Pregnancy / dh moan

[MoonageDaydreamz]

So, I'm 35 weeks with dc3, and not having the greatest pregnancy, I'm indescribably tired, I'm physically not able to do much now, I've been a bit hormonal in my moods, and yesterday cried quite hysterically about something that is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I'm fully aware that at the moment I'm a bit of a burden, not very useful and not very easy to live with.

But is it unreasonable to expect a bit more sympathy from my dh? He gets irritable about having to do more with the kids, I WhatsApped him to say I've just been sick just now and had no response or checking I'm OK or need anything, just don't really get much tlc.

I just feel a bit sad that I'm just treated like an inconvenience and these last few weeks aren't cherished, esp as this will be my last pregnancy, he never strokes my stomach etc or gives me a cuddle.

Just wanted to have a little moan!

You are not un-useful! You're growing a human.

I can relate though. I'm 29 weeks and have listened to my husband huff and puff about how knackered he is and can I do this that and the other for him because he's tired from gardening.

Have you spoken to him about how you feel?

Yes it's rubbish isn't it :-(

No I haven't, I think it would lead to an argument, where he would just say he doesn't have the bandwidth to look after me as well with the kids, and everything else that needs doing.

He does do stuff for me, he will bring me drinks, and make my bed but it's just the lack of sympathy, or feeling loved. It's just a shame as although it's hard, we'll never have this time again when you can just feel the baby moving around etc.

I can relate, I was in a terrible mood with really bad back pain and running on 2 hours of sleep.. moody for one day and DH keeps bringing up how moody I am!

Yip I feel you.. My (x) DH disappeared constantly during a very difficult (much, much wanted) pregnancy in which I was very ill from day 1. I had to drive myself to hospital when I went into labour, slept and cried alone in the hospital for 2 days as I couldn't get a hold of him, he turned up when I had to be rushed in for an emergency section, stayed for a few hours after DS was born and resuscitated, bathed him once when back home and disappeared w a teenager (he's 45, she's 20) when DS was 18 months old. Men are just not the best at these things I suppose. I'm so sorry you feel unloved at this tender period of your life. Be sure that your unborn baby loves you and needs you, and they love the sound of your heartbeat from the inside and how your belly just wraps their mummy around them before your arms can. Feel free to moan, you are earning it! 🌸

I'm 22 weeks and my husband turns it into let's who feels the worse competition- he has no idea 🙄 my husbands not romantic either I wonder if it's because we have sropped ovulating lol

Did your husband want another baby? His lack of interest could be telling. Hope not. Perhaps he too is really finding it hard to cope with all that is happening. If he really is tired he will find it hard to sympathise with you. Would he under different circunstances offer comfort and tlc if you were out of sorts. You are both trying to deal with a lot just now, you have to look at the whole picture. Good Luck for the new arrival.

Thanks all. Yes the baby was planned and wanted by both of us.

We've both been very busy over the summer and it hasn't been very relaxing, we've both been stretched too thinly, which I'm sure is why he's now the way he is.

But he's dealing with the pressures we've had with perfect health and energy, whereas I have been doing everything I've had to do with much less energy and aches and pains, and just feeling emotionally less able to cope.

Will be easier when dc1 starts school next week but it just feels like such a shame that what should be a time of coming together just isn't. I probably wouldn't feel as sad about it if I didn't know it was my last pregnancy.

I'm also pregnant and have a toddler around. As I'm still early stages there's a lot I can physically do but tired and sickness doesn't help.

Sometimes DH does get frustrated why I have to rely on him but I try my best not to rely on him for MY needs (I'm just that kind of person--hate relying on people)

Also check how he is feeling. When I was pregnant with ds I noticed DH a little distant, when I spoke to him he said he felt a bit left out of the pregnancy and wanted to feel more emotionally involved

I've felt similarly in my last two pregnancies, (DC 2 and 3) got very little sympathy or tlc from DH and every time I moaned about feeling tired or aches and pains would be met with little to no response! It really got me down towards the end of my pg with DC3, but he's never been the most emotional or romantic type. He's not one to discuss feelings or to be especially sympathetic but I think he does realise how difficult it is even though he might not always say that. I'm now pregnant again with DC4 and have been feeling very unwell and struggling daily, it has been hard over the summer holidays. DH hasn't tended to me at all, but, he has been brilliant with the kids and the housework and taken over the tasks as much as he can when not at work without complaining. I've come to the realisation that he just doesn't have anything left to give for me at the end of the day which I understand as I have very little either after looking after 3 kids! It is hard when you're pregnant and emotional and exhausted though and you just want a bit of sympathy and a hug sometimes!