I found out a week ago I am pregnant with my 4th child. It was an absolute shock and surprise. My three kids are 6,8 & 11. My eldest has asd, adhd and whilst high functioning makes family life very difficult at times. I always thought I may like a 4th one day until I found out I was pregnant. It’s hit me like a truck that actually perhaps I don’t. I have so many reasons for feeling this way. I’m terrified of having another autistic child, and don’t know how I’d do it again. I am struggling to see how a baby will fit into our busy life - and how it will affect my kids. The gap is so big. How can they bond??
I’ve just got all kids in school and finally have a life of my own. I feel devastated to give it up. I realise termination is my only way out and have had a conversation with a clinic. Just them describing to me what it involved made my cry for hours. I’m totally pro-choice. I had one when I was younger but now I don’t know how I can do it. I feel totally trapped either way. My husband is amazing. Totally supportive. He seems quite keen, which has surprised me. Financially we are ok. But his job is always insecure due to nature of the industry. It worries me if things go wrong for him and if he takes a pay cut that another child will add more stress. This is such a babble. Sorry. I have no one to talk to. I can’t bring myself to tell anyone. Not even my parents. I haven’t gone to the GP yet as that makes it so real. I really need some perspective and advice. Thanks.