I can’t sleep with my husband

[Cauliflower82]

Hi everyone, just looking for some advice here or someone who has experienced the same kind of problems.
Since finding out I was pregnant I’ve found it really difficult to sleep in the same bed as my husband for various reasons. Heat, space and his snoring (albeit rather light, not heavy) keeps me awake for hours. I’m quite sore as well - hard tummy, gas and I’ve been through ivf and overstimulated so even at eleven weeks my ovaries are still incredibly swollen and painful.
He has been great by sleeping downstairs on occasion and sometimes I’ve taken myself downstairs if I wake up and just can’t nod back off.
I’m just worried this is a slippery slope and I love my husband and want to be near him during the night as I suffer quite bad nightmares too.
We only have a double bed and maybe we should get a king size but with a baby on the way there’s probably bigger priorities.
Any suggestions? Or just suck it up?
Thank you all.

I stupidly posted this in 30 days only so I’m transferring it here to hopefully get more advice. Feel free to close my other post. Thanks.

I’m currently pregnant and not sleeping in same bed either, but we rarely do, even before this.
DH is an incredibly light sleeper and I’m a noisy sleeper! I see no reason why we should make each other miserable, sleeping separate has improved our relationship.
The difference here I guess is that we are fortunate enough to have a spare bed!

I’m sure once baby comes you’ll be able to go in together, if all of your problems are pregnancy related 😊

Me and my husband rarely sleep in the same bed because he snores loudly and sweats making the bed sheets soaking.

Last night he slept on the settee which has annoyed me because I will now have to get it steam cleaned.

I am 40 + 6 and haven't slept in the same bed as my husband for about 14 weeks now. We make sure though that we cuddle/have pillow talk each night then I move down to the spare room. It makes sense if you can't sleep, you don't have to sleep in the same bed to keep intimacy.

Hoping the rest of your pregnancy is a happy and healthy one. X

My husband has been spending the odd few nights in the spare room- probably about 5 a month. Tbh as much as I love him, as pregnancy goes on I value my space to sleep in much more and would like if he slept in there a bit more... we still cuddle before bed and in the morning.
I would definitely invest in a king bed if I were you, it does make a big difference.
We also bought a footstool/poof thing that folds out into a single bed which we’re going to have downstairs once the spare room is baby’s room- good for nights where baby is wide awake or where husband is annoying me!

I feel the same as you OP. We have a king size bed but I am 36+1 now and more recently have had to get up a couple of nights a week and move into the spare room just to have more room and I definitely sleep better when I do. Similarly to you I hate being away from him but just keep thinking this is short term really in the grand scheme of things and at this stage a good nights sleep is way more important. Do whatever you need to do! Especially if you’re only 11 weeks you have a long way to go and being exhausted the whole time isn’t ideal!! A king size bed probably would help though if you can afford it. But try not to worry I’m sure it would affect your relationship more if you were grumpy and tired all the time- there’s plenty of other ways to make sure you stay close. Good luck! X

I’m not sleeping in the same bed as my OH at the mo.. I’ve got HG and I cannot stand anyone close to me for long periods of time! I’m very restless overnight, sick, hot, get upset and I’d just disturb him. It’s only temporary, don’t worry. Even if it’s all pregnancy, it’s only 9 months.

I’d def recommenced a big bed. We upgraded to an EU king last year and it’s the best. So much more room! It’s also much better when our toddler inevitably hops in during the night!

When I was pregnant we didn't have a bed we just had a mattress on the floor but my SPD set in around 9 weeks which is bonkers early. It made getting up and down off the floor so painful. I started sleeping on our sofa until we got a bed frame but the sofa springs have sunk, it's a corner sofa and you can feel a support beam across your back. It's not nice.
Anyway, we got a bed, and by this time I was dreadfully pregnant. Not just woefully pregnant. And even though I was as round as round could be I was still a tummy sleeper and my hips needed to be splayed out or I'd not be able to walk the next day. This made sleeping with DH horrible. He was a space hogger for sure, and a snorer due to a deviated septum which he STILL won't go to the doctors about (ughhhh). Couple that with needing to pee all the time, hot flashes, quilt hogging, poor window seal and blustery winds I just about forgot what sleep was.

... Until we decided to top and tail.

I don't know why this worked so well but it worked so well we still sleep like this. My son is almost 5 month old. I am no longer pregnant (and good riddance, what a nightmare sensation), but the bed feels more spacious, I don't have snoring right in my ears, I'm not near the windows, I can put my feet wider apart and we haven't split up yet.

Regardless, what works for you works for you. Pregnancy is temporary. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people feel guilty for hating, some don't, but it doesn't last forever and sleep is but one small part of your life with your partner.

Well me and my other half live in separate houses and we’re ok so I don’t think you need worry

@BarleyG

What a good idea - I keep asking hubby to move into one of our rental properties but he keeps refusing.

A Canadian sized king sized bed, which might be a super king in the UK is the best thing ever. I would take out a mortgage to get one if necessary. Really.

Forgot. The other tip is having two twin sized duvets instead of one big one. Bliss. You can curl up in it or throw it off without impacting you partner.

We have been in separate rooms since about week 15 (on week 34 now). It's partly as DH is a shift worker so spends part of the week in the spare room anyway, but it's now every night due mostly to my awful snoring. That and it finds himself being pushed out the (king sized) bed by my pregnancy pillow and my need to roll around lots.

It works fine for us. We just make sure we make time to still spend together in bed before sleeping!