MMC at 11 weeks

[Claire78564]

Hi. I could do with some advice and kind words as yesterday after some slightly spotting I discovered my baby’s heart has stopped. He/she measured at 9 weeks 6 days. This will be my second miscarriage after my first one in February at 6 weeks earlier this year. That time I was able to treat it like a heavy period and altho I felt a lot of emotional pain I picked myself up and moved on. Four months later we caught with the pregnancy I have just lost. I’m devastated. To make matters worse it’s my 30th in 2 days so I will be going through this at a time in my life where it’s a milestone you don’t usually forget. I honestly did not think I would be back on these forums talking about this subject again but here I am. I have to go back to the hospital on Monday for a scan to confirm and then I guess they will offer me some form of treatment to get the ball rolling. I feel completely demeaned and punished simply by wanting to have a baby. I don’t know what to Expect but I should imagine there will be pain. I’m worried there’s something wrong with me and that’s why we have had another mc. I’m scared it will take us forever to get pregnant again. I feel very down.

Hello. I just want to say I'm so sorry. I too had a mc at 6 weeks and also one at 8 weeks. Last year. It's very very heartbreaking and turns your world upside down in a heartbeat. all I can say is yes the pain will be quite strong. So you need to get yourself very good painkillers as soon as you can really. with my mc at 8 weeks I opted for a D&C and it was pain free and I was out the same day. Yes it was a very difficult day for me, but it allowed me not to go through the extreme pain but also the emotional torment of seeing everything. I can't recommend it enough.
Look after yourself. And be kind to yourself. It really wasn't anything you did. xxxxxxxx

I am so sorry about your losses. My heart goes out to you

Thanks. I’m worried about having the op because I’ve heard there are risks such as scaring. To be honest I have no confidence in my body. It hurt to see my baby so lifeless and helpless on the screen from the scan. I want to catch soon again but I know how scared I will be x

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc which was discovered at my 12 week scan. Baby had not developed past 6 weeks. I was asked to wait one further week for a repeat scan to confirm no change and then, when this was confirmed I had 2 options. One was to take medication to induce a miscarriage, the other was to be booked in for a d and C a few days later. At this point I just wanted things over ASAP so opted for the tablets. The can cause sickness and diarrhoea so had to stay in hosp for an hour after swallowing to ensure they stayed down which they did. No sickness or pain at all thankfully but major diarrhoea (sorry!!) and the heaviest period with huge clots subsequently. I actually started bleeding whilst walking out of hosp so it worked really fast. I did pass what appeared to be a "ball" of tissue 12 hours later and the bleeding stopped almost immediately. (Nothing recognisable as a foetus though). Afterwards I had to take numerous pregnancy tests and report results to hosp. Sadly they kept coming back as + so I was rescanned. There was still some tissue remaining so I ended up having a d and C about a month later under local. It was painful - I guess a bit like a smear but a touch worse but over in 2 minutes. I fell pg a few months later and now have a perfect 18 month old girl.

I really do feel for you and am thinking of you. My Dr's and nurses were all wonderful and compassionate throughout. Hope you find the same and have lots of support around you. Be very gentle with yourself X x

So sorry you are going through this. I had a mmc at 9 weeks earlier this year (after having a suspected ectopic the year before) and an erpc which actually wasn’t as traumatic or painful as I thought it would be. Is there anyway you can ask for the fetus to be tested? That way you’ll know if the issue is with the fetus (not really much you can do about that if it’s a chromosomal problem), or if it’s something going on in your body, which more than likely could be successfully treated next time.

I recently got the results for my mmc and found out it was a girl with trisomy 21. I found this gave me a good deal of closure knowing that she never really stood a chance.
It’s awful to have had two miscarriages but I read that 1 in 25 women have two miscarriages, so while it is devastating it is not entirely uncommon, and there is nothing to say your next pregnancy won’t be successful. I wish you all the best x

Thanks for your replies. I’m not sure which option I will take. I guess I just want it to be over as soon as possible. I’m sorry you have also been through this b it’s nice to hear you have had a happy ending. I hope with all my heart we get ours. I was told the structures of my reproductive system look fine and the actual sac that the baby is in is perfect. He /she does have fluid round his head which we don’t know much about b I guess I can ask further questions next week. I feel like we can’t get a break at the moment xx

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have been through it a number of times.

I would recommend surgical management (as opposed to medical management) on the proviso that the person doing the procedure is very experienced. I say this as someone who has had scarring after an ERPC. The last one, I asked him and told him my fears. In all honesty he was an arrogant ass who told me he had done it a thousand times but he was also then aware of my fears and I came out of it fine.

The medical management always failed for me and waiting and waiting for my wanted baby to come out was horrendous. My last surgically managed miscarriage, I went into the theatre and was out ten minutes later, cup of tea once I woke up and was sent home. It was pain-free.

I do hope you get the answers you need to help heal. For what it's worth I am a mother and I know that I lost faith in my body through my many losses, but I have learnt to love myself again and trust my body to do the right thing and this has helped me heal and accept the loss.

Much love to you.