Tricky questions here, appreciate any perspectives/all views welcome!! 😊
I was estranged from my mother for several years. I had a lot of therapy and worked through my childhood issues, mostly because my mother was in an abusive relationship and did little to protect us children. My mother and I reconciled about a year ago, and although we aren’t as close as we were, we have a good relationship.
My husband knew my mother before, during and now after our estrangement. He initially couldn’t understand what my problem with her was, but over time, he supported me both in therapy, in reconciling etc. I guess it’s made him a little apprehensive about our relationship.
I’m now due first baby in Nov. First grandchild too. My mum is SUPER excited. She recently (before we told her about junior) reduced her hours at work, she only works 2.5days a week.
She is DESPERATE to be involved with baby. DH has mentioned he doesn’t think it’s a great idea. He said it whilst drunk, and I’m apprehensive to bring it up in case he seals the deal.
We’ve worked out our savings so we have the first 18mths of full time childcare covered, and then for about a year we’ll be pinched badly until free hours start. If my mother had baby for two mornings a week, it could shave a good £500 a month off our bill when I go back to work (if o negotiate flexi time, which I am pretty confident of).
I’m just not sure if I can convince DH. Or if I should try. He hasn’t said anything about this for a good few months, but he is absolutely entitled to and respected for his opinions on how we divvy up caring for our child. I don’t want to undermine that.
I don’t really know how to approach it. So I thought I’d ask here. Please don’t be too harsh... I know money isn’t everything, etc etc, but a few spare extra quid would be very welcome, and I do think that baby spending time with my mum would be great for our family. I trust my mum, who’s a qualified social worker, and way better at parenting now than she was when I was a kid!! (JK!)
I also think a part of my FHs apprehension is born out of his parents’ reluctance to engage in my pregnancy. They have Grandkids already and have little to do with them as it is. I wonder if DH is a bit....funny about that...?
Anyway. Waffled on. Anyone?