What to do when the baby arrives?

[splishandsplash]

Might be the wrong thread, Can anyone recommend any books on how to look after a new born?

This is weird, I'm a first time mum and currently 20 weeks, I'm now panicking that I know nothing and have no idea how to look after him. I would really apprieciate any help!

Like how do you dress them?! How much milk are they expected to drink etc?

I have a load of books on pregnancy but it doesn't really explain much for when the baby is here!

Rachel Waddilove - can't remember the title. Goes through all the basics. I was given it and my copy is now being passed around other pregnant mums.

Tbh, you learn as you go. Id never changed a nappy, fed or dressed a baby and you just pick it up as you go.

Don't worry, the midwifes are usually amazing when you are a first time mum and show you the ropes! They let you know how much milk and how often and I even asked mine to dress my son for the first time as I was nervous 😂 you also have follow up visits from midwifes and health visitors and you'll keep their numbers if you are worried or need any help! But so much of it comes from instinct you'll be surprised! Don't worry, enjoy your pregnancy and congratulations!

Birth and behond, yehudi Gordon. It might be a little dated by now but it helped me with DS.

Holly Willoughby has truly happy baby, I've not had that one but the weaning book was really helpful. x

I had my babies in the early 2000s and Gina Ford, Contented Little Baby about was all the rage. I had no clue, I needed a manual, I had no near friends or family. Followed it to the letter, and it absolutely loved it. DS1 slept through at 12 weeks and was in a routine and was happy as hell. Gets absolutely slated on here though! There must be some modern similar versions.

Your midwives/ HV will explain a lot about nappies, feeding etc. There's a book called 'The Baby Whisperer' which I found useful.

Your baby week by week is good

This was the best book I got. It tells you everything. How to dress a baby, how to look after a baby, easy ways to figure out why the baby is crying. It's awesome.

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/barbara-want/baby-secrets-how-to-know-your-baby-s-needs/GOR002297069?keyword=&gclid=CjwKCAjwnf7qBRAtEiwAseBO_GcBCXXhhxd9C2JRLJDoDlDnczKIl73R4WoV464i9EF7nQRcYm6nhxoCHNoQAvD_BwE

Don't worry! You've got plenty of time. Your midwife and health visitor team will help you and tell you everything you need to know - HV usually visits you at home before the birth, I bombarded mine with questions!

A newborns needs are so simple:
To be fed
To be clean & clothed
To have a safe place to sleep

Honestly, that's about it. A pp said you work things out as you go along - it's so true.

I also had to ask a midwife in hospital to show me how to get DD's babygro on!! Just don't be afraid to ask, ever.

What @EyeDrops has said, lol I don't think the book ever prepares you.. I didn't know how to put a nappy on DS, I didn't know how often to BF or how to bath my son. But me and husband learned together and you will get to know what baby needs.

Do you have antenatal classes? Try goto these my mw screwed me over and went on sick so I missed mine. Also will your mum, partners mum or grandparents be around to help? My mum was a big help with bathing and gave me confidence to do it alone x

Don't think any book can prepare you as every baby is SOOO different. But one tip is.
THEY DONT BREAK! they may be small and so precious but don't panic when changing their bums and getting them dressed etc their fine an you'll soon realise if they baby wants more milk or less depending on what they have as you'll soon be a stickler for remembering every Last bottle they had and making an average of what was drank! You'll be fine don't over read and any questions write down in a book so you can ask the midwife or HV when you see them or even give them a call x

I have no advice but it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one feeling this way! 26 weeks today and no idea 🙃

A friend of mine recommended the "what to expect" series. They are more like text books/reference books but 'what to expect when you're expecting' has been useful to dip in to with any questions or worries. I think we will use 'the first year' in the same way. It's not something you would read all of. My DH bought "The Baby Owner's Manual" which is quite light and fun but has some good info. It is designed like an instruction manual with lots of diagrams and small chunks of information. It's a more enjoyable read and one we look at together.

Lucy Atkins, First time parent

No book will ever prepare you for what to do after you've had a baby. I hadn't even changed a nappy before I had my baby and the midwife had to change the first one because we had no idea what we were doing! If you end up staying in the hospital the staff there are usually fantastic and very supportive.
Talk to your midwife and find out if they have any classes you can go to or local groups you can join.
I think it's one of those things where you 'learn on the job' as you get to know your baby

You learn as you go for sure :)

At first they only need dressing, changing and feeding.

The midwives will show you how to dress them - but it's fairly simple in the beginning as they just wear a vest and sleepsuit, plus a little cardy and hat if it's colder. After that the general rule is that they should be happy in a similar number of layers to you plus a vest. If you are outside and walking while they are in a pram/pushchair add an extra blanket or two compared to your coat as they are sedentary.

Changing a nappy is fairly simple - take the old one off, give them a clean, put the new one on. You'll learn from trial and error any mistakes in placement etc.

Feeding is probably the most complicated - do you want to breastfeed or bottle feed?

Look up Sarah ockwell smith, she has some very good books. If you are planning to breastfeed the positive breastfeeding book by Amy brown is brilliant and talks not just about feeding but normal baby behaviours.

Mostly though you will learn on the job, follow your instincts and remember that you can’t spoil a baby- cuddle and hold them as much as you want

I remember when my first was born I literally had no clue what to do with a baby. Had never even changed a nappy. You do pick it up. Formula guidance is on the tins and look at the WHO feeding guidelines too. The internet will tell you lots about sleep. Google the 5 Ss by Harvey karp. You'll be fine, really.

DH was the same when we had our first (I had a little bit of experience with babies but not loads). We did an NCT course - it was really good, lots of practical advice and hands-on activities (e.g. bathing and dressing a doll). Obviously you hear mixed reviews about NCT but perhaps some form of antenatal class would be helpful? Also gives you the chance to make friends in the same boat.

Do not rely on the midwives, in my experience they will not have time to show you anything. This is what I expected friends had told me about being shown how to bath breastfeed etc. I couldn't even get pain relief when it was due.

HV very good though

I've had loads of people recommend your baby week by week. Very practical and, as the title says, on a weekly basis so not too overwhelming.

Also another recommendation of first time parent Lucy Atkins

Honestly, you just figure it out. Their needs are pretty basic when they are small.

Nappies - change straight away after a poo and when they feel full for wees
Milk - if breastfeeding, on demand. If formula, there are guides to amounts
Clothes - general rule is one layer more than you
Sleep - foot to foot in their cot with no suffocation risks in the bed (use waffle blankets). Should be in the room with you until six months for all sleep and naps.
Bathing - no need to do it too often, just hold their head above the water and just start with plain water (no products). There are bath thermometers if you are worried about temperature

We did an NCT class for the total basics but really enjoyed Lucy Atkins "First-Time Parent: The honest guide to coping brilliantly and staying sane in your baby’s first year"

Congratulations on your pregnancy , please don’t worry too much my daughter is 5 months . I hadn’t a clue what to do with her wen she was born . It’s strange but it’s like natural protection instincts kick in and you just know what your doing . Also the midwifes / health visitors will point you in the right direction
I was worried as I’d only ever looked after pets before baby 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Having actively avoided babies for my entire life I was absolutely petrified and clueless. I had no idea what to do or even how to hold her.... The midwives were amazing and showed me everything. Once she was born and we were trying to sleep they told me to press the buzzer if she woke and theyd come and tell me what to do lol.

Honestly, please don't worry too much. I'm the most cluess person going and I've managed to get my daughter to 2. If I can anyone can xx