Is this it?

[tryingtryinggone]

Long time lurker, first time poster as I could really do with the advise, support, wisdom (and a hand hold).
Confirmed I was pregnant last week with a strong positive on a FRER and multiple cheapies when I was already a week late for AF.
Have been stupidly obsessive since with tests and they have progressively got lighter. I did a digital clearblue this morning which said not pregnant. I should now be around 6 weeks.
This has felt way more devastating than I thought it possibly could even though I know it’s quite common for this to happen. I guess I need to face the fact it’s over before it ever really began?

What am I supposed to do now? I’ve had no pain, no bleeding, no cramps and still have stupidly sore boobs still and don’t really know what the next step is? Am I just supposed to wait for something to happen?
Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hi OP.

I had a very similar experience at the beginning of the year. I was an obsessive tester. Initially lines got darker and after a week I was satisfied so stopped. A week later I did a digital hoping for a 2-3 and it said not pregnant. I dipped a FRER in the same cup and it was barely a line. The next day it was negative on any test I did. Called EPU and they said can’t do anything and that it was a miscarriage- even though I had no pain and no bleeding or anything. Very unhelpful at the time, especially as a first pregnancy. Unfortunately a few days later the bleeding began. Like a very heavy period.

Biggest advice is please take time to process it. A loss is a loss no matter how far you are and your emotions around it are valid. Completely valid. I didn’t grieve as I believed it was only 6 weeks and never really was, and regret it and it’s made my current pregnancy much harder mentally.

Sending you love OP

Hi OP. The same happened to me at around 6weeks in my previous pregnancy. I tested, and tested, and tested- watching the numbers go higher (digital)- they stuck at 2-3 weeks then went down. I made an appointment at the gp (same day- I explained what was happening with the tests) and was referred to the epu for a scan the next day. The scan didn't show much, so had bloods taken over the next few days, the levels sadly reflected a miscarriage. I grieved for the pregnancy that was lost, and in time moved on. Took a little while, but everyone goes through this on their own way. If you haven't started to bleed I'd give the gp a ring, as this will usually happen if it's a miscarriage. Saying that, I've also had a missed miscarriage in the past where I had to have a d&c before the bleed came- so worth getting yourself checked over. My thoughts are with you hun, it can be tough xx

@Keyboard91 - sorry for your loss too hun, and that you had to go through that with your first pregnancy xx

@JenDaw @Keyboard91 thank you both. I actually started bleeding on Thursday night which as awful as it felt emotionally and physically I’m glad nature took it’s course instead of needing medical management or surgery. I’m also almost grateful that i’d taken the clearblue test as I feel like it would have felt even worse to have started bleeding when I thought everything was okay so I was at least a little bit prepared.

I’ve done so much reading about miscarriages so I know all about the statistics but I still feel scared that there’s something wrong with me and that I won’t be able to have a healthy pregnancy. I really hope I’m wrong.

@tryingtryinggone Aww hun, I'm so sorry. It's a truly horrible thing to go through, but I know what you mean about feeling at least a little prepared rather than a massive shock. I've experienced both and feel I was able to come to terms quicker when I was expecting it. I went on to have an amazing little boy straight after my mmc (at 11 weeks) he's nearly 3... and I fell pregnant again straight after my second mc in July- so am pretty much 10 weeks now. It's still early days but am trying to think positively. It obviously doesn't always happen that way, but it can. So try not to let it stress you about conceiving in the future hun, as difficult as it may be whilst it's still all raw. Was this your first pregnancy? xx