Just found out I'm pregnant and panicking

[allthesharks]

I have two DC from my previous marriage. My current DP was told less than 3 weeks ago that he's unlikely to be able to conceive naturally as he previously had chemotherapy. We were both devastated and decided there was no harm in starting to try, thinking it would take ages or we'd have to go down the route of fertility treatment. But here we are, pregnant in the first month. We are both happy and want this baby, however it's all happened so quickly and I'm freaking out. What will my parents think? They love my DC to bits but they've seen how I struggled after the breakdown of my marriage and will they think I can't cope? Can I cope? On the one hand, I've brought up 2 DC on my own so far with very little involvement from their Dad, so bringing up 3 with my DP involved should be manageable. But what about the impact on DC1&2? They've been through so much, is it fair that they'll have to share me with another child. And what about my MH? I had PND both times and the second time, my XH couldn't handle it, cheated on me and left. What if my DP leaves as well?

I know I'm catastrophising and working myself up. But it's normal to panic at first isn't it?!

Yes. The 'oh my goodness, what have I done?' thing happened every time for me, most intensely with no. 3, followed by no. 1. It's also incredibly normal to worry about the impact on an older child/children. Focus on them now - how old are they, and how long have you been with your dp? -, certainly not on what your parents think, which is, largely, irrelevant (unless they really provided you with unusually large amounts of support, and even then, your situation is different now).

They are 3 and 5. My DP and I have been together 2 years. Not a huge amount of time in the scheme of things but we both agree that this is it for us.

My parents did do a lot to support me after the breakdown of my marriage as my PND was very severe and my youngest was very small at the time. They do still help out with things but more like a grandparent/grandchild relationship now. I could understand them being wary. I am too.

It just feels so huge and daunting, but you are right, I have had this panic each time.

I have three children who are now virtually all grown up.

I clearly remember having the same "what the hell have I done" panic at the start of each pregnancy. I think it is normal. Everyone I know had it too.