39 weeks pregnant mil just unleashed hell on me

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Hi there

New poster, please be gentle! I just need to vent and for tips on how not to feel totally abused and upset.

I'm 39 weeks pregnant and due tomorrow! The plan for our toddler was he'd be looked after by grandma mil, I've mentioned a couple of times could she look after him here, as it's all child proofed and safe to leave him for a minute if need to make food or go to the loo, and she has just changed the subject, her house has easy access to the front and back doors by a busy road, he can climb out of their high chair, there's millions of ornaments and plugs he can play with and as an active 2 year old all this worries the hell out of me.

So I asked my husband to speak with her directly a few days ago to ask if she could watch him at our house when we go to the hospital, as advised by heath visitor to keep his routine the same ahead of the new arrival, and she went absolutely ballistic saying loads of horrible stuff like our house is too dark (it's mostly white with lots of windows) and she refuses to stay there all day and she's got a bigger house and garden than us and we never make anyone feel welcome, which is weird because I usually make cakes and make an effort to make guests feel welcome when we have family visiting, and saying why does she have to host Christmas at her house and why don't I ask my mother, who I'm estranged from, to look after him instead!? Along with more personal criticisms and insults. Including that if I'm anxious I need to just get over it

My husband said he didn't even get a chance to give the reasoning as to why we'd prefer ds to be looked after at our house (which we thought would make it much easier for her). It sounds very premeditated to me and it makes me feel awful as in the last year we have met weekly to take ds on days out or for lunch and got on very well, but now I feel it was all affront and she really must hate me.

Unfortunately we are stuck as have literally no one else we can ask and I'm so upset by her nastyness, and worried about him
Being looked after by her full stop now. I've literally been crying every day and worrying and then worrying that this is not good for the baby either.

What would other people do in my situation, I did plan to give birth on my own but dh wants to be with me for support as last time was v traumatic and long

Sorry this is long, exhaustion, hormones, unexpected heat and I'm just so blooming confused!

Just a quick message to say I am so sorry she has put this stress on you. In my opinion she is being quite selfish, as surely it’s not too much of a problem for her to just stay at your house for a day or two. It sounds safer, and if it helps your anxiety I don’t understand why she can’t just listen to your wishes at such a stressful time . Hopefully the fact your FIL is going to be there now will help reassure you a little .

I’d just suck it up and let him go to hers and then try and sort it out when you’re all a bit more settled. My parents have never stayed at my house we’ve always had to take our kids to them, even my eldest when I was having his brother.

Good luck for tomorrow. My second Labour was pretty speedy and was home quite quick.