Advice from ladies who have taken 8+ months to conceive 1 or more children

[Chefwifelife]

I’m just writing this for a bit of support and advice from people who may have been there.

It took me 10 months to conceive DS who is 25 months.

We have been ttc #2 for 8 months and AF has just arrived.

I’ve lost a bit of weight (although I’m not really overweight), increased my exercise, switched to decaf; reduced my alcohol intake and completely stopped any “social” smoking.

I’ve stopped using bbt as it was stressing me out and am just doing one or two opks when I think I’m at my peak depending on what my body is telling me.

This month I’d really chilled out about things and am not as gutted with af as I thought I would be.

I just feel like I’m back at the same place as I was last time; thinking it will never happen. I’m eternally grateful for DS but I’ve always wanted 2 or 3 children.

Are there any words of wisdom or tips from anyone on here? Thanks if you’ve made it this far and I hope those of you that are pregnant are having a happy and healthy 9 months x

It took us 3 years to conceive ds1.
I was a lion by the end. Such a cliche but the month we gave up and got drunk ws the month we hit the jackpot!
I am sure that the zinc supplements we both took helped but who knows?
Ds2 took 3 months!
And the third child we wanted just never happened.
I would say try not to get obsessed a d enjoy sex for the sake of it.

Loon! Not lion!

Have you tried using an ovulation testing kit?

Starting DTD immediately after AF was what worked for me in the end. Ovulation sticks are a helpful guide but I found when I planned dtd too much around them I just got anxious.
Every other day or there abouts until ovulation definitely done.

We conceived our eldest daughter very quickly, literally the second month of trying. When she was around 18 months old we caught again, very quickly, but I lost that one. We then took a year off ttc, decided we were happy as a family of three. We subsequently changed our minds, as you do, and it took three full years to conceive again. I am now 32 weeks pregnant with our second daughter, and there will be an almost 8 year age gap between them. I had all but given up hope of conceiving again. I was convinced I wasn’t even ovulating, plus my cycles had become very short. I am also older, I’m now 38 so was convinced it was my age. I went to the doctor about it but as we already had one child, the options available are limited. She would have referred us for clomid though, so we were contemplating going down that route. But in the end, it happened completely out of the blue and we couldn’t be happier. Don’t give up hope.

It took me 14 months to get pregnant. The last month of trying I bought an ovia and it worked that very month!

We took 9 months to conceive baby number 1, we'd tried everything... It was the month we stopped caring, went on holiday, drank lots of wine and just had sex when we feel like it that we got pregnant. I really do believe it happens when you relax about it. Your body doesn't want to gear up to grow a new person when you're stressed!

Don't necessarily blame yourself. Your DH may need to get checked out too.
It's taken us 4 years to conceive this baby, and in the end we had to have IVF. Turns out we both have fertility problems.

Conceived ds1 very quickly. Took almost 2 years to conceive ds2. We were at the beginning of fertility investigation/medication when I got pregnant. The doctor said best advice I can give is to have sex a minimum of every 3 days without fail.

Took about 7-8 months. Initially, I was only temping. Then added OPKs. Then invested in Ava bracelet, which put my fertile window about two days earlier than the others. Second full month with this I got pregnant. I don't know if it's due to the Ava or if it was just random luck. Not sure I'd fully recommend it, either. The quality of the band it comes with is really poor and disintegrated for me after a few uses. And the app is beta at best. Anecdotally, I've seen a lot of stories from people who got pregnant in their first month with the band (although it says it needs a few months to get to know you, and they're usually including their discount code with their testemonial...). Anyway, make of that what you will. Pinpointing ovulation, one way or another, is probably pretty key for most people.

Took a year to fall with DS. I was very frustrated so bought the clear blue advanced monitor and my subsequent three pregnancies all happened within three months. My current pregnancy (5 months) we fell the first month of trying. It’s quite costly but so worth it for us

Thank you everyone for your messages. I use Internet opks and always get a near or positive but normally go by ewcm.

becca are you saying you dtd dead every other day from around the 5th day of your cycle?

bigearings I think lion can sum me up 😂

Oh vixen I’m sorry to hear about your loss and long journey. Puts things into perspective after me moaning about another 8 months of ttc so far.

pambo what’s an ovia?

Sorry I meant to say an ovusense not an ovia. It's basically a fertility tracker - similar to the ava bracelet but worn internally. I've read good stuff about both to be fair!

@Chefwifelife roughly every other since day 5 but we went with what felt right/worked for us so a few times we left it 3 days between

Download a ovulation app,take seven seas vitamins,use lube for trying to get pregnant,if your due a smear test go for that,i think thats what helped me get pregnant this time,as was trying for a year got my smear test and got pregnant that month.

pambo thanks for the info I’ll look it up.

Wow becca that’s a whole lot of dtd! I guess we normally managed about 6 times in 9 days around ov and it would be nice to do it outside of the “fertile” window 😂

Thanks angela. I’ve just ordered some lube as tbf we used that last time and hadn’t thought about it this time around. I rang about my smear and I’m not due one for a while. I didn’t get on with seven seas last time but have just started taking some conception multivitamins so we shall see.

Thanks everyone for your comments. Please keep them coming 😊

How old are you? Have you/DH had fertility testing at all? Any family history of difficulty conceiving?

You don't need the lube if you're producing plenty of slippery EWCM, it's just that normal lube is sperm unfriendly so if you're going to use lube, sperm friendly is better than normal.

Have you heard of the Sperm Meets Egg Plan? That is based on doing OPKs and then DTD every other day rather than every day.

Men's health vitamins for DH can help sperm health - I think the important ones are vitamin C, Selen and Zinc. I also requested DH gave up alcohol and hot baths/hot tubs, since I'd have to give up those things when pregnant too I felt it wasn't too much to ask. Once I was pregnant he was OK to do them again.

We also um used a cock ring on the cycle we (eventually) conceived DS. It causes a more forceful ejaculation so whether that helped get things into the right place or was a coincidence I don't know.

I conceived DS1 after 5 months, after 1 chemical pregnancy and 1 miscarriage - I was 28 at the time. Started to try for DC2 when 33 and fell pregnant after 6 months but found out it was an an embryonic pregnancy completely unexpectedly at 10 weeks. I was absolutely gutted and got my self in a really bad place. We were TTC for another year after than with no luck. So at the start of this year I had surgery for endometriosis, went on a big weight loss diet (from a size 16/18 to size 12/14) using the fast800 diet, started weekly reflexology using someone who specialised in fertility issues and started yoga and mindfulness via an app. My GP done several tests on me and I was diagnosed with early onset menopause in March. So I went out a bought a ClearBlue advanced fertility monitor that month and on the first month of using it I got my BFP (also the day the letter from the fertility clinic came through). I do not believe that it was the monitor that changed everything (although it definitely helped - it was so much better than standard opk's) but rather me being in a different mindset and feeling good that I had made positive changes in my life. I am now 25 weeks pregnant and still a nervous wreck about everything but slowly getting there.

Good luck to you on your journey

Hey bertie I’m 33 (was 31 when I had DS). I had testing done then but the month I had my bloods done I rang for the results but had just conceived. DH had his swimmers last time and everything was on the low side except for motility so basically zombie sperm 🧟‍♂️ (swim really fast but are funny looking). He’s a chef so works a lot of hours and always in the heat. He’s reduced his alcohol significantly not having a drink after service etc. I have loads of ewcm but wondered if the extra calcium and zinc in the lube may help the swimmers. DH is also on wellman vitamins. Nearly spat my coffee out reading about the cock ring 😂

We tried SMEP to the letter last month.

Oh thisyear I’m so happy to hear you’ve come out the other side in terms of getting to the incubator status. What a bloody rollercoaster you’ve had.

I do yoga once a week roughly and am also doing fast 800 (well done on your weight loss that’s amazing!). Were you doing fast800 when you conceived?

I was wondering about the advanced fertility monitor but wondered if that would make me even more neurotic like I was with doing bbt. I think I’m definitely ov due to consistent temp rises when previously doing bbt.

Once again thank you 🙏🏻 so much for all your stories.

Chefwifelife I was still doing the fast 800 when I conceived (although not religiously as it had been my birthday that month), but when I got my BFP I stopped the fast800 and tried to just eat a healthy diet (but failing miserably as I all I want is carbs and chocolate!). My aim is to not gain any more weight than I lost at the start of the year during my pregnancy (2.5 stone).

The ClearBlue monitor gave me my peak earlier than OPKs which was interesting. The monitor was expensive but I liked that it gave words rather than interpreting lines. But as I said I don't think it was the monitor that got me my BFP.

I also tried acupuncture for a bit but it was too far away from my house and very expensive. I preferred the reflexology as it was very relaxing and it felt like good value for money as each session was an hour long.

I second @becca3210 starting early in your cycle. Before ovulation is best.

We caught quickly twice ( but only dtd early in the cycle) but second time ended in miscarriage, then took what seemed like years to get pregnant again. We so tried various things. I agree that the month I ruled out it happened, having only done it once due to me having a cold. Third time lucky I hope 🤞

It took 3 years with ds2.

To be honest, part of the delay was probably age (almost 40 when it finally happened) and looking back, part was ttc fatigue - sex to a schedule became a huge chore and often meant we didn't bother if we'd missed the most likely days.

The month that worked we were on holiday and it shouldn't have been my fertile time. I do wonder if we actually made things harder for ourselves with the ov sticks and temping.

Anyway, who knows? The whole process seems pretty random no matter how we try to control it and see patterns.

Thanks goodyear. I gained 3 stone with DS and I’m trying to be lighter pre conception than I was last time so it’s not such a long road back!

I don’t ovulate till a bit later in my cycle but maybe we just need to spread those swimmers across the whole cycle. DH is a chef so sometimes we’re dtd at 1am because that’s when he’s home. It’s really no fun; but with a toddler who’s up as early as 5 what choice do we have?! Maybe we need to make more on an effort on his days off instead.

Ladies who have kindly replied to this thread; af has all but finished but I’ve been having ov type pain. Out of curiosity I did an opk and a line is starting.... surely I can’t be ov this early in a cycle?!