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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

21 years old, 4 weeks pregnant and terrified! HELP!

11 replies

hmfair54 · 10/09/2019 09:17

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting on anything like this but I just felt like I needed a bit of an outlet. I found out I was pregnant with my first 2 days ago and I've had mixed emotions ever since - on one hand have been really excited and on the other absolutely terrified to the point where I'm not sure I even want to go through with it. I'll be laughing about it one minute and in floods of tears and hyperventilating the next. Are these drastic mood changes normal?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we have recently bought our first house together so I'm fortunate to be in a good position for someone my age. We both are also in full time work with fairly good pay, so money shouldn't be too much of an issue (although it is still a worry for me).

BF was absolutely over the moon when I told him (he is 26 so a little older and a lot more of his friends are starting to settle down than mine) and says he isn't scared or nervous about it and that it will be fine (!). I haven't plucked up the courage to tell my mum yet even though I think she'll be fine with it, but am planning to do it tonight. BF wants to tell his family but I know how excited they'll get and I don't want to tempt fate with it being so early on.

Basically, I'm just an emotional wreck. I've always been very maternal and couldn't imagine my life without having children but I honestly didn't think it would happen like this. I'm a fairly anxious person and overthink and worry about everything. Am I worrying for no reason? Does anybody actually feel ready when they find out? Confused

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Clementara21 · 10/09/2019 09:25

Congratulations! Yes, it's terrifying for most people, especially when it comes unexpectedly, but it sounds as if you are in a good place with practical support and finance, and you will be fine once you get used to the idea!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 10/09/2019 09:28

I felt the same and I was 33 when I got pregnant!I dont thi I any of it seems really until the baby is here.Congratulations,I'm sure your mum will be excited too.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 10/09/2019 09:28

Seems real

inwood · 10/09/2019 09:31

If it's what you want go for it and congratulations!

However, you don't have to if you don't want to.

BogglesGoggles · 10/09/2019 09:32

Everyone reacts to pregnancy in their own way and your emotions aren’t always what you expect. So long as you are doing what is right for you I wouldn’t worry too much about emotional fluctuations (which could easily be hormonally driven anyway).

hmfair54 · 10/09/2019 09:54

Thanks so much for your kind words everyone, wasn't expecting so many responses so soon!Smile I'm sure once I've told a few people and I've been to docs I'll feel much better about it - think it will feel more real in a way. I have a way of getting worked up about things that never turn out to be as bad as I imagine (bit like the dentist I suppose!) so I'm trying to tell myself that it will all be okay in the end and to stop worrying so much haha

OP posts:
PepsiLola · 10/09/2019 11:12

I got pregnant with my first at 25, my DH was 29. Honestly I felt exactly the same as you, in fact I think I went through the same process with my second pregnancy at 28!

Initial fear/excitement/upset etc. I think it lasted until after 12 weeks when I told everyone and started talking about my feelings out loud.

Loti92 · 10/09/2019 16:55

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

laurenluke2017 · 10/09/2019 17:54

I was in the same boat as you hun. Enjoy it, I was 23 when I fell pregnant. I'm now 25 with a 11 month beautiful baby boy!

laurenluke2017 · 10/09/2019 17:55

Forgot to add my DH is 27, but he was 25 when I first fell pregnant!

PoppingOneOutIn2020 · 10/09/2019 17:59

I'm 21 weeks pregnant now.
I was 22 when I found out, 23 now.

It was entirely planned and had been trying for 7 months. And I still had the "what the fuck have I done?" Moment when i first saw the test... I still occasionally sit down in a world of my own and have panicky moments where I'm not sure if it's the right thing or if I'll be able to cope.

But its getting less often, I'm getting more and more excited and anxious to meet her.

It is perfectly normal and realistic to feel the way you do, it's a huge commitment and something that is so life changing that it would be even weirder if you weren't scared at all and was 'totally ready'

We have no idea what to expect, no matter how many mum and dads tell you different things, we all do things differently and will have a different story to tell in so many years time.

Enjoy it and congratulations:)

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