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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Introvert first time mum seeking friends

42 replies

strawberrysundayss · 25/09/2019 21:59

Hi all.
As the title says I'm a first time mum looking for some buddies. I'm 7+2 and due next May.

I've been on some of the other chats but they've gotten so big I can't keep up with everyone and just looking for a small group of lovely ladies that I can actually get to know!

Though I'm an introvert at heart, I'm also very sociable day to day I promise! Anyone else looking for some buddies feel free to say hello Smile

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moodybum · 26/09/2019 22:08

What a lovely compliment thank you 😊 yes, starting with gratefulness is such a good way to change your perspective, I did the same in the past. My crohns is bad atm, it has taken a lot from me, but I'll be damned if it's gonna take me down lol, gotta keep getting back up :) hopefully starting some biologics soon, so fingers crossed fresh start!

I struggled with feeling like I was constantly asking for help/advice about everything, a lot of women I have encountered have had the attitude "if you don't have kids you don't know", and I always knew that was crap, no one has a switch, but if you trust yourself a little and try not to overthink everything all the time (goals!), you'll be fine, better than fine!

Everyone has the style that fits them best, all I heard was about how routine is key. But our son only came home on his due date, so I had a whole lot of snuggling to catch up on, time to bond. And so I felt like that should put me into the baby wearer camp, but I am the clumsiest person, so that idea filled me with terror. So I used the pram when I wanted to put him down, picked him up when I felt like he wanted me too and when I wanted to, and ignored anything that didn't make sense to our life at the time. You pick up on what they might want, and there are tough days, tiredness and hormones etc, but ultimately you are a little family who spends so much time together you can narrow down what he/she wants. And yes there are days when you don't have confidence so you ask for help, but just ignore people who assume things and ask questions like "are you doing this?"

If we are lucky enough to fluke another Bubba, I'm telling myself, you got this. Even when I feel like I don't :) its amazing, even the tough bits (looking back lol)

KateK00 · 26/09/2019 22:36

@strawberrysundayss aww I’m so pleased for you Smile
Haha yeah I’m sure you’ll have your moments of wanting some peace and quiet but it’s worth all the mess and noise I promise.
The best bit for me is seeing the bond my 2 have as they’re close in age, and seeing them smile gets me every time Blush
DD is quite an unwell child unfortunately so I’ve been at the end of my tether with that situation but when she has a good day you immediately forget the bad.
Overall the whole experience is more exciting than anything else. I think you’re going to love it! Xx

HopefulHun · 27/09/2019 07:24

@strawberrysundayss

Yeah me and my other half were the same, we expected to be TTC for a long time. We are very grateful it didn't take too long as I personally was already symptom checking and annoying myself before I was due AF.

I told my mum and best friend right away.. I didn't want to tell many people but I have always been a big drinker and so it's really hard to hide! My other half got drunk and told his friend too which I thought was quite sweet as he's obviously excited (sometimes worry he's more terrified than excited). I want to tell the world! Have you told anyone?

Yes, my mum got me a book that's week by week, it's huge and I'm loving looking at it everyday! I have the same book as you too, it's very cute. Starts with the strawberry doesn't it Smile

Have you had a scan/have any booked yet? I've not spoken to anyone about my pregnancy yet as my doctor just said congrats and gave me a self referral form! Anticlimax...

strawberrysundayss · 27/09/2019 16:04

@moodybum well said! I've always been obsessed with kids and my family nickname means "little mother" so I totally thought I'd have a few kids by now but I'm so excited for this next season!
It's crazy I already have so many opinions and theories about how I'm going to raise my little bean but who knows what will happen when they actually get there!
Do you have much family support? Unfortunately my parents live abroad but we've got my husbands family which is nice though they're a couple hours away. We're thinking of moving to be closer to them as I'm sure we'll appreciate their support!
Do you have many friends locally? All my closest friends live in London and I live down south though I've made some lovely friends here too.

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strawberrysundayss · 27/09/2019 16:05

@KateK00 sorry to hear DD is poorly. Hope it's nothing too serious.
Do you have much family support or friends nearby?

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strawberrysundayss · 27/09/2019 16:11

@HopefulHun oh my gosh me too!!!! I was the worst during the TWW. I bought a 50 pack of those internet cheapies and was literally going through so many of them cause I would start testing 6dpo 🙈🙈.

I almost didn't tell my mum because she is terrible with secrets but I swore her to total silence. And funnily my mum told me that my dad had a dream he was having a grandson (she hasn't told him) so funny right. Not telling my dad till 12 weeks because he definitely can't keep a secret 😂

Oh I was thinking of getting that week by week book it looks really interesting. Do you think it's worth getting?

I had an early scan because I had severe pain but it turned out to be ok and saw little beans heart beat thumping away was so lovely. I'm actually at doctors today to check I don't have UTI as midwife said that can also cause severe pain. I had actually paid for a private scan but since I had my early one I changed that one to an early gender scan when I'm 16weeks. How about you have you done any scans?

Have you bought anything? Going window shopping for prams this weekend can genuinely can't wait. Have to control myself from buying anything!

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KateK00 · 27/09/2019 17:01

@strawberrysundayss It’s quite serious and ongoing unfortunately but it’s just one of those things we have to live with. My whole family are nearby yes so that’s a help. Do you have family/in laws nearby? Xx

strawberrysundayss · 27/09/2019 17:48

@KateK00 aw sorry to hear that babe but lovely that you have so much family around you!
Unfortunately my parents live abroad but my DHs family are about 2 hours away. We're considering moving to be closer so we have some support but also so our DC can grow up around family. I lived near aunts and cousins as a child and loved it so want my children to have the same really.

Do you have any siblings/ nieces or nephews? And how do you and you DP get together?

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Sweetpeach3 · 27/09/2019 18:18

I'm a mum of 2 and number 3 on the way. I'm only 23 and found it verryyyyyy difficult and scary to go make new friends as I only have 2 friends out of them all who have kids so they don't really wan be around us an the mayhem lol.
I have now found my best friend an I met her at a playgroup 2 years ago. We chat everyday whenever we can. See each other at playgroup 3 times a week and do everything together pretty much. But I found in the playgroup iv made a lot of friends I didn't expect to and their the most amazing different types of people I could of asked for! Dreaded it at first but best think I did to get me out xx

KateK00 · 27/09/2019 21:11

@strawberrysundayss aww yeah obviously every family is different but from personal experience I’d totally recommend having family close by, it’s good for you and good for the kids.
DP and I got together at school, he’s recently gone to university close by so still all living together) which has put a bit of a strain on things but I don’t think either of us expected it to be easy Smile

HopefulHun · 28/09/2019 17:42

@strawberrysundayss Yeah I also used those cheapy ones from amazon and kept testing. I spent so much money on more expensive ones when they had a really faint line though.. drove myself mad!

Oh wow! I couldn’t not tell my Mum, she’d suss me out so quickly. Bless them though, you can imagine they’d not want to keep it a secret because it’s such happy news! She’s good to have not told your dad! Bet she’s squirming to tell him. It will be so awesome when it’s been 12 weeks and we can shout it from the rooftops!

Yeah the week by week book is really good, I’ve got some good apps too.. I like bounty and pregnancy + is a really cool one to see what they look like in there!

Aww I’m sorry to hear you had severe pain! Has that improved now? Oh how lovely you’ve seen the little heart beat, soooo exciting! How was the doctors? How are you feeling? I’ve got an early scan booked at 9 weeks for the end of October which is actually a day before my birthday so that’s a great pressie for me!

I’ve not bought anything other than one little babygrow I got to tell my other half I was pregnant (even though it didn’t quite work out cos I couldn’t wait to get the 100% positive, so wanted to tell him about the faint line etc etc). Oh how nice though to be going shopping for a pram, even if it is window shopping! I can’t wait to do the same but we will definitely wait a little while...

Hayesdays · 30/09/2019 09:25

Hello! Please may I join? I'm a FTM too, a bit ahead of you at 31 +4 weeks. I've had a lovely pregnancy so far shared with 2 close friends who have both had their babies now. Feeling a bit lonely as obviously they're very busy now, so would love some mummy friends to chat with!

I've got a low placenta so have a scan on Friday to find out if it has moved enough to have a natural birth - absolutely can't wait to see my little girl again...Although slightly nervous to check she still is a girl haha!

strawberrysundayss · 01/10/2019 12:45

@Sweetpeach3 thanks for sharing that! Glad to hear you've made some good friends! It's encouraging to hear that play groups are a great place to meet people so I'll definitely will do that!
Congrats on the third how far along are you?

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strawberrysundayss · 01/10/2019 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

strawberrysundayss · 01/10/2019 12:49

@KateK00 seems like you've got a lovely family set up! We're considering moving after baby is born so hopefully we'll have them near soon!

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Sweetpeach3 · 01/10/2019 12:54

@strawberrysundayss I'm 7 months now!! It's dragging though lol how you finding your pregnancy??

strawberrysundayss · 01/10/2019 12:56

@HopefulHun sorry for late reply it's been a really busy few days with work and personal life! Plus the exhaustion doesn't help I've been passing out at 8-9pm every evening!

Anyway, doctors was fine thanks! They put me back a few days but it's not very accurate this early and I'm fairly certain of where I am because I track my ovulation and know what date I ovulated. Still waiting for my appointment with midwife haven't heard anything from them yet not sure if I have to chase them up.

I have the pregnancy+ app as well really like that one! Also have natural cycles as that's what I use to track my ovulation and downloaded BabyCentre too. Can't get enough 😂😂

Aw early scan will be a great present for yourself! I'm having to stop myself booking anymore 🙈

Had a fabulous time this weekend looking at push chairs and general baby stuff. Pretty much decided which I want and bought some super cute baby grows I couldn't resist.

How did your other half react when you told him? Are you planning anything to tell anyone else? I've got a whole photo shoot prepared to share pictures once I've had my 12 weeks scan I'm that person lol.

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