a single parent before the baby is even here :(

[brookelopez]

I feel really really low about the whole situation. I also feel embarrassed and ashamed for even still going through with my pregnancy when I'll be doing everything alone and he 'might' help a bit after the baby is here. I'm 13+4 and I know i could get an abortion but I love my baby already. I just feel like this shouldn't be my life

Been there it’s difficult but when you see the littlest face you will know it was all worth it

I'm right there with you I told my do he told me to get rid I said no I've not heard from him since that was 3 months ago xx

I know it's not the same but I was a single parent from when my son was 6 months old. It is hard, but worth it. I have had a second child 7 years later with a supportive partner and it's just as hard! You and your child will have a bond like no other, and nothing else will matter. Do you have family to help you out if you feel you need it? You are entitled to feel low but I promise you it is all worth it.

He's the one that's going to lose out, you'll have the lovely relationship with your baby, he won't.

I've done it twice op. Dd 15 has never had any contact with her dad and his family. Their choice. Ds 16 months has a great relationship with his dad but we split when I was approx 4 months pregnant. I also have dd8. I was with her dad for ten years and married but hes still not a hands on dad. It's hard in some ways but not in others. Hopefully your childs father will step up and be a good dad. I wouldn't change any of my choices. Once you see your baby it will all make sense.

I'm in the same situation. I'm now 20+1 and he walked away when I was 5 weeks. I've heard absolutely nothing from him since. I've tried to make contact but he's ignored me. It's been really difficult but I just take it one day at a time. You'll be absolutely fine without him. Xx

thanks all. I've never felt this low in all my life. We found out I was pregnant and it all changed. we were solid and then he started picking me apart. he's a completely different person to what i thought. it's like all he's bothered about is going out with his friends and not including me in anything.
I'm dreading going to more scan appointments and buying baby things alone. I can't believe this is my life now

Hi hun so sorry to hear your story :(
I’m 22weeks tomorrow and my partner and I split nearly 2 weeks ago, he was quite abusive and I had to get out.
Although I’m scared to do it on my own I’ve got so much support from friends and family I will never be alone! I have down days and then I feel her kick and I remember why I’m doing this, you have two choices you sit and get yourself down and depressed or you keep yourself busy with positive things because baby is coming either way!!
Feel free to message me hun if you want some support, you will be fine I promise!! Xx

I can sympathise with you @brookelopez. Similar boat. The father was extremely scared and instead of dealing with it like a man he was an absolute d@!k! Said some awful things. I’ve been keeping him in the loop with things and I told him that we were having a son after the scan. The last couple of weeks I have started replying to his messages. I have agreed to meet him next week. I would love nothing more for all this to work out but it will certainly take time and I just can’t bounce back to how we were. But if we can get on for our son that would be great for now! I know I’ll be ok though with or without him!

I took my best friend to all my appointments. He’s not been to anything. He’s only himself to blame and he’s the one that’s got to live with the guilt as this could have been so different! Will just have to see how it works out now.

Do you have good support from family and friends? Xx

Handhold! Gave birth on my own
In Australia as ex left me for a 22 year old french student at the start of my pregnancy.

Do you have family and friends to support you? I had a perinatal psychologist help me and I wouldn't be here without her, I also went on pregnancy safe antidepressants

I do have friends and family but im so embarrassed and ashamed of the situation I've got myself in.
he did say he would help pay for baby stuff so I messaged him tonight about how we are going to split it. no reply and I broke down in front of my mom.
the way he's spinning it to others is that I am mental and controlling. but this only came up as soon as we found out I was pregnant.

I'm already on 100mg sertraline and have been for a few months but I am on the edge tonight

and to top it all off I've just started gushing with bright red blood.

@brookelopez I know what you mean. I felt the same but eventually I came to terms with it. I’ve only just started telling people and it still feels odd! That’s very unfair that he’s telling people that :( xx

I spent last night in hospital as I started bleeding, and had huge clots coming out. Baby is fine and they checked my cervix- closed but no explanation of why it happened.

I text my ex about all of this and he didn't reply at all. He read every message. I'm so angry with him.

@Starlight84 it's a horrible feeling isn't it. I feel like I've failed somewhere and it's embarrassing.

@brookelopez I’m so sorry that you went through that and he didn’t get in touch :( I’m glad all is well with baby though. Hope you’re ok today xx

@brookelopez glad both you and the baby are ok. It sounds like you're really in the throws of it at the moment. It does get easier I promise. Your priority right now needs to be your health and the babies health. It might be worth your while checking out some counselling - this was my saviour. I went to a peri natal psychologist so she helped me throughout the birth.

thank you both. I really appreciate it. I have blocked his number to stop myself begging him to care.

@giantnannyknickers did you get a referral for counselling? I'm unsure how to go about asking for professional help. also scared incase they think I'm mad and want to take the baby once it's born

@brookelopez I really sympathize what your going throu it's horrible I'm so hard reading your comments are like what I'm going through we found out I was expecting he told me to get rid not heard from him since I went to hospital last month bleeding I messaged him to tell him and he blocked me I was told I'd misscarried only to find out 6 weeks later they was wrong it's horrible going through all this alone but we will be stronger for it in the end and I just think it's his loss not mine

@brookelopez I got a referral through my GP and went on a mental health care plan and it was a god send. The psychologist also put me onto local support groups for single mothers which you could check out.

It's so hard but you really have to get practical
And just focus on what needs to be done and don't get distracted by his drama. There's lot of us out here who've had babies on our own and come out of it tougher and stronger. It's a hard hard slog, but it's so rewarding once you meet bubs.

I started volunteering during my pregnancy and it really reminded me things could be a lot worse and it was nice to give back too. So maybe try and see if there anything you could do just for you to pick you up a bit.

Are they going to monitor your pregnancy more now due to the bleed?