Anxiety about labour

[Becky6X]

Hey ladies,

I feel so silly writing this but I just wondered if anyone has any advice/has felt a similar way.

I've suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember. I hate hospitals and get nervous/blood pressure is through the roof every time I have an antenatal appt, I don't know why!

Throughout my pregnancy I've not really thought much about the birth and have been excited but ever since hitting 30 weeks (31 today) my anxiety has gone crazy about going through labour. I am so excited to meet my little boy, but so terrified at what I'm going to have to go through and if I'll be able to even do it.

I've suffered with period type cramps quite a bit throughout my pregnancy and a few days ago I've started experiencing them again. Of course now I'm thinking omg this is it every time I get one.

I feel like ever since I've hit 30 weeks I'm living each day in panic. I feel really spaced out (probably the anxiety), and feel like every twinge or pain I get I think 'this is it, it's happening'. I feel so stupid to feel this way and just want to enjoy the last 9 weeks of being pregnant and having my little boy kicking away inside of me. I want to feel excited, not scared :-( any advice? X

Hi Becky
I remember feeling scared. Then I thought well the baby can't stay inside forever. If you have ever had severe back pain or anything, you get the pain but nothing at the end if it. With labour you get your beautiful baby. There is pain relief if you need it. I fell in love with my baby the moment I saw her and you will too.

I was the same OP. But your physical and psychological resilience and ability to cope when it actually happens will honestly surprise you.

Have you thought about trying hypnobirthing? I used the Maggie Howell book and CD. It doesn't take away the pain, but it helped to keep me calm in the lead up and also during labour. I used to go to sleep listening to the cd every evening and found it very relaxing.

Also, remember there are pain relief options too, speak to your midwife about the different options and processes and see how you feel once fully informed, may make you feel better to know more.

Hypnobirthing! Seriously, I’ve felt way more relaxed about labour after reading the Postive Birth Co book (from amazon) and have bought their online course too for my last few weeks. It explains exactly what is happening through labour which has made me feel way more in control and realise that my body knows exactly what to do to get baby out. NCT classes also made me feel more knowledgeable and therefore calm.

I read a Birth Skills book and made flash cards, took stress balls and most of all you need to - keep an open mind.
There are so many different elements involved in labour that you cannot be prepared for every eventually. You can however be prepared for going with the flow.
Spend the next few weeks getting a pregnancy safe massage, a pedicure, read books and relax. Women are the only reason any babies have ever been born in the history of the human race and medical staff are there too.
The main aim of labour is simple: your baby is going to be outside of you instead of inside :) The process is only a means to that end.

Honestly you'll be so surprised what your body can handle x

Another one recommending that you look at hypnobirthing. I know it might sound a bit hippy dippy, but actually a big part of it is really simple stuff like breathing exercises, positive thinking, focusing your mind etc. It's probably just want you need to stop psyching yourself out and getting worked up. You may even start to look forward to your labour.

Also don't forget that there loads of great pain relief options out there. If you're very frightened of the pain then get an epidural. It's really effective pain relief, you'll be fine after that.

Women have been doing this since the dawn of humanity! They weren't all especially brave or magical - they were ordinary people just like you and me. They managed it and a lot of them chose to do it more than once! You'll be fine OP :)

I’m 34 weeks and I feel exactly the same! At my antenatal class last night she was talking about the second stage of labour and tearing and it totally freaked me out! I think I’ll look at hypnobirthing as people have suggested here. I’m also meant to be getting an induction at 39 weeks for medical reasons which I’m scared is going to make it even worse

Another vote for the Positive Birth Company, their digital pack completely changed my birth. It was fantastic.

All the best OP xx

I gave birth 11 days ago and was terrified of hospitals and particularly needles in my hands was a massive source of anxiety. However it really is true that in the thick of everything happening your body just takes over. I ended up being induced with both types (56hrs total labour) and then a csection. Just take everything in your stride and take the pain relief you need at the time, don't feel you need to prove anything by 'being brave', you will know what works for you. Plus on the epidural I had the best sleep I've now had in a week!😄 You will be fine and as much as I laughed at this before I had my baby, when you see them for the first time it's a lovely feeling (although I can safely say I didn't and haven't forgotten what I went threw to get him here).

I used an online hypbobirthing course (the positive birth company) and it was brill, I'm like you - the whole hospital thing sent my anxiety through the roof!!!! I was all set to have a home birth, but my little girl came 5 weeks early so had to go into hospital, and it wasn't all that bad to be fair. If it's the hospital environment that worries you would you consider a home birth? My midwife went through it with me and I fell completely in love with the idea

You still have time to do something about this before the big day...which could be in 11 weeks.
I'd really recommend nct Relax, Stretch and Breath classes. They help you to feel in control. You will hear positive birth stories from group members as they come back to visit after giving birth.
Doing these classes made the birth of my second son really relaxed and peaceful. And during labour I kept thinking of the other mums labour stories, thinking if she can do it, I can!
Don't just sit at home worrying.

Another vote for hypno birthing - specifically the positive birth company digital pack mentioned upthread. It’s only about £30.

I would say be totally open minded about pain relief ..: I was and it was the best attitude I could have and listen to you midwife ... and try to keep imagining that little miracle you will be bringing into the world 😀🍼 you are amazing .. and it’s just wonderful .. women still do it again and again after their first one 😀💐🥂

Thank you everyone, it already makes me feel better to know that it's not just me feeling this way 🤗

I'm definitely going to look into hypobirthing as there's been a lot of positive recommendations for it.

Thank you all again x

I would recommend reading a hypnobirthing book to help you keep a positive and calm mindset in the coming weeks. Listen to pregnancy and labour affirmations online.

@Becky6X I don't have much advice, just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm a ftm & also terrified.

I've bought The positive birth book (started reading it) & hypnobirthing.

I go from being excited to really scared. My fear left me for a while after I had my scans & it temporarily leaves me when I feel the baby move. I worry I'm not capable but then think women manage. We need to get our babies here

I don't have a birthing plan, just want to get the baby out as quickly & safely as possible. I'm not ruling out any pain relief.

You're due before me, you'll have your baby in your arms & have the lovely times to look forward to. You can be the one reassuring me & others that's it all fine

I had a while message typed out on my phone and it damn well reloaded the page and deleted it all. I went away to find this!

www.penguin.co.uk/articles/2016/mindful-hypnobirthing.html

I can't say i recommend the book to be honest. Although you might find it helpful. I can't say it has yet told me anything i don't already know but I'm only on part one on pregnancy.

However those tracks are relaxingg and may help you.

Also maybe join a pregnancy yoga group? Cheaper than an actual hypnobirthing course and focuses on breathing, relaxation through visualisation and gentle yoga poses that help your body open up. You might also meet other mums with similar experiences or at least people who you can talk to. Physical exercise benefits mental health too. Which i can attest to. I suffer anxiety but in a different direction.

One of the points of that book I'm reading is the power of choice. I'd also saying the power of knowledge. If you understand how your body works you'll feel more in control.

That positive birth book I'm also reading and find it more useful actually bit only a little way in. It's recommend that too. Just to read anything. Help you understand what is normal. As long as you go from reliable sources of course.
Hope you'll feel better soon!

Ah bless you Becky.
I think most women feel like yourself with the first birth.
But believe me,once you start getting into labour fear goes out of the window.
Then when you have the next baby,you sail through it.
My advice is do what the midwives say,they bring babies into this world on a daily basis.
Congratulations on the forth coming event.