Drinking in early pregnancy - have I ruined everything?!

[soworried409]

DH and I started casually ttc about 2 years ago. As we're both in our mid-30s, our approach was that if I did manage to conceive then it'd be the best news ever, but if not we would accept it and be content to continue our lives just as a couple.

I've had a lot of stress in my life in the last year (work related mainly) and during that time my drinking started to creep up, to the point where I was consuming about one bottle of wine per night. Our love life had almost dwindled to zero as we had so much other stuff going on.

Anyway, a week ago I realised my period was four days late, which is unusual for me as I'm normally quite regular. I took a pregnancy test and was completely shocked to find it was positive. I was 5 weeks pregnant to the day.

I was absolutely over the moon and so was DH, but after the initial excitement wore off, I've started getting incredibly anxious about the levels of alcohol I was drinking before getting the BFP.

Since taking the test I haven't touched a drop, but from the point of conception to BFP (three weeks) I was drinking around a bottle of wine almost every single night.

I've been googling extensively and have seen other threads on Mumsnet where people say the baby isn't even connected to the mother at this stage, so not to worry.

But I've also read reports that say drinking at any point during pregnancy is harmful and that actually, the first trimester is the worst as this is when the baby's anatomy is developing.

I'm absolutely terrified that I've harmed the baby and even though DH and I are overjoyed at the thought of having a little one, I can't help thinking that I should do the responsible thing by terminating this pregnancy.

From a selfish point of view it's the last thing I want to do and the thought of it breaks my heart, especially as I may never conceive again. But if the baby came into the world with issues that I myself could have caused through my drinking, then I'd never live with myself.

The other thing to mention is that I stopped taking folic acid ages ago, and only started up again after getting the BFP. I can't believe I've given my baby such a terrible start in life.

If anyone has any advice I'd be so grateful - I'm going out of my mind with worry.

You have done no harm whatsoever. Stopping now is the right thing to do but, as you have already read, your baby isn't currently connected to your bloodstream, so there is no harm done. At '5 weeks' pregnant, conception will only have happened 2.5-3 weeks ago anyway.

Please don't worry. There is no need to consider drastic action. Start taking your pregnancy vitamins, eat a good diet, and best of luck with the first trimester!

Hi ya, I was the same as you when I found out. A fairly heavy drinker, about a bottle a night, more at the weekends.

I can only comment on my own experience but I am almost 29 weeks now and everything is okay going by scans etc.

The fact you've stopped since you found out is really good.

You should have a lot more reassurance when you go for your first 12 week scan.

good luck, I think you'll be fine x

i think you are fine and shouldn't panic.

A baby isn't even connected to the placenta until after 5-6 weeks, so before then they aren't getting anything like that from you anyway.

Most of the world do not find out until 4+ weeks gone and then change their habits.

Alcohol issues really are generally from people drinking 'a lot' ie vodka bottle per night for months on end.

Now you know, you can stop the alcohol, restart the folic acid and go from there.

I doubt that you have done any damage, please don't worry. I had been doing a pub crawl the bank holiday Monday of the week I found out (the Friday) and have to admit my drinking habits were a little like yours beforehand. My 7 month old son is healthy and happy with no problems whatsoever.

Thank you everyone for the responses.

I have booked an early eight week scan to try and put my mind at rest, but I don't suppose the symptoms of FAS would be picked up by that?

I can't tell you how guilty and stupid I feel.

I drank like a fish (1-2 bottles wine a day) when I conceived and up to BFP as it was Xmas/New Year and as we’d only had sex twice in Dec (both in our 40’s) I thought there was no chance.
BFP 6 Jan at 4+3.
MW said that any drinking before 5 weeks doesn’t matter. I’ve had an easy pregnancy and everything is fine (now 40 wks).

Drinking in early pregnancy usually has an all or nothing effect. It either has no effect whatsoever (baby not connected to your bloodstream yet) or it can cause a misscarriage. However you've found out your pregnant. You've stopped drinking. Everything will be fine. Try to relax and look after yourself x

Same here - heavy drinking up to 4.5 weeks when I found out. It was over Christmas and we were knocking back a LOT of festive cheer including a Christmas party where I had way too much to drink and passed out afterwards! Currently breastfeeding a very alert, very active 9 day old who so far is looking spot on for all tests etc. Try not to worry. You’ve given up now and that is what counts.

Thank you for the reassuring words. I will try to relax but it's so hard - I keep beating myself up.

Bloomin hell OP, you sound way too worried. I developed anxiety after the birth of DC1 so I'd encourage you to research coping mechanisms and relaxation/mindfulness/meditation techniques. This is a very minor issue, very early on.
Best of luck

This is a very minor issue, very early on.

It makes me feel better that you think so!

I am naturally a very anxious person at the best of times...

I have booked an early eight week scan to try and put my mind at rest, but I don't suppose the symptoms of FAS would be picked up by that?

In the nicest possible way - you are being totally over the top and need to calm down. Plenty of people still drink when TTC or get pregnant by accident while being completely trollied. I was on my honeymoon enjoying a lot of all inclusive cocktails when DS was concieved and none of what you’re saying even crossed my mind (DS is perfectly fine by the way). If you’re really freaking out over this then you sound like you’re already on the path to being completely over anxious through this pregnancy - you’ve still got a long few months ahead. Chill out and enjoy your good news.

I didn't discover I was pregnant until I was 20+ weeks. I had drunk a lot over Christmas when I would have been 8/9/10 weeks pregnant, and about 15 units a week after that until I discovered I was pregnant. On top of that I was taking medication that is contraindicated in pregnancy. I was beside myself and convinced I'd damaged DS forever. He was absolutely fine, fighting fit and healthy, very bright and certainly no signs of FAS (I still worried low level until he was 3 or so that he'd develop FASD related behavioural issues - he's absolutely fine).

From the website healthychildren.org:

Cause
FASDs can happen only when a pregnant woman consumes alcohol. The alcohol crosses the placenta and enters the baby's blood where it can damage the developing brain and other organs leading to an FASD.

Your baby doesn’t have a placenta yet. Therefore any alcohol you may have drunk cannot have passed through it, as it doesn’t exist.

Early pregnancy can obviously be a very worrying time, but I wonder, are you an anxious person by nature? Personally I would step away from google, and have faith in your body. Don’t worry about things unless you are told there is something to worry about by a medical professional!

I'm a doctor. I'm not normally a heavy drinker, but I conceived on an all inclusive honeymoon and was drinking about as much as you at the time (hey, it was all free!). I didn't give it a second thought. The baby doesn't share your circulation until around the time of the positive pregnancy test, so as long as you stop once you know you're pregnant, you should be fine. Please don't terminate a wanted pregnancy because of this. If you're still worried, talk to your GP, who should be able to help with your more general anxiety.

OP, you really need to try and get your anxiety under control. You are thinking about terminating over drinking early on, this is crazy.

If you want kids you need to sit yourself down and tell yourself you can't control everything and that's ok! This time it's over having a bottle of wine but next time you get caught, it will be worrying over the air you breathe because it's full of shit. Or maybe you sat with your legs crossed so that's it, time to bin baby and try again with the next one.

All this shit nowadays about not eating this and that, don't drink that, don't so much as walk next to a car. Yes it's good that we now know but it's not out there to make you feel like total shit if you happen to do one of those things that is damned.

You drank and now you have stopped, feel bloody proud and enjoy your pregnancy!

My nan drank everynight when she was pregnant, it was the 60s. She also smoked 20fags a day, 140 fags a week!! Mom was born under weight but other then that fine. My aunty drank most weekends and smoked loads and her daughter was fine, even her weight. My best friend did everything by the book to today's standards and ended up having a emergency C-section, baby stayed in hospital for 5 weeks.

Somethings are out of our control OP, we just have to do our best and hope for the best. You will be a great mom. Stop worrying, what's done is done.

Hi confession! I didn’t know until I was 5 weeks. I’d done cocaine the night my dd was conceived, been heavily drinking and smoking for the whole 5 weeks. I stopped it al took folic acid and vitamins and have a very healthy 9 month old dd. She’s very forward and she’s crawling ect and meeting all milestones. Please don’t feel bad, long as you do the right thing when you know. Your baby will be measured and tested for different things throughout pregnancy. x

I was very very merry at Christmas, unbeknownst to me I was also five weeks pregnant.
I’m am now sitting between two very beautiful, non fas, babies.
As everyone else says, there are many things to worry about, this is not one of them.

OP you will be fine.

You're going to have a very tough road ahead, and years of it (pregnancy and child-rearing), if this induces so much anxiety in you.

Your issue isn't having a few too many drinks before finding out you're pregnant. Something an infinite number of woman have done before you.

Your issue is your anxiety, which is going to have a far greater impact on your wellbeing over the years.