So I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago. I have two children already, one is six years old and my youngest is 6 months. It was a complete shock and due to contraception failing us.
Me and my partner don’t know what to do right now and we’re really struggling with a decision. He says he wants to keep it but whatever I decide to do he will be there for me. I want to keep it also (as it’s my child) but know aswell it’s not very realistic. We are stuck in a 2 bedroom flat on the top floor with no lift so we already have to drag the pram down. We have tried to move out together (as at the moment me and my partner have separate places we rent) and though ideally it would save us money, the benefit system doesn’t make that easy and I can’t work at the moment due to health reasons, I really hope to soon though.
We also could not afford another child as if your in the U.K. it’s a “two child limit” on tax credits though I know we’d still get child benefit?. My partner works full time and has 2 children with someone else he supports. (Blended family lol and that’s a whole other story 🙄)
I’ve told my doctor and referred myself to a service called BPAS and I’ve had a consultation. I asked for counselling and they can only provide over the telephone which I don’t feel comfortable about but hey. I also phoned Marie Stopes but they don’t provide counselling in my area which is frustrating. I only need someone to talk to about my situation so I can make the right choice.
I haven’t spoken to friends and family and whilst they have always been supportive I feel like their personal opinions wouldn’t help me at all and is not what I need right now.
I’ve been thinking about an open adoption but I don’t think anyone would support me with that.
I went through a termination when I was 17 due to sexual abuse and that really messed my mental health up and I’m scared the same thing could happen again.
I just really don’t know what to do right now and feel really alone.