Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

WWYD? Starting trying now or wait?

13 replies

ErrolFinn · 15/10/2019 11:17

So some background on us:
My DH and I are in our late 20s, good jobs and savings. We have been considering TTC over the last year and have enough savings in place to cover mat leave/going part time after maternity leave.

We have recently sold our house and bought a new one closer to my PIL and good schools etc.
However, there is a lot of work I would like to do to the house, mainly renovating the current dinning room and converting it to a dinning/kitchen with new french windows/utility room/WC etc. However this involves a lot of structural work and the quotes we have had back mean we would pretty much use all our savings doing the work we would like.

My DH thinks we should just forget the house renovations for the next couple of years and start TTC instead and revisit the renovations in a few years.
I am not sure and think adding the kitchen would be an investment. Though I do realise it would mean delaying TTC for at least two years which isn't ideal.

Basically I would just like some advice. What would you do if you were in our situation?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/10/2019 11:22

It wont be easier to renovate when you have a child - childcare costs or a reduced income, not to mention the mess and hassle. Id prob do the house stuff now- age is still on your side to wait a few years,

Robs20 · 15/10/2019 11:25

I would do the house stuff now and ttc in 6 months. Saying this as someone in the process of buying a house that needs renovating and just found out I’m pregnant with twins. Not ideal at all! We will have to move out when the work is being done.

peachgreen · 15/10/2019 11:31

House now. Once you have a baby all your money is eaten up until they start school so you'll not get the chance to save.

PowerslidePanda · 15/10/2019 12:07

I agree with the others - get the house stuff done first, it's much harder to do once you've got kids. This is particularly the case where it will affect the value of your house or how easy it will be to sell in future - we bought a house pre-kids and intended to stay for 10 years, but like Robs20, my pregnancy was also unexpectedly twins(!) and we're having to move somewhere bigger sooner than we planned!

snowflakeeel · 15/10/2019 12:09

Ultimately you must do what you feel is best suited for you/partner and what you feel you are capable of. Safe me would say do the house first but real me, the one who felt my biological clock ticking....this is what really happened....We bought our first property and partly renovated, wanted to TTC at age 29, had a child, I returned to work PT, continued to renovate, completed then sold on and moved (we did as much of the work ourselves).
New property, working PT, child number two, partly renovated, child three, career break, will complete renovations approx 2021.

I guess it depends on what savings you have and whether you will be able to cope with one income or return full/part time or afford child care or have family help. So many factors which will be personal to each one of us. You will spend more money with the first child but once you have that outlay you already have it for the next one should you wish to go down that route. We were comfortable accepting hand me downs and purchasing second hand which kept costs low. Also, be aware, there is so much 'stuff' you don't need that companies make us feel like we should have.

For us, I would say it wasn't the money that was the issue, because we were careful, it was the lack of time once the baby arrived. Because we undertook renovations ourselves we did find that particular rooms were building sites for a little longer than anticipated until we felt able to face completing. It's whether you would feel comfortable with that side as well.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 15/10/2019 12:11

You really don’t want to be doing structural work with children around.

Fookadook · 15/10/2019 12:23

Do the house, renovating with a child is a pain and you probably won’t do it.

user1573334 · 15/10/2019 14:04

I see posts like this with people who are late 30's and I urge then to crack on. But I think time is almost certainly on your side here to wait if you have no family history of fertility problems. I'd do the renovations first.

albus55 · 15/10/2019 15:21

You can renovate a house at any age, you can't have a baby at any age.

For what it's worth, we've been renovating (including structural work, knocking walls down etc) since June with a one year old and I'm now 16 weeks pregnant - It's all doable!

Alyssum34456 · 15/10/2019 15:41

We were similar then realised the number of people who have fertility problems. There is always something to do. We started ttc and the house isn't ready but we genuinely couldn't be happier. House can come later whereas fertility has a big limit which a few of my friends are sadly realising now.

MummyBear405 · 15/10/2019 16:08

IMO there's always going to be a reason not to try for a baby, now it's the house and then when that's done you might want a big holiday and then something else and then something else.

Me and DH are the same age as you by the sounds of things, we bought our house in 2017, got married last year and were planning to go to Oz to visit my Dad this year but then we fell pregnant and I'm not at all upset about having to postpone the holiday or sorting the garden or all the things we had planned because we can do all that when she's here.

Yes it'll be tricker but not impossible. I just didn't want to risk having a difficult pregnancy and then regret not trying sooner! That's just my opinion but I think you need to weigh up which is most important to you right now, house renovation or baby?

janey15 · 15/10/2019 17:28

There really isn't an answer to your question I'm afraid as no one can predict the future!
From my experience- and therefore probably irrelevant to you- I would say don't leave it too long to start Ttc.
We started trying when I was 29. I'm now 34 and have only just reached 14 weeks pregnant. We've also renovated two properties in that time so I know how hard it is.
Maybe set a time limit? Ttc in 6 months or a year? You'll probably get lucky really quickly but just wanted to share our story for a different perspective x

StarryEyed88 · 15/10/2019 17:42

If you want to TTC, then I’d go for it. If you are on the pill or other contraception, it can take a few months for your periods to return to normal, and it might take you a year to get pregnant, meaning a baby wouldn’t arrive for nearly 2 years. In the meantime you could renovate/top up savings? On the other hand, you could be lucky and get pregnant the first month. Then could you prioritise some stuff and leave some until later?

Flip