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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant after a stillbirth - This has been a terrible day

48 replies

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/08/2007 21:27

I lost a little girl two years ago at 24 weeks.All was well and one day movements just stopped.A scan confirmed the worse and I delivered her a few days later.

I am currently in my 24 week of another pregnancy. I knew this would be a difficult week to get through and I have lots of appointments and a scan to reassure me but today was awful.

Baby has to date been very active. This morning he was very quiet and I am usually woken by lots of movemnents.I drove to work and went about my daily appointments waiting for a movement and none came. By lunch I was so worried I came home.

On the drive home I had already in my mind been told he was dead and was arranging another funeral and telling my dd that she was not going to be a big sister (again)

I walked in and went for a lie down and THANK GOD I felt a movement and then another.

Still a bit less than usual but feel ok now and seeing midwife in morning.

I am finding this pregnancy increasingly difficuly and wonder if I get to 40 weeks what state I will be in by then.

Has anyone else had a similar experience and how did you get through it?

OP posts:

Habbibu · 07/08/2007 22:34

Hi CP,

So sorry you've had an awful day. We lost our first baby too (at 21 weeks), and was very nervous through next pregnancy. Our little girl arrived safe and well, and is a real joy. Sorry if you already know this, but the SANDS forum (www.sandsforum.org) is brilliant - the "Next pregnancy" section saved my sanity many many times.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/08/2007 22:34

I can feel movements as I type but little ones.Think I need to (warning TMI coming up) have a BIG poo

my mw and I have discussed counselling and I said i would do it after 24 weeks as I did not want to go through it all then to loose this baby too

if that makes sense?

i am a little worried about how i will feel when/if baby is born,think i will be frightened to look

it helps that i am having a boy as if it was another girl it might have made things difficult and I know that might not make sense

OP posts:

Habbibu · 07/08/2007 22:41

Pretty much anything you feel right now makes sense. It is such a hard thing to go through, and the emotions you feel are so complicated it is often very difficult to make sense of them to yourself, let alone express them to someone else.

On movements - I think sometimes the baby moves to face your back, so that they are kicking towards the placenta, and that way you can't feel the movements as much.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 07/08/2007 22:48

I know my placenta is at front so is acting a bit like a cushion (as well as a little layer of my own cushioning)

thanks for all kind words and support.im off to bed now and will keep you updated x

OP posts:

Habbibu · 07/08/2007 22:50

Ah - makes sense. Sleep well - hope you get a couple of good rib kicks!

RGPargy · 07/08/2007 22:56

CP - so sorry to hear of your loss.

I also have an anterior placenta as well as my own padding, so know what it's like to not feel as many movements as one would like.

Dont worry tho, i'm sure you MW will reassure you that everything is fine tomorrow.

RG - 24+0

margoandjerry · 07/08/2007 23:08

Hi CP, so sorry to hear about your awful day.

I had anterior placenta too and it does make things quite stressful - people were advising me to do kickcharts and I never felt anything! I mean the odd squirm but I never felt constant movement and went hours and possibly even days without feeling her. I could never get her going with coffee or juice or anything.

They tried to get her to move during the 20 week scan as they needed to get her to turn so they could take some measurement. I jumped around for an hour and ate a mars bar and some fizzy drink. Went back twice more - nothing!

This was my fourth pg - three others ended through miscarriage or therapeutic termination, so I understand a little of your anxiety.

All I can tell you is my daughter is here now - nearly 10mo and fine. Lazy as hell, just as she was inside!

Also, I was saying to my mum last week - now she's here, all the pain of what happened seems quite far away. You never forget it, obviously, but when your little boy arrives, your fears will subside and you will be able to enjoy your boy.

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 07/08/2007 23:15

Oh CP - I hope you can get through the rest of your pg without too much worry. I'm glad the hospital has been supportive.

Thinking of you x

tortoiseSHELL · 08/08/2007 08:12

Ds2 was an anterior placenta, and it definitely reduced the number of movements felt.

I think my best rule of thumb in pregnancy is if YOU'RE worried, then get checked out by the mw/hospital. Never mind whether you think you SHOULD be worried, if you ARE worried then it is better for the baby if you're checked - often mums know best when something isn't quite right anyway, and when you've had a traumatic and tragic experience with another pg, they honestly won't mind, and it is better for the baby for you to be relaxed.

Hope you have a good day today. x

Marina · 08/08/2007 09:34

Hope all goes well today CP. I had an anterior placenta and plenty of padding too, and from what others say on here, this is a very effective way of making the baby's movements less apparent

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 08/08/2007 18:18

Thanks for all lovely messages.

I went to see midwife this morning and all is well. She said from the location of heartbeat the baby has moved so that his back is facing my tummy.Thats why I am having less movements.She put the monitor on and said he was actually very active so again reassuring.

Today was going to be the worse day is it is the exact time movements stopped last time. She told me to take rest of week of and de stress as I told her I have felt some tightening pains right across bump and she said thats anxiety.

I have a reassurance scan on Monday so will be glad when reached that as it will be a huge milestone for me.

Thanks again for kind words and support.Its really appreciated
x

OP posts:

Nemo2007 · 08/08/2007 18:22

Chocolate peanut huge hugs to you. I think I remember your mc as I was due with DD1 at a similair time. I am glad you saw mw and all is well, can completely understand your anxiety over this pregnancy as I am sure all the medical professionals around oyu can!!

womba1 · 08/08/2007 18:47

My first child (James) was stillborn at 30 weeks and i've since given birth to 2 beautiful healthy dc's. My first pregnancy after losing James was horrific, not physically, but mentally. Every day i'd convince myself that it would be the day i'd lose the baby and i resigned myself to the fact. I had all the normal scans and tests but wasn't offered anything extra as a means to reassure me. I felt like i was going out of my mind for the whole 9 months. However, i went on to have my ds and afterwards, i vowed never to put myself through pregnancy again.

18 months ago, i had my dd and i personally felt very different about the whole pregnancy thing. However, the care i recieved was completely different and it didn't really go a long way to making me feel calm or relaxed. Ny consultant wanted to see me every 2 weeks, i had fortnightly scans and my mw saw me weekly. I am grateful for all their care but it put me on edge. I probably sound quite selfish and i know i was lucky to have had people looking out for me and my baby, but i just wanted some kind of normality. I didn't want constant questions, scans, examinations, proddings etc.... but, again, i had a healthy happy outcome so i shouldn't complain.

Chocolatepeanut.. i know exactly how you're feeling and i got through it by leaning heavily on my loved ones. I don't know what else to add, other than all my thoughts and best wishes are with you and your little one.

Califrau · 08/08/2007 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 08/08/2007 19:02

They help Califrau more than you know

OP posts:

faireymoo · 08/08/2007 19:14

Ahhh CP I so feel for you. I had an anterior placenta and it really makes a difference to what you feel. Sounds like you've got a cheeky little monkey inside doing his/her level best to scare you.
((((((((((((((H))))))))))))))))) and try and chill out and relax

fawkeoff · 08/08/2007 19:21

i was rading your thread chocolate, i have not suffered a still birth but i have had 3 m/c and it sent me a neurotic wreck through my pregnancies.Have u thought about getting a sonicaid thing from argos that u strap to bump and you can hear babys heartbeat...it also made my baby move a bit more while it was on.It could help u with ur anxieties x

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 08/08/2007 22:58

Im glad it went well today. good luck with your scan x

Mommalove · 09/08/2007 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dalilaa · 05/09/2007 16:30

Hi choclatepeanut, I know you from another thread, you have given me so much support and encouragement through loosing my little boy at 36 weeks I just wanted to give some support back to you and to say you will do it, this little one is going to be okay, just take 1 day at a time. I can't imagine how difficult it must be, ironically after you loose a baby all you can think of is carrying another but i am so aware of how difficult it must be. I have had alot of support from homeopathy, both from remedies as well as the councilling aspect. I hope the scan gives you some reassurance.. will they induce you early? lots of love and support from me. xx

bundle · 05/09/2007 16:38

hi chocolatepeanut

I missed your thread before. I do hope you're ok, xxxx

Original poster

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 06/09/2007 19:29

im ok thanks ladies

28 weeks and v tired

going to try and hang on till the end as soooo want a live natural birth

OP posts:

katendmom · 06/09/2007 19:52

Hi CP, I too can related - we lost our baby girl when I was like 35 weeks. We later on found out that she had DS. Goes without saying that it was the most difficult time but like you - we've decided to give it another chance.

My second pregnancy was as nerve-raking as you can imagine. We opted to do an amnio and while I was really worried about mc - when we got back the results and found out that the baby was fine, it really helped us to get through the rest of the months.

The great news - we now have a wonderful bundle of joy. He is turning 19 months next week and is nothing but sunshine.

Hang in there sister! I will keep you in my thoughts and I bet in a few short months you'll be writing to all of us about how sleep deprived you are because of your little sweetheart!

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