Pregnant with baby 3 help!

[Cheeseandpickle1]

Morning mummies,
I’m in a sticky situation, I have a 3yrold and a 1yrold and just found out that I’m pregnant! I’m nervous to say the least and I feel uneasy.
My husband is training for a new career in Greece so I’m mostly at home with the kids on my own, so near enough like a single mother when he isn’t home.

I understand it’s going to be really hard and I know it gets easier, eventually but I don’t know if I can go ahead with this although I can’t help but feel guilty even thinking of a termination. I have 2 boys and I’ve always wanted a girl, what if this is a girl! I just don’t know what to do.

My 15yrold step daughter lives with us and she is such a sweetheart she helps with the children if ever I need a little break (shower, or make dinner etc) but now she is going into her important years of school and studying I obviously wouldn’t even want to rely on her help too much as this is not at all her problem.
I must mention I do have my parents who live close, they do help me with my boys already but the 1yrold is pretty hectic and hands on so I know they find it tough so I don’t lean on them too much.

My husband is being very supportive and said I need to do whatever my gut tells me to do as he knows termination can lead to emotional strain for myself. He has told me that we would find a way to manage but we totally aren’t ready. He feels as if our other children would have to go without certain things. They have a great set up right now and I’m worried it will effect them. We had plans that they would go to a local private school but now it would be a big struggle adding another child to that lifestyle, please I already know I’m going to get the “money isn’t everything” I know this but the schooling and eduction is extremely important to us. Ah I’m in such a predicament.
I’m sorry in advance if this has upset or offended anyone, I just need a bit of advice.

I had the exact same thing about the daughter thing
I had two boys then aborted my third
I’m was devastated and still am to the day
What if it was a girl ? What if I could have done it? Yet financially and practically it wasn’t the best time
Follow your heart because I followed everyone else’s advise and now I am sadly still mentally scarred from it but some people don’t always have the regret I did
However , you need to do what’s best for you and your family
And if nows not the right time then maybe the future
I still to this day think what if it was my chance of a daughter not to say I wouldn’t have been happy if I carried on and it was a boy
It’s just something I’ve longed for
When I went I thought the lady they had to talk to would’ve been a lot better and seen my heart wasn’t 100% in it but sadly she just heard the words financially and was like ok that’s best
I really think it’s best to sit and talk to someone and work it all out
Do what’s best for you

Thank you for your honesty and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Like you I am worried about others reaction Infact it’s more so the in-laws I worry about.

Nevertheless I myself worry that I would t be able to cope with 3 so young. Or would my oldest go without mummy’s attention. I have my toddler in my head so much because he is literally like my best friend he is so funny and sweet and I worry that going through with this would only impact him negatively. I don’t want to be constantly tired or not having the energy to play with him!
I really need to think this through.

Not the same because mine was planned but I'm pregnant with my third. My two boys are two and four and even though it was planned I am incredibly nervous about how we are going to manage. My four year old is great but my two year old is incredibly hard work and I do struggle to cope with him at times. Im generally a positive person though and figure it will all have to work out somehow.

Did you ever want more than two? I always did, but if you were intending on stopping at two then you do need to think carefully about how you'll feel with three.

The sex thing is a bit of a red herring surely? I'm not bothered about having a girl but if you do go ahead with the baby and it's a boy, it's not as if you won't love it is it? Plus it will be easier as you already have loads of boy stuff. You need to leave the sex out of it and decide whether you want another baby at all.

Oh and I can't lie, this has been the toughest pregnancy by far. There is nothing physically wrong with me but being pregnant with two pre-schoolers is incredibly hard work. You really need a partner who is going to step up. My DH is brilliant with the kids and is happy to run about and chase them etc when I don't have the energy, but if you're on your own a lot it could be quite tough.

I find my one year old pretty hectic at times. He is a sweetheart but he does get very clingy and he will whinge and throw himself on the floor if he can’t get into my arms.

My husband and I worked out that every year since 2015 I have been pregnant! And in between that time I’ve been breastfeeding both my boys for a year each.
I literally just stopped nursing my one year old last week and now I have found out I’m pregnant, so this is like a huge blow and I feel as soon as I get my body back It gets taken away again!

Yes our plan was to have another one but our plan was in around 4-5 years! I’m 25 the thought of having a third baby right now is mind boggling.
I wouldn’t not love the baby if it was a boy, obviously. I’d love to try for a baby girl in the future but we never know what we will get.

Part of me thinks well if we do this then its getting it done and over with sooner but the other part of me knows we aren’t ready for another right now. I’m more so nervous about how I’ll cope, especially with my husband now being out of the country.

So yes I would like another baby but the question is can I do this just yet.

Maybe you could hire some help (like a nanny) if you decide to go ahead? Note that your oldest will soon start school (if he is not already at preschool?) and it wont always be hard. If you are not 100percent sure you want abortion - dont do it as it can damage your mental health for life. Good luck x

JustMe9
I think this has been made worse because for the last 2 days I’ve had severe sickness and nausea. I never had this with any of my pregnancy’s and I’ve been in bed all day today feeling so sick.
We have looked down the route of having a nanny but our oldest already goes to nursery and my step daughters tuition fees are so Hugh so adding a nanny to the equation just won’t financially work for us right now.