Pregnant after miscarriage .... handhold

[Shelbustotherescue]

I could really do with a mn hand hold

I'm an old mumsnetter who has re-registered

I am 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant, after suffering my third miscarriage in June this year.

I am being looked after by the recurrent miscarriage clinic and early pregnancy clinic, but I am driving myself insane

I am booked in for 6 week scan next Thursday but I cannot wait that long, the anxiety of not knowing what's happening is killing me

I should be so happy and excited but I can't relax, I am paranoid of every twinge, I'm going to the toilet every hour just to make sure I'm not bleeding, I can't sleep properly, I'm over analysing how my boobs are feeling.

The clinic have said they cannot do anything before 6 weeks and that I need to talk to people about it.

Has anyone been in this position before ? Who can hold my hand and help me cope with my anxiety

I had the same anxiety and still do after I suffered miscarriage. I was so paranoid and every twinge or cramp or anything I was over analysing. I eaking at night worrying as well. I saw my doctor and midwife and then ended up going to the EPU to get a really early scan for my own piece of mind. I'm still so anxious and had a private scan last weekend as i thought something was wrong due to being so sick with hyperemesis. I'm now counting the days to my 12 week scan praying everything is ok.
It's hard not to worry but im trying my best to take one day at a time. Big hugs to you. Hang in there.

Could you see your gp or local mental health services for support with your anxiety? Unfortunately this is going to be something you will need to cope with throughout the whole pregnancy and it sounds like you might need some help. I completely sympathise as I will be talking about this when I meet my midwife. I've had two early scans and am still worried. I was in such a state before my scan this morning that my DH doesn't want me to go for another early scan

Also there are some lovely groups on here for people who are pregnant after miscarriage and I have got a huge amount of support there. I'm on the one called the penguin huddle if you want to look for it xxx

Thank you for your replies.

I understand what they're saying about they can't scan me before 6 weeks as if they don't see anything because it's too early, it will effect me more and cause potentially unnecessary anxiety but waiting another week feeling like this feels like a life time.

They have said they will scan me at 6,8,10 and 12 weeks but I just can't imagine getting to that point. I've had my recurrent tests all come back okay and I'm trying to cling on to that and the fact that at this moment, I'm not bleeding, but the toilet obsession is going to mess my head more

I'm also scared that I'm never going to be able to enjoy this pregnancy, that my previous loses have robbed me of the chance to have a happy pregnancy.

Firstly - congratulation that you are pregnant, really hold onto that amazing feeling. Not feeling happy is completely understandable after what you have been through, but remember this is a completely different pregnancy.

I experienced a miscarriage in February and am now in my first trimester. I know what you are going through. It feels like the longest stretch of time. It's brilliant that you are being scanned so frequently and that you are under expert care. Take each scan as an incredible milestone and hopefully each time some of the anxiety should ease.

Be kind to yourself. I wish you the best of luck x

Congratulations! I sadly lost my first pregnancy at just 8 weeks back in December and am currently 18+5 with a little girl due in January. I know what you're going through, it's so hard to relax and believe it is real. Take one day at a time, try to forget the negative stuff and focus on enjoying your pregnancy. It's especially hard in the early first trimester when you're waiting for scans but I'm glad to hear you're getting scanned every 2 weeks, that's quite manageable. I had an early scan at 7+5 and then my next one wasn't until 13 weeks which felt like a life time! Hopefully the days fly by until you can get reassured by your 6 week scan, there isn't anything to see on a scan before that. Feel free to message me if you want to vent or need a sympathetic ear x

Thank you all for replying.

I am trying to enjoy it but it's so hard when everything revolves around symptom spotting - especially as I probably look like a crazy person grabbing my boobs constantly just to make sure they still hurt

I am hoping that the next week flies by but I have suspicions it's going to drag, just don't want to worry myself into a state and then I lose the baby because of that

I've also had 3 miscarriage and now have a 15 week old little girl.
I was like you at the start, and go be honest it didn't get any easier.
I had scans at 6,8,10 & 12 weeks and after each one I would relax for a couple of days and then start to worry again.
I spent 9 months worrying every time I went to the toilet that there would be bleeding. I panicked when I had less symptoms some days. When I started to feel movements I would panic if she didn't move for a couple of hours. It was honestly so stressful.
I don't have any advice of how to stop worrying as I think after losing babies you will always worry about this one. But I do regret being so scared as I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I always hoped I would. If there is anyone you can speak to I would do it, I wish I had done something.

I have been in your position and someone said to me:

"Look, sometimes shit happens and sometimes it doesn't. Don't create your own shit to ruin the good times you could be enjoying!"

Brutal, but true. If you remind yourself of this, you will focus on appreciating the good things in life when they're happening.

It can be difficult to remain positive as a parent but it's really important for you and your child/ren so now's as good a time as any to start :)

Remember that sometimes symptoms come and go a bit too so try not to over analyse everything as you will drive yourself mad. At around 8 weeks my boobs hurt less and I stopped feeling as sick so panicked and booked a private scan and all was fine! Fingers crossed all goes well for you this time x

I've been in your situation. My coping method was to just pretend it wasn't happening and busy myself with something else. When I found out I was pregnant with DD I was also under the recurrent miscarriage clinic. I took 5mg folic acid and progesterone pessaries as prescribed. Fortunately we were in the process of a house renovation which provided plenty of distraction. Is there anything you could do to help keep busy over the next 2 weeks?

Hi everyone,

Thought I would come back on and let you know that I had my scan today, saw a teeny tiny baby and yolk sac but more importantly - a heart beat !!! Baby is looking perfect for dates and everything is positive, feel like a huge weight has been lifted !

Next scan is 26/9 but I feel so much more confident

Lovely news! Got everything crossed for you for a nice uncomplicated pregnancy! There's a pregnant after recurrent miscarriage thread somewhere that I used to be on, some lovely supportive ladies on there.

Hi,

I had a missed miscarriage 4 months ago, only found out at the 13 WK scan & had to have a D&C. I've just found out I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. I'm feeling twinges on my left side just below belly button.. also when I pull my tummy in.. so of course I'm extremely nervous & worried.. is this normal? As I never got anything like this last time. I understand being in the right side is normal.. but the left? Any off you ladies experience anything similar?*