Pregnant with 2nd child not sure how I feel

[kav26]

I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant. I'm 38 and already have a 15 year old ds from previous relationship and a 6 month old dd.
Me and DP decided we would like another, we would like our daughter to have a sibling to grow up with. Due to my age we decided we'd like them close in age.
We both agreed we wouldn't actively ttc we would just "see what happens". Due to my age I didn't think it would happen this quick. Now I'm pregnant again I'm really not that happy and not sure we've done the right thing. I lay awake at night worried how I'll cope with 2 DC 13 months apart plus a teenager.
I just don't feel no connection st all with this baby yet, also worried I never will.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation?

Also a termination is out of the question. I had one 9 years ago and totally regret it

I fell pregnant with my Dd when my ds was 6 months. I went through months of depression and anxiety and dread. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Don't get me wrong, it's tough going with 2 close in age but at very different stages as babies but they are best buddies and you will cope! Please don't get stressed about it, you will lose so much of your pregnancy that you should be enjoying. It will work, you will cope and those babies will seem like they've always been together

Well it's done now OP and if termination isn't an option then I think I'd just take a deep breath and take the long view. Anyone with two close in age will tell you that the first year or two can be hard, but then it quickly gets easier, because they're so close in age that you're not mired in nappies, sleepless nights, teething and potty training for long. Given your age too I think that in the long run you'll be happy that a) you got pregnant so easily and b) you got on with it. Congratulations

Shouldn't your title be pregnant with third DC

I had this with dd2. I'd had a few mc in between and then just felt flat through out the whole pregnancy. Once she was born it lifted instantly.

Thanks @autopilotmomma I have days where I feel happy and excited but then I have days full of dread and worry.

I was so happy and excited when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter after 2 losses. I just feel so guilty I don't feel this happiness with this baby, I really want to feel connected to it, then hopefully the worry will ease off

Thanks @zafferana I really am thankful I got pregnant so quickly and everything seems good so far.

@BrokenLogs I realised that about 2nd not 3rd after I'd posted it

I have the exact age gap, it was honestly fine. They are super close, one is in year one and the other starts reception tomorrow so they will be in the same class at school. They were thrilled on settling in days and are happy to be back together again after preschool. They play really well and people often think they are twins. I found what really helped me when there were Young was getting a good sleep routine quickly so they napped together. Am sure it will all be fine we were very the same in didn't expect to start trying and for me to declare I'm pregnant 2 weeks later!

I'm similar to you. I have a 20 year old, 14 month old and I'm pregnant. I also worry about having 2 little ones at the same time but then I think to
myself it'll all sort itself out.

Obviously we are both busy and preoccupied with our existing children so this pregnancy is very different. I'm a little detached but that's because I don't have the time to focus on all the changes to my body. I'm also knackered from parenting the 14 month old.

I think we'll both be ok. We will love the new baby and juggle our lives. We just can't over plan right now. X

@wavecatcher thanks for your reassurance. Sounds lovely how close your little ones are. Hope mine are the same. Yes I will have to get a good routine in place.

@avocadoincident yes we really are in the same boat and everything you've said I totally agree. The business with the little one prob is taking my mind off this pregnancy, maybe that's why I feel detached at the minute.
We will get through it, we have no choice and I suppose everything will fall into place once the baby's are here.
Congratulations xx

And congratulations to you. Are you due in Feb? Why not join a MN thread for people expecting a baby in Feb. It might help get the excitement flowing.

I'm in a March one and it's nice seeing people's scan photos now

Sorry I meant April not Feb.

Here's a link for an April thread:

April 2020 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3658988-april-2020

Or if you are May:

May 2020 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3670557-May-2020

A different one for April:

April 2020 Babies - Thread 2! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3677608-april-2020-babies-thread-2

A second May one:

Due May 2020 - could do with a buddy! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3682629-Due-May-2020-could-do-with-a-buddy