12 week scan no heartbeat, no miscarriage either

[culllllll]

I'm so confused, I went for my 12 week scan today and the baby only measured 3.5mm and they couldn't see a heartbeat. 2 sonographers confirmed the worst. This was my first baby.
I've had no pain, no bleeding, nothing apart from normal pregnancy symptoms. I'm still they're wrong but I know that's impossible and unhealthy. What do I do now? I feel so hurt and I don't know how to feel. Why haven't I had a miscarriage? Why did/do I feel pregnant. We was supposed to come out with a baby scan but instead we came out with instructions to ring the early pregnancy unit and a miscarriage booklet. I can't even describe what I'm feeling, everything seemed so perfect I just feel so sad

I’m so sorry OP, it sounds like a ‘missed miscarriage’. Sometimes the pregnancy ends without any symptoms, but I think you can either opt for a surgical procedure, a tablet which will cause the normal bleeding you would see or wait for it to ‘pass’ naturally which it would eventually do. The EPU will be able to talk you through the options and answer your questions.

I’m sorry this happened to you and wish you the best

@bumblenbean
Thank you, it just feels very surreal and devastating like it's not a natural emotion, I hope it's quick

I'm very sorry you've gone through this. If confirmed, this is what's called a 'missed miscarriage' or 'silent miscarriage.' It's like your body hasn't recognised that things haven't progressed as they should.

I'm a bit surprised they didn't try to explain what might happen next, but the epu should be able to talk you through the options. It might be that your body will recognise what's happened, but you may need medical intervention.

Hugs. Please be kind to yourself.

@physicskate I think they must've but I wasn't coherent enough to listen, so many feelings of guilt for all different things, I think it happened a while ago judging by normal measurements and my measurements. Just doesn't feel right. Thank you 💔

So sorry for your loss. I’d be hoping that there was a heartbeat and that they just missed it but presumably they are experts and such things can’t happen, I know nothing about such things these days.
Don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault. These things sadly still happen even in this day and age.

Hey OP, firstly I'm sorry this has happened to you, secondly this happened to me too with my first. However I found out at 10 weeks as I was referred to EPU for a early scan as I had a little brown blood around 9 weeks and was concerned. I'm no Doctor but it does sound like you have had a missed miscarriage. Your body hasn't responded to the loss, so you haven't had the usual bleed.
My baby's heartbeat stopped at 8+3, didn't even know that had happened until I was 10+2, on the day of my early scan.
I was sent away with leaflets etc and was given options, if I wanted to miscarry naturally or be booked in for a D&C op. I chose the D&C, but miscarried naturally the evening before my scheduled op.
From when I was told the heartbreaking news about my baby, it took around 3 weeks for me to naturally miscarry. With your measurements I'm not sure how far gone you was, but I'd say this happened relatively early on in the pregnancy.
I'm just letting you know my experience so you can kind of get an idea of what to expect.
Hugs to you

@Allli yes that is what I was hoping for, them to make a mistake but I know they didn't feel down,
It feels good laying at home alone in my bed,
I don't want to go outside tomorrow x

@RedWineAllMine thank you very much, I'm also sorry this happened to you. Such a confusing time full of so many emotions. May I ask, was it painful? I just don't know what to expect in this case I feel more knowledge the better. Thank you for your message x

I’m so sorry, I’ve been there too, missed miscarriage at 12 week scan. I waited because I too thought “what if” and my body miscarried naturally around a week later. That week was very hard and perhaps it would have been better to have a managed miscarriage but only you can decide when you go to EPU.

It’s awful and heartbreaking, give yourself time to grieve. If it helps I now have 3 children, no issues since. There is hope but for now just take care of yourself xx

The same happened to me in January went for my 12 weeks scan and baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. Though has started bleeding day before so was expecting bad news. Got taken straight to early pregnancy unit and had medical management that evening as had a temperature so they were worried I was going septic.
Physically I recovered quickly but was very hard mentally was my second pregnancy but had taken 2 years to conceive.
The early pregnancy unit will talk you through the options.
I'm sorry this happened.

I have had a missed miscarriage too. Typically they will rescan you on the off chance your dates are wrong. And then they will offer you a medical and a surgical option. Sadly missed miscarriages are not that uncommon and I have had several friends who have had the same. I had a healthy baby boy at this time and for my next pregnancy I had an early scan at 6/7 weeks to make sure the pregnancy was viable so I didn’t have the experience of waiting 3 months to find out this horrible news. I also began to miscarry naturally but had a D&C eventually. It wasn’t too painful but emotionally I am not sure I will ever fully recover. I can still tell you the date that baby would have been due. He or she would be turning 4 on the 27th of this September. You never ever forget. But knowing other women had gone through this and felt the same pain made me feel less alone.
I did go on to have another pregnancy after that. My second son is now a toddler.

You want my honest opinion? It was very painful, I said to myself I would never complain about period pain ever again after it. If you wasn't as far gone as I was tho yours might not be as painful? You need to find out how many weeks you was. So defo give EPU a ring and get booked in and hopefully they can find out more for you.
On the bright side tho I now have a bouncing 7 month old baby boy! There will be light at the end of this tunnel for you :-)

I'm so so sorry 💐

I had this in my first pregnancy, it's called a missed miscarriage 😢

If it gives you any comfort at all my next pregnancy went with no problems at all xx

You're not alone, we know what you're going through, and believe me when I say It does get easier to come to terms with it all, it just takes a little time. In the mean time rest up, and treat yourself a little. X

so sorry to hear this.
it also happened to me at my 12 week scan.

i remember the shock and the consultant wanting me to decide immediately what course of action i should take but I was too numb to decide so asked for a few days to think.

i was offered the choice of natural miscarriage which i was told would take up to 6 months, medical or surgical management.

i chose medical management 2 days after the scan but ended up with retained products of conception which is a whole other long story.

you will feel sad/angry/question why me? etc for a while but things do get better and easier with time.

and to end on a high note after one missed miscarriage and 2 further miscarriages at 8 weeks i had a successful pregnancy and have my dc.

take care

So sorry to hear your news, OP. It's such a shock to find out when you are expecting to see your baby's heartbeat.

I had a missed miscarriage - found out at 8 weeks, but was only 6 weeks size and no heartbrat. Was rescanned and opted for medical management. It was like a heavy, more painful period.

We now have an amazing 8 year old son. 💐💐

So sorry OP

Missed miscarriage is unfortunately quite common but can be a shock finding out at scan

I found out at 12 week scan that baby had not made it past 7 weeks. I chose to try and let it happen naturally but it didn't work for me so after 3 weeks I had a D&C

The procedure wasn't painful as done under GA but was quite traumatic emotionally and the bleeding after was like a bad period.

Talk to whoever you can, it does help

No lasting physical issues, I have 2 healthy DC now. You never forget but you do move on. All the best to you

So sorry for your loss OP

I too have had missed miscarriages like so many PP. The first one I had I was in shock as you describe. I wanted so much for the scan to be wrong! I was given the option to wait a week and be rescanned in case my dates were wrong before making a decision. I did that (googling misdiagnosed miscarriage everyday.) A week later there was still no heartbeat. I had surgical management later that week. I've also tried the pills before (they didn't ever work for me) and a procedure which is like a surgical D&C but you're awake and they use a local anesthetic. I actually felt this was the best option for me as they have the most experienced consultant at my hospital carry out the procedure. I'd take time to discuss the pros and cons of all the options when you go back in.

More for you.