Unexpectedly pregnant with #4

[MildDrPepperAddiction]

I'm a little in shock. I had fertility issues in the past and it took a long time for us to have our children. I never thought I'd be facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Don't get me wrong, I know that baby is loved already, but the practicalities of it are overwhelming me.

I've given away all our baby stuff and my maternity clothes. I'm self employed now so no maternity pay. We need a bigger car.

I had a tough delivery with #1 (forceps with 3td degree tear) emergency C-section with #2 and planned C-section with #3. The thought of another surgery is terrifying me, but so is the thoughts of labour and delivery.

DH is great, but he's a bit taken aback. Not sure why I'm posting, probably just to vent or to see if anyone else has any advice.

Because of pcos etc. I've never had a regular cycle so not sure how far on I am. I've felt run down and tired for a few weeks and I've put on some weight, so could be 8-10 weeks ish.

Sorry for the ramble. Gold star if you made it to the end!

I have found myself in a very similar situation to you. Although I am further along in the pregnancy now.

In some ways time has helped and the 12 week scan helped. But as you say all the practicalities are horrendous. I keep telling myself I still have some time before baby is here so not to stress about something that isn't happening yet. It is going quickly though.

I'm not sure I can give any good advice. Just take one day at a time maybe.

I have been given some things from mum friends and I have collected things for free off of Facebook. Getting a bigger car has been a big expense and alot of hassle though.

Good luck. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

Are you venting that you're shocked or contemplating you options? Do you want this baby? I'm a little confused.

I have little advice apart from being the youngest of 4 from a family who clearly couldn't afford or juggle me. I was dragged up and I hated it. So pretty please make sure they get Some attention without having to really cry out for it.
If this is something that you want then congratulations!

Gosh, that last sentence sounded sarcastic! It wasn't meant to be! I really do mean congrats!

#4 was the best thing to happen to our family dynamics. By now you’ll know what you need for a baby (not much) and can get it second hand so yes there is a cost but hopefully you can mitigate it a bit. 4 kids is MAD but embrace it and you’ll love having a big family.

Congratulations on your news!
I don't have any advise about having 4 kids, however with getting what you need for baby - use Facebook sites, car boot sales, see if there are any mum2mum sales near you (car boot sales for baby stuff but nicer). You may also find that you gets offers of stuff once you officially announce your pregnancy. Also try your local children's centre as they may have a board you could put something on asking for baby bits.
A lot of the supermarkets have their baby sales on at the moment as well, so you could start stocking up on little bits like nappies and wipes now.

Don't worry OP - I've had 4 Csections - 2 emergency and 2 planned and the last was by far the easiest and fastest recovery despite being mid 40s. The last was also a surprise pregnancy but he has been a joy and the easiest of babies (a teenager now!) And his siblings helped to raise him so all in all it worked out fine despite all the worry. And as others have said you know what you really need and don't need and I was never bothered about accepting hand me downs so it wasn't too expensive.

Thanks you all so much for the replies.

Yes, baby was a total surprise, but would not consider ending the pregnancy.

I think I just needed to verbalise (type?) it as we're not telling anyone irl until we've had scan etc.

I just need to trust it'll all work out