Daddy to be issue

[limama]

Just looking for some support or advice. Been with my partner for 4 years and I'm not far off due date with my first baby. My partner works alway for periods at a time and financially is a great provider for our family... when he comes home from work however it's like having a child already. He doesn't do any cooking, cleaning, washings, won't even change the toilet roll holder over. I work full time in a stressful high pressure job and I come home to a sink of dishes from his day, I wash them before I make our dinner and start the housework and laundry etc. (He washes dinner dishes) Last night he went to his friends house for a few beers and came home at 6.30am because he watched the ufc. He proceeded to moan at me for being restless (baby loves to kick my ribs) and I got up and lay on the couch so he could sleep. He missed our friends baby's first birthday due to the hangover and has been in bed since 5.30pm this afternoon.

I am so scared what the future holds, it's hard work trying to cope with this pregnant but with a baby In tow I'm not sure how it'll go

Have you sat him down and had a serious chat about it? As silly as it sounds if you just do his dishes without complaint and let him laze around then he may not have thought twice that it bothers you as much as it does (understandably so!!!!)

Perhaps mention it calmly and have an honest talk and it might make him realise.

If you have spoken about it then I would be furious that he’s taking you for granted and not pulling his weight. Again, I’d really lay it on thick with him and tell him how you’re worried you won’t be able to cope without his support at one of the busiest and most stressful times of your life and maybe (hopefully) the penny will drop.

I know a guy who played up whilst his partner was pregnant- became lazier than normal and partied. He has been an amazing dad and turns out he was sort of having a final blow out before the baby came and was just terrified of what the future held. Maybe it’s a bit of that too if he’s not normally this bad??

Make a plan for the 4th trimester.
I know these issues run deep but perhaps this is a new start. Set out what will be happening, you will need rest, he will need to step it up with help, or get help, cleaner, doula, on line shopping etc
Good luck 💙

My husband is amazing but also expects a lot of me but purely through me not mentioning that it's an issue. I'm 25+2 and haven't been myself lately from the exhaustion and I have a chronic illness which is making pregnancy very painful. He picked up on this so I mentioned it and since he's helped out a hell of a lot more. Definitely have a chat, as PP said, he may not know it is a problem. Good luck with baby!