · 18/10/2019 13:28

I think it'll be really hard for you to keep it a secret!

Seen as you didn't find out last time I think you have the stronger argument for getting what you want (plus you're the one whose pregnant)!

Lou2120 · 18/10/2019 14:22

They wrote it down and put it in an envelope for me no hassle at all!

Hall84 · 18/10/2019 15:02

We've done this. My husband knows but I wanted a surprise. We did pay for a private scan and the sonographer was happy to go with our request. I obviously had to be in the room but just make it clear before your scan. So far so good with the slips ups but we've only known for 6 weeks :-) good luck!

477964z · 18/10/2019 16:20

NHS refused to write it down and said they could only tell me verbally there and then, so it depends on your hospital. But he could leave the room while they tell you!

Original poster

Woodlandwitch · 18/10/2019 22:55

To those that did find out before hand did it help with bonding before the arrival?

I suffered a bit with PND and not too sure of knowing and being about to bond before in a more specific way might have helped or not

OP posts:

leomama81 · 18/10/2019 23:04

I am about to have my baby but I definitely think having found out has helped me bond so far. It was largely why I wanted to - as soon as I knew he was then my little baby boy with a name that I could envision in a way I couldn't before I knew.

477964z · 18/10/2019 23:14

I’ve loved knowing and definitely feel I’ve bonded more for knowing the sex. I can imagine him, I talk to him about how he’s my gorgeous baby boy and it just kinda feels like I’m closer to him than if I still saw him as a generic baby if that makes sense. Plus I have a name for him which everyone uses, which makes it feel like he’s more real and helps me to really imagine him when he’s outside of me.

I can’t fathom the idea of not finding out personally, I’d absolutely hate not knowing and not being able to prepare myself mentally for having a son or a daughter, I wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy the pregnancy as much as I’d be wondering constantly whether he was male or female!

l12d04 · 19/10/2019 00:41

@Woodlandwitch it definitely helped me bond. I'm not the overly maternal type so the baby was just something I was growing. When I found out she was a little girl, it made it all so much more real. I felt almost instantly a bond. And I didn't mind either way girl or boy, I was just happy to find out!

kelly14 · 19/10/2019 02:00

I found out with my daughter ( 14) didn't find out last year with little boy ( 18
Months) and didn't find out with daughter who was born 2 days ago, however my husband did know the sex of the baby we just had.

Having experienced both finding out and not I can honestly say for me finding out the sex at the birth is just magical, and was definitely the option for me.

Husband after not finding out last year with little boy decided he did want to know this time around and so we had a private scan at 16 weeks and after the reassurance part I left the room and he stayed in where they made the room either pink or blue.

We didn't talk about baby names, although I had a girls name ready as had strong feeling a girl and we didn't discuss baby much in general just incase he slipped up lol but he didn't once and he didn't tell any once else what we were having either despite some pressure from others.

It worked for us and we both for what we wanted for our 3rd and final baby x

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