Does my baby have to sleep at her dads house over night

[eks3]

Hi guys, I'm 21 weeks pregnant with my first little girl and I have split up with my boyfriend. He still lives with his mum who has put me through a horrendous amount of stress during my pregnancy. She constantly texts me sending me abuse, and threatening me. I want my daughter to have a good relationship with her dad but I don't really trust his mum. I was wondering when co parenting when she's born does she have to stay over at his house? I'm so worried because of how awful his mum is being with me she has already been threatening to take me to court and I don't want to have to go through all of that, I just want the best life possible for my little girl 😭

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and having a difficult time with my partner. We've been together 3 years (on and off) have always had arguments and what not but he seemed to have changed ALOT before I fell pregnant! Recently I feel like everything is about him, I've not had the best pregnancy to start with I'm struggling to say the least! Basically he called in sick from work and I told him to visit the dr's as I didn't want to be catching any horrible viruses when I'm pregnant. He told me that he went and swore on the baby's life. Something just wasn't adding up about it all. The fact he had an infection but no antibiotics so the truth finally came out he didn't go! I am so angry why he would need to lie about that! I feel like recently if I'm not feeling good and cancel plans he's annoyed at me and doesn't take my feelings into consideration. I've bought everything more or less for the baby out of a savings account he's contributed to but he has not took part in any of it, he didn't want to look at the pram. Didn't want to "crease the clothes" I've bought by looking at them. I'm just heart broken really, he's not what I thought he would of been! Hes promised time and time again he is going to change but it's come down to this.

I don't know where I'm supposed to go from here, we have a scan on Tuesday which I don't even think he's planning to show up to as his last text message was that he's not speaking to me for a couple of months when I've not done anything wrong!

Could people please give me their advice

ABOVE is a previous post and after the amount of greif I've received off both him and his mum is why I'm considering he is not on her birth certificate

Put him on the birth certificate. He is the babies father and has the right to be recorded as such. Surname is another issue as is his mother. Breast feed from the start and that will buy at least a year before overnights are even a consideration. If his mother keeps carrying on with the abuse only allow visitation away from her. Go through the courts if necessary.

Not putting your babies father on the birth certificate if he has done nothing wrong is nothing short of spiteful!

Poster has not mentioned why they have split.. She is happy with her ex to be involved with child... Yet here we are.. Let's punish the father just because we can for no reason.. No matter how much he wants to be in the child's life.. No don't put him on birth certificate...because that's the power we have.. Even though it could have been a mutual split. This site should help families not just be here to punish men

Sorry OP. Crossed with your updated post which explains things a lot better.

If he is not stepping up now then tell him you will not put him on the birth certificate and do it alone. Tel him he needs to step up and prove capable to be a father to your child. I would never agree with not putting a man on a child’s birth certificate unless she is not stepping up and showing capable as a father and he sounds somewhat lacking. Tell him you need him to step up and give him the chance to do so. Put it in writing to him and state in no uncertain terms you will parent alone unless he proves himself.

Given they are not married, if he doesn't come to the registration appointment, OP won't have any choice anyway - he can't go on it unless he's there.

Realistically it's not hard to get yourself added as a father onto the certificate later if he cares enough, so not putting him on it if he wants to be involved and comes to the appointment just delays it.

Whether his name is on the birth certificate doesn't make all that much legal or practical difference - as several others have mentioned it can be fairly easily ammended later. But it can make a big emotional difference - I would talk calmly to your ex about it and probably include him if he would like. I think giving the baby your surname is practical and sensible - the baby lives with you and it makes sense. I would make sure the father knows that this is your plan and give them a copy of the birth certificate. I would be straight forward and try not to allow legal reality to start unnecessary argument. On overnight stays a friend of mine split up shortly after her baby was born. She was breastfeeding and and mediation decided that 18 months was an appropriate age for overnights. So it is possible that a similar decision might be made here? When they got towards that age they mutually decided overnights weren't yet appropriate (I think partly because he didn't really know what to do overnight) and added in extra weekend time with the child's father as an alternative. The couple are civil and seem to be co-parenting amicably. I think these arrangements can work well - good luck!

Was also going to suggest the breastfeeding excuse. She can't be parted from you if you are breastfeeding