Early pregnancy at over 40

[Mystie]

I've recently found out I'm pregnant at 43! Already have three children but haven't been pregnant for 12 years so feel nervous, scared, anxious and excited all at the same time.

I'd really love to be able to share my journey with other mums to be who are of the same age and may have similar worries... downs, high blood pressure, miscarriage etc.

Also any older mums who've been there done that please jump in and share your words of wisdom!!

I’m 42 and currently 35 weeks with no 3 - 13 year age gap! Pregnancy has gone well physically although I struggled with anxiety in the 2nd trimester for the reasons you mention. I have started to enjoy it now though and the extra monitoring/growth scans have been reassuring. My previous 2 were delivered via c section so I’m already booked in to deliver at 38 weeks. It’s going to be a big change for us but the older kids are looking forward to it! Hope you are keeping well so far.

@3at42 thanks for sharing your story and so pleased to hear that you are nearly there! I know I've got a long way to go already been having some bleeding this week which has made me think the inevitable but midwife told me not to worry, just got to wait until 7 October for viability scan at EPU and not get too worked up in the meantime.

My eldest will be 19 when baby is born, can't imagine he's going to be too excited lol but my 11 year old daughter will be a huge help for babysitting in a few years! Also have a 12 year old son. How long did you wait to tell people? Did you have the harmony test?

We had an early scan at around 8 weeks before we told the older kids, parents, siblings - to be honest the kids knew something was up because I was absolutely exhausted. We figured they were old enough to cope and understand if things didn’t work out. We did Harmony at about 10 weeks I think - results came back within 3 days which was great. Other than that we’ve stayed away from social media and just let the news filter out as and when we’ve seen people. I’m sure there will be a few that get a shock when they see me with a baby in a few weeks! Our daughter is definitely more excited than our son!

@3at42 did they tell you the sex with the harmony results? Assuming your results were all great odds for avoiding any chromosomal abnormalities?

I know what you mean about funny looks that's been one of my biggest worries is how old I will look at school pick up in 5/6 years time! Better start investing in some good face cream lol

Yes, you can choose to find out the sex - we did and the rest of the results were low risk.

One thing I found quite difficult during the first half of the pregnancy was the lack of filter with some people. ‘Pregnant again with teenagers, what a nightmare’, ‘what were you thinking’, ‘I can’t imagine going back to sleepless nights and nappies now’ etc etc...

I found it upsetting and just had to try and ignore as much as possible - it’s mostly stopped now though. Being an older parent is definitely a worry but on the other hand I’m hoping it will keep us fit

I had DS at 44. His step brothers were 28 and 30.
It was a straightforward pregnancy and DS was late and big (9/13) but long and skinny. Now I'm going through the menopause, I'm constantly feeling more tired but at least he's 10 and fairly independent now. My mum had me at 43 so I wasn't worried at all.
Good luck with your pregnancies.

@SconeofDestiny Really appreciate you sharing your positive story. Great to know you had a good pregnancy! Hoping for the same. I'm pretty active and relatively fit so hoping that will help.

@3at42 I know exactly what you mean about the judgement. That's exactly why I'm not telling anyone until as far along as possible, not even my mum or sisters. I don't want to hear about the negatives, I know there will be some but they are all worth it when you look at the bigger picture. I can't wait for the nappies and sleepless nights.. ok maybe not those lol but I have the luxury of not having to go back to work this time and am much more financially secure which I think will make a huge difference. I have quite a few friends my age who have just had their first baby so will not feel isolated. Did you join your local NCT?

I had DD2 3 months ago at 41 but only had my first at 39 so have no idea what it's like being a yound mum! Both pregnancies were very straightforward. Had the harmony at 10 weeks which was reassuring. I dont live in the UK and where I am you have scans every month at least regardless so I wasnt treated differently to any other pregnant woman. I will return to full time work in 4 weeks time which am dreading but we'll survive. I'd be quite happy to get pregnant again but I'd say my ovaries haven't got much left to give! You've got this!

@Thecaravan thanks for sharing, so glad you have had positive experiences, it can definitely be quite isolating as an older mum it's great to know I'm not alone!

Congratulations! I had my last baby at age 44. I had the harmony test at 10 weeks, and the result enabled me to have a relatively relaxing and enjoyable pregnancy. I'd recommend having it if you can afford it.

@Mystie there is a group for those of us older mums setup.
I’m 40 and due my first next week.
It’s called older expectant mums. We are a nice bunch.
We are all at different stages of pregnancy.

@Em39ma ahh great thanks!!! I'll come and find you xx