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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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3 replies

choccybuttonshelpeverything · 10/08/2019 11:40

I don't know what I'm asking. Just needing to get off my chest...
We have 2 DD, 3 and 10 months. Unexpectedly pregnant with number 3. When I say unexpected it's as unexpected as unprotected sex could be for the last ten months.
Husband has always been clear on not wanted more. I've always been clear on wanting more. He spoke about vasectomy. I said I didn't want that. As far as I concerned if it happens it happens.
Fast forward to I tell him I'm pregnant. Took it remarkably well. Now as a couple of weeks have passed he's became increasingly dry and withdrawn with the odd passive aggressive comment about a 3rd baby thrown in.
Today I glance over his shoulder and see he's made a pros and cons list of new baby- note no pros 😩
Can we recover. I understand it's not what he wanted but am I setting myself up for a life of living with a resentful man? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
Abortion for the sake of my marriage is not an option, after 3 mc it's not something I'd do.

OP posts:
choccybuttonshelpeverything · 11/08/2019 11:51

Update in case anyone ever replies.
He categorically does not want a baby.
If he stays he's miserable and marriage is over
If I abort I'll never forgive and marriage over.
Not great

OP posts:
ADTB · 11/08/2019 22:15

Hey

Sorry to hear you're in this predicament!

I haven't been through the same thing but I'll tell you my experience (hoping it helps/comforts in some way).

I fell pregnant a month into dating my neighbour and had no idea what to do as I had never wanted kids. My then neighbour, now boyfriend, already has a daughter and loves kids. He persuaded me to keep the baby and although it was very soon, he reassured me that things would be okay and we could do it. So I did (and honestly don't think I could have gone through with an abortion anyway).

My son is now 11 weeks old and my boyfriend almost resents me. We have a very needy baby who needs constant touch to settle and sleep. When he cries, my boyfriend just expects me to deal with it, says it's ruined our relationship, makes little effort to bond with him and hasn't ever gotten up to do a night feed. So now I sort of resent him too....

And even though I was the one against having kids, I obviously wouldn't change it for the world and even though my relationship is on the rocks, I'm glad I made the best decision for my baby.

As hard as it would be for a marriage to end over a new baby, I think you've got to go with your gut. And if you are 100% against abortion, then you have your baby and don't let anyone make you feel that you are making the wrong decision as you know better than anyone else, husband included.

You never know, when your husband meets your brand new baby, he will most likely fall head over heels and forget every reason why he didn't want more!

This probably isn't much help but I hope it offers some kind of comfort and support.

A mum always knows what's best for their baby Smile

Wetwashing00 · 11/08/2019 22:21

He doesn’t want more children but was happy to have unprotected sex?
Am I missing something?

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