Pregnant Girlfriend

[Josh82]

I'm so confused. I love my girlfriend so much but seems with this pregnancy she's drifting away. Last night she told me she recently has felt nothing towards me. Prior to pregnancy our sex life was far in few between. I'm wanting to be more active in the bedroom but she's never been overly excited about it. I don't know what I can do to help. Any advice is appreciated. It's just so frustrating. She says she loves and I do as well but I'm just not seeing the physical confirmation.

Pregnancy is not the time to be working on your sex life. She is probably tired, feels weird, feels anxious and doesn't need the extra pressure of you asking her for sex.

Just support her. How much do you do around the house? If it's not equal (and with her being pregnant you should take on more depending on how she's feeling), that is going to hugely affect how she sees you.

I can't imagine anything worse than feeling like my husband wanted to be my priority during pregnancy. You're going to have to accept that it may not be like that for quite some time.

She's pregnant so now is NOT the best time to address your lack of sex life.

Far from it.

And love is not always shown through sex.

If you want to give the relationship a chance, be very loving and patient...but the sex issue may not be resolved for years...having a baby will only put it further back on her list of problems.

I appreciate your insight. And opinions.

I am pregnant with no. 2. I haven't had sex with my husband since baby was conceived.. Between feeling sick, tired and unattractive because of my ever growing size it is way down on my agenda. I really wouldn't push her. If you really want to talk to her then be gentle and have very low expectations IMO

How long has your sex life been lacking? I agree now isn't the time to be pestering her for sex
Was the pregnancy planned? Are u both happy about it?
Some women do go off sex when pregnant it's nothing to do with their partners there could be so many reasons especially if she's worrying about the pregnancy
Women just don't prioritise sex like men do
But it doesn't mean u will have to wait years for sex
And her sex drive might come back later on in the pregnancy
I agree with a PP asking you to help her out more if u can
You show her you love her and give her plenty of affection but don't pester her for sex maybe she will initiate it

How is your relationship otherwise? It is possible to have a very loving, supportive, happy relationship without sex for long periods. However if you don't actually like each other, whether or not you're having sex, perhaps you just arent well suited.

You think sex is few and far between now just wait until the baby comes! I think you’d benefit from readjusting your expectations.

There’s nothing like being nagged and guilt tripped to get you in the mood

Carry on like this and you’ll put her off for life.

No wonder she doesn't want to sleep with you. Selfish much? FFS.

There's nothing worse than feeling pressured into sex when your feeling like an ever expanding whale! I'm 28 weeks pregnant now with no2 and me and my OH haven't had sex or probably even cuddled since he was conceived he knows I just need space
.... I'd rather have a kitkat than have sex to be honest, and also if you want to be more active in the bedroom I'd try hoovering and making the bed she will appreciate that 100% more

Your girlfriend is pregnant and your worries about sex? Selfish. You can still be intimate without sex she will be exhausted maybe feeling sick and uncomfortable not all women feel like it when they are pregnant. Stop thinking of yourself a d feeling all sorry for yourself and start supporting her and asking her if shes ok and if she needs anything. Maybe read a book on pregnancy so you can understand exactly what shes going through.

You do know sex is not love?
It will s the things you do for your partner that show you care, the back rubs that are just back rubs, not an excuse to grope.
The kiss as you come home that is just to say hello
The text at lunch time, of a smile and nothing else.
Supported partners feel happier, are more likely to want to show affection .
Thing about how to improve , not how to get sex

Last night she told me she recently has felt nothing towards me
More than likely her hormones making her feel a bit more detached. This could come & go throughout the pregnancy & isn't a direct reflection on you.

There's usually not enough time for DP & I, but during pregnancy I probably could've done it alone.

I'm wanting to be more active in the bedroom but she's never been overly excited about it
Lack of drive was my first symptom. I don't know if it's to do with your body already achieving what it needs to from sex. It came back but now I'm on the last stretch, even if I want to I'm too tired.

Sickness, nausea, tiredness, painful boobs, bloating, irritability, sore back, restless legs. 24/7 hangover a lot of the time. Not to mention the physical changes to her appearance. I've hardly ate & I'm fat! She might not be feeling herself & is probably feeling like she's hungover 24/7.

The last thing she needs is to feel pressured or worried this will be an issue in her relationship when she has everything else to deal with. She needs to be supported & will have sex when she's ready. Also, sometimes it causes irritation & bleeding which just adds more worry.

As I said, this isn't a reflection on you. This is all just a symptom of being pregnant. Be supportive & refrain from doing/saying anything that will cause a real problem. This is just standard stuff as many on here will tell you. She has a lot to deal with physically & mentally. Let her know you're there for her, help her out

Life changes things.
If your parents have been together a long time go talk to your dad.
Remember this, your just starting a life together, you like the person you fell for, she is still there and just needs support in this part of life, and the rewards for being supportive are many more than just sex.

Talk to her and let her open up but listen to what she says don't interrupt. Pregnancy is difficult both physically and emotionally. Don't worry I'm sure things will work out.

Hello! Just a completely different perspective! I am 40 weeks tomorrow and I have literally from around the 12 week scan time been obsessed with sex! We never had a "bad sex" life you know the average 2 or 3 times a week. Since pregnancy (baby no 4) I am obsessed. Saying that I wasn't like that in my other 3 and had sex and enjoyed it but it certainly wasn't top of my agenda.
My husband and I went through a stage where I didn't want it after I had depression (post partum) baby no 3. I felt very low and unhappy and in a bad place. Therefore my sex drive went downhill, she may or may not be feeling depressed but either doesn't identify it or doesn't want to accept it. Or she could genuinely feel emotional detachment from you. She may not emotionally feel as connected to you, either in part due to hormones or not. You may just be going through a phase as a couple.

Emotionally bond with her more, tell her she's beautiful and everyday find something to tell and show her that you appreciate her and that your life is better because she's in it. Help out where you can around the house or do thoughtful little things like offer her a back massage. Offer to rub her bump and talk to your little baby inside. Tell baby how much you love him or her and how fantastic a job mummy is doing. My husband does all of these things not everyday but at least some of the above everyday and our intimacy has gone up a lot and we are very close now as a couple and as a result our sex life is much better.
Be patient with her and talk about how your feeling and let her tell you how she's feeling - sex is part of love but so is intimacy and without it the relationship surffers much more than sex

Good.luck

She's told you she doesn't feel anything towards you. That should be your concern right now IMO - there's not going to be any sex if she doesn't feel anything for you.

How long have you been together? Was the baby planned?

I now have my nearly 7 week old, and we had a very often sex life before conceiving +the first few weeks of pregnancy. Then I had bad morning sickness, acid reflux, and just feeling absolutely gross because most the time it was him clearing up my sick. The after that it was not wanting to be touched ever, no cuddles, no sex, rare kisses and even then they where only short and quick ones.
Now after 6 weeks, I can cuddle, (when our son lets us) and kiss and everything else we used to.
Don't push her or nag her otherwise she will pull away more. God he nagged be once or twice a day for sex from 4-6 weeks and it put me off!
Just expect it to not be the same after baby is here too, we can hardly eat dinner together so sex is going to be rare!

I'm 8 weeks pregnant with my second. Right now I seem to be ly8ng awake at night worrying that I don't feel anything for my husband...but it is just hormones. I did the same with number 1.

See is so far off the cards it can't be seen. My husband does get frustrated but he also understands that my body feels alien at the moment. I'm exhausted, feel sick, and quite honestly if he pushed for sex Iwould be even more irritated by him then my hormonal self already is