17w pregnant but don't feel it

[Rmac90]

Hey Ladies,
I am 17 weeks pregnant after having 2 mc's! But I don't feel pregnant other than i am exhausted and a sore lower back, is this normal has anyone else experienced this? At my 13w scan everything was fine saw our baby moving and everything was fine but I am petrified I am going to go for my 20w scan to be told there is no heartbeat I am stressing out over it! I mentioned this to my doctor yesterday and she said I need to wait for my next scan! So really looking for so people who have been in the same boat 😔

Hi @Rmac90, I'm 17+4 and feel completely the same. I am convinced that everything will go wrong at my next scan and i'll be told the baby isn't there anymore. I can only hope things get better for you as it is a horrible feeling. Have you thought about getting a private scan before your 20 week?
I have type 2 diabetes so have been going to my hospital anti-natal nearly every week for special clinics or to see the diabetic nurse. Because of this I have to focus so much on the diabetic stuff (I didn't know I was diabetic before I got pregnant) that the pregnancy becomes even more of a worry and not the fun experience I thought it would be.
Could you ask to see your midwife to have the heart listened to at least?

Hi @livloves87 I paid for a private scan before my 13w so I can't really afford another, I have an ante-natal appt next Monday so Hopefully they are a bit more reassuring :) do they let you hear the heart beat at those appts? Sorry to hear you are feeling the same! Who knew being pregnant would be such a worrying time!! I have my next scan on the 26th but time just seems to be dragging at the minute! :( xx

Hey @Rmac90 I'm 20 weeks but I was in your shoes just a few weeks ago. I wasn't feeling sick and even though I had a little bump I definitely didn't 'feel' pregnant which gave me a lot of anxiety!

I also felt like waiting until my next scan (which is tomorrow) was an age away so at the next antenatal appt I had I tried to explain how I was feeling although it felt completely ridiculous to say I didn't feel pregnant. The doctor was really understanding and very reassuring, she said it's normal to feel a bit deflated as you focus so much on getting to the first scan then it seems like nothing happens even though there's lots going on!!

I asked if we could listen to the heartbeat just to put my mind at ease and she was very happy to do so, she even said I could record the sound on my phone. Now when I'm feeling a bit anxious (because honestly that feeling doesn't totally go away) I listen to that recording and it makes me feel so much better!

Unfortunately I can't recommend a way to make that feel go away because it doesn't but I would 100% recommend talking about it, even if it is just to your mum or someone on MN! It's so much better to get it out there and you're not being silly, it's totally normal to feel this way. I started to feel proper movement last week which helped ease the anxiety, movement = happy baby! :)

Hope things start to look up and that your scan comes around quickly. Here if you need someone to talk to! xx

Hey @MummyBear405 thank you for replying! Hopefully everything goes well at your scan tomorrow :)

When I go to my ante-natal appt on Monday I will mention it to her and hopefully she lets me hear the heartbeat :) my midwife is on holiday now so I cant contact her. The pregnancy unit is not helpful either they just make you feel like you are overreacting and wasting their time! I don't really have a bump either although I have put on weight :( and people at work are not helping by saying "aww when I was 17 weeks my bump was quiet big" so then it just makes me over think the stuff I am already overthinking! Xx

Hey @Rmac90 I'm so sorry for your previous losses. I am the same as you, had an MMC (partial molar at 12 weeks) and an early MC after that. Now 14 weeks pregnant and terrified, even though the 12 week scan looked good.

I went to the midwife at 13+4 and asked her to listen to the hb because I couldn't stand the wait between 12 and 20 week scans. She did and let me record it! It's not as reassuring as a scan, but there was less anxiety involved and she said I can come back in two weeks and listen again. Definitely worth asking Xxx.

Oh, I also wanted to add that I haven't felt pregnant this whole time really, so I completely understand what you mean! Hoping it gets better once movement starts.

I’m 39 weeks and only know I’m pregnant because I can feel him move and I have a big bump. Had no “usual” symptoms as such just the odd leg cramp, twinge or a couple of days I needed a nap. Baby and me are perfectly healthy and low risk.

Also I had the same comments of how small my bump is and people seem to think it’s popped out of nowhere. Just smile, nod and ignore as the size of the bump doesn’t mean much

Hey @sadtoday21 so sorry for your loses to! Who said being pregnant was easy! I was at my midwife 2 weeks ago but she wouldn't let me heat the heartbeat as "she doesn't like doing it before 16w" shes now on holiday for 2 weeks! So by time she is back it will be round about my scan time, time is passing so slowly at the minute its the worst :( xx

Hello @EscapeTheOrdinary congratulations! I don't want a big bump i just want to feel like I am pregnant lol! People that dont know im pregnant will just think I have put on weight :)

If I hadn’t told anyone I would have easily got to 30+ weeks with people just thinking I had started to put on weight. I have a bump to birthday diary and still not filled in the “when was the first time someone asked if you were pregnant” bit as it’s not happened yet I was allowed to listen to the heartbeat at 16 weeks but she listened with a cone thing before the Doppler just to be sure she could find it. Hopefully you will get the opportunity at your appointment Monday. Have your phone ready to record it!

Adding in to that my bump is huge people just don’t notice it!

Hey, I'm 16 weeks but feeling the same. I'm overweight so not showing at all, some days I feel like I'm just making it up!!! Sorry your unit are not being helpful, you'd think they'd understand how you feel given history. Even my GP (let's just say, she's not a model of empathy normally) said to ask if I have questions as it's my first so I wouldn't know what's normal. Hoping you'll get to hear the heartbeat and feel reassured x

I had a lot of anxiety during my pregnancy and started paying for lots of private scans just for reassurance. My dh and I had expected to have issues conceiving and then it happened in the first month , so I just felt disbelief the whole way through. I was really open about it with my midwife and after week 24 she let me come in weekly to just listen in to baby's heartbeat. Set my mind at rest and was good for my anxiety ( and thus baby I suppose ) . I would recommend speaking to your MW about it perhaps :)

It's normal not to show until 20 weeks or even 26 weeks.

It's also normal to not "feel pregnant" in the second trimester. It's a weird time.

I'm 17+6 with number 2. I didn't feel my first baby move until 24 weeks! I haven't felt this baby move yet. I had a private scan last week so I know she's fine, but otherwise I would barely know I'm pregnant - apart from tiredness I'm not getting any symptoms.

The reason midwives don't always check for the heartbeat this early is because it can be very difficult to find, and if they don't find it then that generates more anxiety.

The likelihood of having a miscarriage after a normal 12 week scan is very low.