Comments people make when you don’t know sex of baby

[Nov19]

33 weeks and decided not to find out sex of baby. I’ve had a mixture of comments from “you look like you’re carrying a boy, your bump really sticks out” or “your bump isn’t neat enough to be a boy - you’re having a girl”. Am I just being cranky or is it really really annoying? I have no preference to the sex of the baby and to be honest I’m trying to not think into it too much, I used to love guessing but as the time is nearing I try not to think too much into it because I’m getting a bit impatient.
Another thing people are saying is that because I have a son already they just can’t see me with a daughter and I would only suit boys. I just don’t even know what to reply to that.
Does it annoy anyone else? maybe I need to lighten up - I’ll blame lack of sleep!

They're just old wives tales. Not true how you're carrying pointing to a boy or a girl. Only way you'll know is when he/she is born.
It would annoy me too, I found out with all of mine but I can imagine if I didn't and I was reaching the end stretch of pregnancy it would annoy me because I'd just want to know.
Just smile and nod and then ignore the comments, make sure you get loads of rest. Boy or girl you'll have a lovely bouncing baby and it will be a big surprise at the end of your labour

It’s just small talk. Kind of annoying but nice that they are interested in your baby. It is rather an obvious talking point!

I think you’re just being cranky. They are probably assuming you are interested in your pregnancy and trying to talk to you about it and saying idle chitchat.

Everyone likes to have a guess at the sex and let's face it, they have a 50:50 chance of getting it right.

The second comment about you not suiting girls is an odd one and a bit twatty tbh. Be equally twatty back and say you'll leave it at the hospital to be adopted if it's a girl.

If you know the sex then they'll ask if you've got any names and speculate on those instead. That would be just as annoying after a while I expect.

I was team yellow for both of mine & it's the best thing ever to meet your new baby with no expectations.

Try "I was hoping for a kitten / rabbit but apparently not" [looks disappointed]. Worked for me

We knew the sex but chose not to tell people more widely as immediate family didn't wish to know.

It’s not the fact they’re guessing that’s an issue as everyone is bound to it’s more the comments on the back of their guess. I’m quite self conscious with weight gain and when I’ve had the “it’s not neat enough to be a boy” comments I’m worried they think I’ve put weight on, sounds ridiculous I know. And then the basically “you wouldn’t suit a girl” comments I find quite odd. I know the same comments can come even if you knew what you were having I think because I’ve had a lot of them it’s bugged me lately.

I quite like the comments. I'm having a yellow baby too.

I've also been told I'm a mum of boys and people couldn't see me with a girl. To be honest I see where they are coming from, Im a tom boy. It generally doesn't bother me.

36 weeks here, we didn't find out with our first one and it was an amazing experience finding out we had a boy after all the exhaustion and pain of labour, so much so that we decided not to find out again this time around. However everyone seems to have an opinion. My mum has made it clear she's desperate for a girl this time round, and I know she'll be disappointed if its another boy. Everyone seems to be convinced we'd want a girl, and they seem surprised when we say 'well actually another boy would be quite convenient'. People are surprised we didn't find out this time round, since we already have a boy, as if we might have to prepare ourselves for the disappointment if it's another boy, or go mad buying pink clothes urgently if it's a girl. Neither of these things will be happening, for one thing we have plenty of beautiful baby clothes which will be perfectly functional whether it's a girl or a boy. For another thing, I really don't mind what we get, I'm more bothered that it's born safely, and soon.

Approaching 31 weeks and we're team yellow as well. Reactions do seem to vary and we're very much in the minority in our NCT class but I love the fact that we'll get that magical moment of finding out after all that hard work of labour!
I absolutely know what you mean about size comments - my bump is very forward like a beach ball so I get all the obvious comments about it being a boy. Last night I dreamt I had a girl and it really through me to the point I woke up in tears purely because I was worried it was my brain spoiling the surprise - daft I know!

The comments don't annoy me particularly but I can completely understand why they would. I don't like the judgement from people who have finding out saying they don't know how we've managed, like we're strange, despite that fact that pre-modern medicine nobody knew!

That sounds bloody irritating.

It's really annoying. My MIL used to comment that I would 'definitely have girls' and that SIL would 'have lots of boys' because apparently I'm 'girly' and she's not (neither of which is really true or anything to do with her). She's an idiot and it really wound me up when she'd make such stupid comments.

It’s seem not finding out isn’t as common as I thought (where I am anyway). My sister in law just had a baby and she knew what she was having so I’ve been compared to her the whole time as there’s only 6 weeks between us. I don’t mind at all it make it more exciting for us to find out and we’ve had such a mixed review with boy/girl guesses but as we’re nearing the end and it’s becoming more common the reasons for the guesses do get a bit more irritating. A neighbour told me today that looking at my face I’m having a boy, now I’m not sure if that means my face has changed or what but I was left confused - daren’t google it in case it an old wives tale about swollen faces being a sign for a boy come up or else I’ll a be a tad offended

We didn't find out last time and haven't this time.
I don't mind the guessing so much and people tend to comment more along the lines of "you sure it's not twins" or "wow you've gotten big" and that is frustrating, but I know everyone carries differently and my size doesn't mean much about what baby is doing.

The most annoying thing is everyone asking what I'd like and the way they ask. The tone is quite presumptious and makes it sound like clearly I must have a preference. I always respond with I'd like a baby and they'll come back with, oh but I bet a girl would be easier as you already have one, or I bet a boy would be nice as you have a girl already. Like those comments are going to make me say "oh yes you are right, I'd prefer one sex to another" I literally couldn't care less what it is.

@Frizzy1986 I know what you mean. A lot of people assume I want a girl because I already have DS. People have said if this is a girl at least I can stop at 2. Myself and DP would like 3 or 4 children in total, now that could be 3 or 4 boys or a mixture. We wants children to have children not to keep going until we get one of each. I suppose there’s always people who will have an opinion. I just hate the thought of people assuming I’d be disappointed with either sex, I just want a healthy baby.

@nov19 The comment about your face was actually a nice compliment - apparently girls 'steal your beauty' and you bloom more with boys

Everyones bump shape is different ,im neat with girls & big with boys. I think it is annoying when people comment,ive had a few comments some nice others not but i try not to let it bother me. We are having a girl but still get comments , dont let people bother u just enjoy being pregnant x

I hate people commenting about me in general so I'm not looking forward to the pregnancy comments! My husband thinks we're having a girl (I'm 10 weeks) and that annoys me as I'm just hoping for a baby after our history of infertility and miscarriage. I would like to find out later on but would probably like to keep it a secret!

Everyone and everything can be annoying when you're pregnant

Someone told me this baby would be a boy because I 'obviously can't carry girls' (had a lot of problems with my daughters health first pregnancy. I carried her just fine thanks)
I think people speak without a thought to how hurtful comments can be when you're pregnant and potentially feeling a bit delicate anyway.