Boyfriend doesn’t like me

[Chicken101]

Hi,

Really need some advice, I talk to my friends but none of them really have any experience with this...
Anyway 25+2 with my first and oh isn’t interested in me anymore at all..
I feel like we’re morphing into friends and that he just plain doesn’t find me attractive anymore...
I’ve tried talking to him and I get the ‘oh you’re beautiful you’re lovely don’t be silly’
However I kid you not we have DTD 1 time since conception.

Helpppp

I think some men can feel weird having sex during pregnancy. They want to protect the baby.

The worth of the relationship shouldn't be based on whether you have sex or not.

It is actually not that unsual for men not to want to have sex during pregnancy. And it's normally absolutely no reflection on the woman, it's usually because they're worried about something bad happening or they feel weird having sex when their baby is in there.

@fonxey yeah I’m not basing ‘the worth of my relationship’ on sex? But thanks
I’m simply going through an entirely new experience and wanted to ask if anyone has been through it

I felt like this in my pregnancy and I dont have much real advice except it did get better. I felt like he didn't find me attractive, he felt a bit weird about trying it on with me especially heavily pregnant. Just keep talking to your partner and try and believe him, because the unattractive feeling will pass.

@InsertFunnyUsername ah thanks, i just never thought it’d be like this I guess, but everything is gonna be new during this time.
I’m glad to hear it got better for you, hoping for the same :)

I understand OP. I was adamant that was our life now. People say a relationship isn't based on sex, but for me it is. Granted not the biggest part of it but without it Id have a best friend who lived with me, which is great but you know

Me and my DP would go around in circles, I would bring it up which would make him not want to initiate, because it was like he was only doing it because I mentioned it. You get the drift, but honestly it should all work out in the end, dont let how you think he feels impact your relationship. Enjoy your pregnancy

@Chicken101, I'm 34+6 and I haven't really thought about it until I saw your thread but, my OH and I have been pretty much like best friends who live together since finding out I was pregnant but, to be honest I've loved it.

He usually has a really high sex drive, the doctor told him he has excess testosterone to thank for that and we used to have sex 4/5 times per week but, since becoming pregnant, we've only managed 4 times! I did ask him if he was okay with it and jokingly asked if he was having an affair to keep his sex drive occupied. He told me it genuinely hadn't been bothering him and he just understands that I'm usually quite uncomfortable and tired so, he didn't want to pester me. I also think he finds it just as unsexy as I did. He's got a bit of a gut on him recently himself and so our bellys slapping together is enough to put anyone off to be honest!

Also, bear in mind that us pregnant women are entirely paranoid and hormonal. I cried the other day because, I went out for breakfast and they undercooked my eggs.

Don't worry, I'm sure he loves you very much

xx

@frsttimemama I absolutely loved your response 😂 I guess it is part of my hormonal experience to think he doesn’t find me attractive anymore but it’s just crazy going from being extremely close for such a long time to just the odd peck!
But I guess I never thought of it as being weird for him with a baby being in there so maybe I should stop being so hard on him!
He is great in every other way and I’d never leave him but I guess it’s just a huge adjustment!!
He’s also put on a bit of weight that he’s calling his ‘dad bod’
So I guess I get what you’re saying there
Thanks for your response! Xx

Sorry you're going through this, it's tough having rough thoughts, worse when you're pregnant. Just to provide an alternative different slant...Is he feeling any additional pressure in addition to your pregnancy? About 6 years ago I went though exactly what you are describing and I cried most nights. I convinced myself that our relationship was over and I had mentally prepared for it. This went on for about 3 months. Then, he just snapped out of it and returned to normal. I then felt shock as I had already reached this place in my head and he had returned to how we were before his disconnection. I then felt able to discuss it with him (annoyed I didn't do it sooner) and turned out he was going through a bout of depression due to work overload, hence the lack of interest and engagement. Might not help at all, hope you work it out. X

@snowflakeeel yeah, thanks for that I guess it is similar to what we’re going through.. he is feeling the pressure about work and we’ve got a new house to do up and obviously he’s gonna be supporting us through my maternity leave from work (we’re pretty even Stevens with income currently)
When I’ve talked to him I still see part of the anxiety over it even though he says it’s fine.
I’m just feeling it extra because of my hormones but not feeling attractive comes with it doesn’t it?
Hopefully once we get through this things will return to normal! Just feeling a tad strained atm xx

I’m probably the weak link in my relationship in pregnancy. At no point last time did I ever feel like sex.. HG for 4 months then anaemia then I felt too uncomfortable! The same is happening this time, currently mid HG 😭

Towards the end, we tried to see if it would bring on labour but I’m not sure either of us enjoyed it, I felt so weird and baby was kicking away.. no no no!

Maybe have a chat to your other half and see how he’s feeling! I was quite upfront with mine & he was very understanding! You’ll find your sex life alters post baby too! But it all settles down eventually & life finds a new normal!

@bol87 bless you! Anaemia is the worst.
I know I’m definitely adjusting and I’ve never tried six whilst the baby is kicking so I guess that would be strange!
I wanted to know more so if any other partners didn’t feel comfortable DTD.
Probably because I’m feeling so unattractive I’m overthinking things definitely, just not nice to feel like things are drifting and me not being used to it :)

We have done the deed twice I think since finding out! I asked him if he was put off me and he said he still loves me and finds me attractive but can’t dtd knowing his in there. Last time was awkward with my bump getting in the way hoping we will go back to normal once his here!

@EscapeTheOrdinary ah that’s interesting! To be honest I wasn’t even showing when we last tried did the deed it was at the very beginning, I guess it’s just nice to feel wanted when you don’t feel so lovely and your body is changing so much!
I’m sure we’ll both bounce back and have a healthy relationship with our partners once again enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

I’m sure we will to @Chicken101! I am looking forward to getting my body back enjoy the rest of your pregnancy too!