extreme anxiety and fears

[Hopex3]

hi all,

I am nearly 31 weeks and really am struggling to get my fears down. I'm so paranoid about everything, I'm so scared something is going to go wrong every day feels like a battle. it doesnt help that I scare myself by reading stories and lots of the time there has been no explanation for things that have gone wrong. I find it hard to talk about the future - I always say if before everything. I wont buy anything or allow anything in my home related to it. did anyone else experience this? and if so did anything help?

thanks so much x

Awww you're going through a really rough time. I'm 30 weeks at the moment, with my second and although I didn't have the anxiety while I was pregnant first time around (I didn't read much or 'prepare' really so I think that helped!) but I was a wreck after the baby came. Honestly, it's not that bad and we only hear the truly horrific stories which only happen 1 in a million babies! Keep telling yourself everything will be fine and discuss with your midwife- she'll be able to help and make sure your labour and delivery team are aware of your anxiety and will do everything to help! Think of a your beautiful amazing baby waiting to meet you

thank you - I really need to see positivity after the stories I read. I dont know why I do it to myself, I've suffered with anxiety for most of my life but particularly bad in the last few years. I've tried to get help for it but so far fairly unsuccessfully! I'm going to speak to her and hopefully she'll be able to alleviate my fears. not sure if she would be prepared to give me more monitoring rather than the appointment every 3 weeks but I appreciate NHS cant afford this for every woman who suffers with anxiety. I'd even consider going private but not sure where to even begin. thanks again, I'm hoping the next few weeks go quick x

Oh bless you . Definitely chat with your midwife and please try and avoid reading sad stories and replace them with happy ending stories. I was like you 26 years ago with my first pregnancy and it was so stressful and I didn’t have the internet to deal with !! Am sure you could see your mw for more regular shorter appointments where she can check position and heartbeat to reassure you .Xx

@Hopex3 - Are you me? Lol
I have also really struggled and I’m approaching 29 weeks. For me it’s having no control and that’s scares the hell out of me... I try to remind myself that the anxiety is just thoughts and thoughts can’t hurt me but some days are hard.
One thing I have done is buy little bits and bobs like baby wipes, bibs etc, they don’t take a lot of thought like a big purchase. Also it makes
me feel nice that I’m buying some bits for him. How would you feel about that? X

thanks for responses - I'm gonna have a chat with midwife tomorrow and see what she can do. I'm really struggling with it on a daily basis, I'm leaving work in 2 weeks where I'm hoping I'll feel better as one less thing to worry about. I find myself getting incredibly irritated easily too atm which from previous experience I know is stemming from my anxiety. I think when I leave work I'm gonna start going swimming or something, hoping the exercise will be good for my mind state. sorry you're experiencing the anxiety too @Kate3150 its horrid, glad you are able to somewhat rationalise it in your mind that's a good way to think of it. I can't even do that atm :( I had a miscarriage nearly a year ago which probably has contributed to my fears, I just want the next 9 weeks done with, I just cant imagine getting to the end at this point i5s really tough x

@Hopex3- I also had a miscarriage last year. I think the combination of that and being an anxious person anyway inevitably makes subsequent pregnancies harder ☹️.
Maybe don’t look as far as the next 9 weeks, I know it’s easier said than done but try breaking it up. I also can’t wait until the end when my little man is here, but I also want to try and enjoy the next couple of months before life changes! I know I’ll look back and wished I’d enjoyed those quiet evenings in front of the telly before the madness begins 😂. X

yeah it certainly makes it harder. I think I'm feeling particularly rubbish today as I have a midwife appointment tomorrow - always seems to be worse before a scan or appointment. panic goes into over drive. I might have to do that, like I said leaving work in 2 weeks so maybe set that as a first goal post then maybe getting to 37 weeks as that's full term etc. might be better than just looking at it as a lump amount of time which still seems so far away. I wish I could just calm the panic down every now and again but I panic about everything and catastrophize x

I second how you are feeling and I am only about 6 weeks, so very early days.

@Hopex3- How did your midwife appt go? X

hi Kate, not fantastic unfortunately. currently in hospital as had really nasty cramps when I woke up kind of like youd get when you have a stomach bug. just mentioned it in passing to midwife and got told to go for monitoring. bump is also measuring same as it was at last scan 27cm so have a growth scan in 10 minutes. no wonder I feel I'm on verge of a nervous breakdown, this is 4th hospital visit in space of 4/5 weeks :( how are you x

Oh Hope, I will keep my fingers crossed for you :) Also they someone can help you to relax

@Hopex3- Oh my love sending you big big cuddles!!!! You’re in my thoughts, you’re in the best place at the moment so they can keep an eye on you 💜