Giving birth anxiety - options

[LighteningRidge]

I had my 32 weeks appointment with my consultant today (placenta previa) and it has sufficiently moved so I can now have a vaginal birth, only I had come to accept I would have a c-section and I was at peace with this. I now don't know what to do. My choices are elective, natural or induction at 39 weeks. I think I will go with induction at 39 weeks but I was so set on a c-section I can't work out my feelings or what I want. They all seem to have their own anxiety inducing issues. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

Can you elaborate on what your issues are with each option?

Yes sorry:

C-section: higher risk of baby having breathing issues, longer recovery rate.

Natural: pregnancy going on for too long (this is a concern for me), ending up induced anyway, emergency c-section possible.

39 week induction: painful, lengthy (have to stay in hospital - could take 5 days?) But safest option.

Ah, ok. Valid points, and I can't address all of them, but I kind of have experience of all 3, so I'll tell you about it in case it's any help...

I went into labour naturally at 40+8. My contractions started off just 6 minutes apart, but that was still the case 48 hours later! I was exhausted (contractions were too strong to sleep through) and tearful and ended up begging labour line to admit me to the ante-natal ward for some pain relief. As I was only 3 cm dialated, all they would give me was pethidine (took the edge off, but not massively effective).

Whilst on the ante-natal ward, my contractions finally became more frequent and I got to 4 cm dialated, so they let me have an epidural. However, I remained at 4 cm dialated for the next 12 hours! During that time, they pumped me full of induction drugs to get things progressing and it was completely ineffective. But having had the epidural, I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable. I caught up on sleep, I read magazines - it was far better than the latent stage of labour!

In the end, they decided that DD wasn't going to come on her own and so did an emergency c-section. I've had a lot of surgeries in my life an the c-section was one of the more major ones, yet it was surprisingly one of the easiest to recover from. I didn't have much pain, was moving normally within a couple of days and comfortably walking into town (a reasonable distance) and back after a couple more. I'm now 33 weeks into my second pregnancy and have opted for an elective c-section this time.

So I suppose what I'm saying is that from my own experience...

C-section: not necessarily a longer recovery rate

Natural: not necessarily less lengthy

39 week induction: not necessarily more painful

I have to say I had an emergency section at 42 weeks with baby number 1 and an elective at 39 weeks with number 2. Neither had breathing problems and my recovery/healing process what really good. I am booked to have a third section in jan. Can’t vouch for natural or induction. Narrowly missed induction with baby number 1as I went into labour on the day of the induction! Would have had water birth had she not had pooped and heart rate dropped. X

Thank you for your experiences. This is mainly what I'm concerned about was going over (sounds silly but I won't cope!) and it all going tits up and ending in an emergency in any event. I can't explain why I think that'll happen to me but I do.

Induction at 39 weeks now seems like it could still go the same way too if the baby doesn't want to come out and the drugs don't work to establish labour. The only good thing, which is also a negative, is a stay in hospital. Once induced I can't leave.

The elective still feels like the best option for me by being calm, entering the hospital and leaving a couple of days later without having gone through the trauma of everything going wrong. I may sound melodramatic but I can't explain why I feel like this. I just do. The consultant just scared me a bit about having one.

I wish you both all the best with the arrivals of your little ones.

Can I suggest you have a look at the 'Why it matters' book range?
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/bookseries/B00YTDI3EO/ref=dp_st_1780665407?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
The caesarean one is really good for presenting the facts and I imagine the other relevant ones are too - they may help you work out exactly what it is about each scenario that worries you and help you to decide.

Good luck OP!

I had an elective last week & recovery was better than I expected. I was out of bed 6 hours after surgery (yes was sore & needed help), discharged after 3 nights by which time much more mobile. I’ve been resting at home and can’t walk long distances yet but that could be the same with a bad tear. So ELCS is not necessarily too bad recover wise. Think EMCS would be worse.

Why induction at 39 weeks op?

Hey op, I was booked for a c section due to baby being breach and on the large size. I just got my head around it then would you believe it baby moved into the right position! Which meant my c section was cancelled and I was given an induction date instead.

I understand how you're feeling, I was so anxious about what giving birth would be like and the plan changing threw me completely.

I was induced last Wednesday morning and our baby arrived on Friday and he's absolutely perfect.

My advice to you would be to try not to control the situation and just go with what your body and the professionals say.

Good luck 🍀

If you can avoid c section I definitely would. It's not a small operation and recovery will be long.
personally I'd go B. And take an epidural.

I’m not sure where the evidence for an induction at 39 weeks being safer than a c section can be found. During my latest pregnancy the consensus between the consultants and anaesthetists was that the risk was very similar. I had a c section, fairly ok recovery and baby didn’t have breathing issues.

Thank you all. I look at the book to help me. I have 4 weeks to decide.

The reason I don't want to go over 40 weeks I can't really explain because it is borne from an irrational fear but I can't shake it all the same.

I don't know about evidence for 39 weeks. I'm purely going on what my consultant suggested to me and it seemed as though this may be the lesser of the evils but as I haven't been pregnant before I don't know.

My DP wants me to give birth naturally and he has had the third hand experience of both (vaginal & c-section) before but I just don't feel like it is his choice, only mine which I also feel guilty about.

I was induced.. If I could go back in time I'd opt for elective.
I was in labour 48hours(after naturally contracting a week) ended up with emcs.
I was anxious about birth... So badly that I got cbt but it didn't really help.
If you genuinely would prefer elective csection do speak to your midwife.

I went down the natural route. I went into labour at 41 weeks - had a slow labour for 3 days but then everything was easy once baby was here.
I was discharged within 6 hours.

If you do go over 40 weeks it doesn't necessarily mean ECS. You can still have a vaginal birth.

Are you low risk? Is this your first baby?

Unless there's medical need they will not induce at 39 weeks (in the U.K.) they will monitor you and induce only at 42 weeks or if medically indicated. Natural is so much better for you and baby

I understand the appeal of a c-section from a "control" perspective - originally, I actually requested an elective section for that reason. The consultant was willing to sign off on it on the basis of maternal choice, but pointed out that if I wanted several children (which I did), the risks associated with both pregnancy and birth increase with each c-section you've had. That was definitely a factor for me, which is why I ultimately decided to try a vaginal birth first of all.

At 40+ weeks OP, you aren’t ‘over’... a healthy full term. arrival is anywhere between 37-42 so that’s a fear you shouldn’t have.
I was a fast and natural labour, and would always be my option. If you take a natural labour you can add in addition drugs/methods/elextice if needed but with the others you can’t take away. Once it’s started... there’s no going back.
You will cope much better than you think you will, I did!

Just to put it out there not all inductions take long. Once my waters were broken at 3cm (had pessary but no painful contractions) I went to 10cm and gave birth in just over 2 hours.

This will be an unpopular opinion perhaps but my suggestion is instead of living with this fear (which just sounds so aweful and crippling by the way,) you choose to face it voluntarily, unwrap it fully and get to the psychological root of what this is really about because you might find it's rooted in something that isn't actually connected to the birth at all.. even though you're 110% convinced it is now, I know...

What if understanding this fear became totally fascinating to you and amazing! What if it mean't it opened doors that you didn't even know existed and were pleasantly shocked to discover were there! What if you found something inside yourself that you didn't even know existed. There is absolutely no reason you should go on a journey of discovery around this alone.

We all have "something" that we fear deeply and it's absolutely natural that this comes out and manifests in our birth journey.

The way you've described your partners position might also hold a clue. Read the following and quietly see what comes up.

Being or feeling trapped,
Being a slave in my own body,
Having no control,
Floating in limbo,
Feeling stuck.
No way out,
Unable to take control,
Unable to know and unable to find out,
Unable to see or be seen,
Denied my own ability to manage my need for autonomy,
Having no coping strategies,
No ability to change anything so that the situation serves me, ever.
No end in sight.

(I might be totally off base here but those are universally understandable and horrific fears! and common. You might be able to write your own list.)

I think I'm low risk now. I was high risk due to partial placenta previa and an anomaly with the baby. I have been signed off (if correct term) for both now and things could progress by themselves. I'm very lucky my consultant will see me again to help with the anxiety I feel surrounding birth.

Maybe it would be a good idea to try and find the root cause of the fear. I think it comes from being someone who likes to have control of a situation, I like to plan, I don't enjoy surprises, I'm scared of the unknown. I feel worried that I'm going to fail. I see all these amazing women having babies and being absolute stars and I just worry I won't compare. My partner tells me a lot about when his were young and already I feel I'll do an inferior job to him and the ex.

My pregnancy has not been the easiest and I just want to ensure I get my baby into the world safely.

OP I had an elective at 39 weeks with my youngest. I had the risks of breathing difficulties etc explained to me but I had no choice regardless a natural birth again would've been very dangerous for me and baby.

The CS was lovely and calm, DD was born and was absolutely fine, we had skin to skin in theatre the whole time I was being stitched. The CS itself felt weird, no pain but lots of rummaging sensations and it was a bit uncomfy at some points with pressure but nothing awful. I even had (another) haemorrhage during surgery and the team were so on it that I didn't even realise until they told me afterwards. Another stuck placenta too, again, no problem they just dealt with it and stitched me up nicely!

Recovery was a walk in the park compared to my traumatic (3 day ending in forceps) induction with my older child. Yes it was sore for the first few days (morphine helped loads!) but I was walking that night when DD was born at lunchtime (slowly!) and home after two nights, and up and about looking after a newborn and toddler (with lots of help from DH). I took prescription painkillers for about ten days then I was fine. Not driving was a pain, but I did fell I could have after about 3 weeks, just didn't because insurance company were very woolly about when it was ok so waited the six weeks.

Good luck!

Thank you @mytinyfiredancers that's really helpful to hear. I think I'm going towards elective again. Luckily I have midwife before I see the consultant and can fully discuss with her. She is so open I really have received amazing care. The driving shouldn't be too much issue for me as it's nearing winter and Xmas and I doubt I'll want to be going anywhere far from home for those weeks.