Dreading telling work I'm pregnant

[Tetrus]

I came back to work 5 months ago, after being off for a year on maternity leave. It's a really busy role, constant pressure, tight deadlines etc. My boss and teammates said a few times "I'm so glad you're back, I thought the year would never end!" (which now makes me feel really guilty that I'll have to tell them I'm pregnant again). My 'replacement' ended up at the doctor several times during the year with stress related illnesses (doing my job). My assistant also left while I was on leave, and the new girl who replaced her has also been at the doctor with stress! The director realised there was so much work that they actually kept my replacement on, (as well as me) which is great except then they piled on a whole lot of additional projects...

Anyway... now I'm 7 weeks pregnant, which I'm delighted about. I'm almost 40 so didn't want to leave it too long in between my first and 2nd. Plus my son will be 2yrs anyway by the time new baby comes. It took us ages to conceive the first time round which was such an upsetting experience for over a year, so we didn't want to wait around in case that happened again.

But I feel like I need to justify all of that, because I just don't know how I'm going to tell the team and my boss that I'll be gone again from next April and that I intend on taking the year again.
Does that make me really selfish? I only have this one chance to be there for the first year of my baby's life.

I wouldn't worry about this at all. It's JUST A JOB and you don't have to justify your desire for another child to anyone, including your employer. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy your family, and stop worrying about what your boss thinks.

Stop worrying and apologising, no justification whatsoever is required.

Congratulations and enjoy

I don’t have much advice for you as I had 10 years between my babies, but I wanted to congratulate you on your lovely news!

Try not to worry too much about work. I’m sure a few people will have their ridiculous opinions about it, but you’re well within your rights to have another baby and don’t let anyone take the shine off it!

I would hold off on telling them for as long as you can until you absolutely need to.

They’ll have plenty of time to sort out a replacement, they’ve done it before and they can do it again

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies, I know you're all right, it is just a job. I will give them plenty of time to find a replacement, just want to shake this guilt soon

I had my two children very close together, my boss was lovely about it, family life is much more important than any job. Good luck & congrats OP.

You definitely shouldn't feel guilty - although I totally would in your position 🙈
Two years is a 'normal' age gap so I would have thought they might guess you'd have a second child?
We are lucky enough to be pregnant after 4.5 years of infertility and plan to try again fairly soon once this one (hopefully) arrives. We've wasted so much of our lives Ttc and we expected to have completed our family a while ago so it doesn't make any sense to wait.
Good luck with everything xxx

Oh wow janey15 that's amazing, congratulations! That must have been so unbelievably difficult. Best of luck with everything

They've hospitalised 2 women with stress I wonder if they feel as guilty about that as you do about being a completely normal human being. I wouldn't worry at all. Xxx Hope you you feel better and get to enjoy your pregnancy. X

I was so nervous telling my employer, I had just got a big promotion and was about 3 weeks into the job when I fell pregnant. I still feel really guilty but fate kinda played its hand with me as I am experiencing my 2nd HG pregnancy. I had no choice to tell work at 8 weeks as I was in hospital. I took about 4 weeks off but I am back working from home now.

My work were really supportive & pleased. I suspect behind the scenes, they have banged some heads on desks but not to my face. I’m 15 weeks now and happily chat to manager about the pregnancy & leave etc without worrying.

At the end of the day, I always think that a company would make you redundant if it needed too without a thought for your life or your family or your service. Life outside work is more important & employers have to expect women will become pregnant & have time off.

I say just be honest when the times right. Be confident in your right to have children & time off. And work hard until you go off (sounds like you do already).

Hi OP

I’ve been in a similar position and to be honest I think it’s natural to feel guilty if your employer is a good employer / you like them. Because at the end of the day, all maternity rights aside, it is a pain for employers trying to get maternity cover and I think that is where the guilt stems from.

That said, jobs can wait but your fertility can’t. Good luck with it all, it will all work out x

Hello. Firstly congratulations!!!
I’m actually feeling a similar way myself. I’m 14 weeks and recently had a big promotion. On the past some of the senior men at work have made it clear to me just how inconvenient they find maternity leave. But then they all know the legal rules and that they can’t say much. I’ve had a horrid first trimester and have been worrying about telling them... But ultimately there is never a “good time” to get pregnant and this has to be my priority. I know we shouldn’t feel guilty. I’ll put it off for a few more weeks I think!
Good luck with it!

I went back to work mid March this year after a years maternity and left 2 weeks ago to go on 2nd maternity so
Was literally back 6 months. My little boy will be 18months when baby is born ( 3 weeks today via c section!)
It wasn’t planned as my little boy was a miracle in itself so we million % never expected to fall pregnant naturally again, I had already agreed my dates to go back ( part time now) before I knew I was pregnant which did make me feel less guilty but my work were really great.