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Original poster

He wants to know and I dont

11 replies

Donnamarie2019 · 06/08/2019 20:59

I'm currently pregnant with my first, and this is my partner's third. We spoke the other day about whether to find out the sex of our baby or not. I said I dont want to and hes said he does. I've tried explaining that this is my first and I really dont want to find out but he is being really pushy and says he does. How can I tackle this from a different angle, need some advice please.

OP posts:
Angelinthenightx · 06/08/2019 21:26

The best Way to be fair is let him find out but u dont.just have to tell him he cant slip up or tell anyone. Thats what i would do.
To start i diddnt want to find out with this baby & my husband did but by the time i got to 20wks i wanted to know im now 27wks & its great being able to buy the right clothes etc.

Bambamber · 06/08/2019 21:28

When he puts his body through pregnancy and labour he gets to choose whether or not he finds out the sex

INeedAFlerken · 06/08/2019 21:29

Tell him he can find out when the baby is born, you're not being scanned for it.

Hall84 · 06/08/2019 21:33

We're having the same discussion in our house. It's both our first and i'd prefer to agree if we can. My friend suggested asking DH how he'd feel being the very first to know and telling me straight after the birth. I don't know if it will work yet but it sounded like a good selling point!

MilkLady02 · 06/08/2019 21:36

According to most posters on MN it doesn’t matter anyway as all toys/clothes etc should be gender neutral and no-one should be able to tell what sex your child is throughout their lifetime!! 😉

eurochick · 06/08/2019 22:06

We were in the same position and my husband decided I got the deciding vote as I was the one actually pregnant. So we didn't find out.

levelly · 06/08/2019 22:09

@MilkLady02 They would probably agree with the first part but I doubt they would agree with the second...

OP - could you ask him why it's so important to him to find out? I'm wondering if he has 2 of the same and is hoping for a different sex? Regardless of his reasons, you should not be forced into finding out. You may change your mind later or it may be very obvious on a scan.

kelly14 · 07/08/2019 00:50

My husband wanted to find out this time and I didn’t again.
Agreed he could find out but cousins tell another soul!
He found out at 16 week private scan we had. Will be 30 weeks end of week and he hasn’t slipped up yet.

Original poster
Donnamarie2019 · 07/08/2019 07:39

I'm contemplating letting him find out but I did really want it to be a surprise for us both. @levelly he hasn't given a specific reason so far and he has one of each anyway, so I'm not sure why he wants to know. Thank you everyone for your views Smile

OP posts:
Sleepyquest · 07/08/2019 17:39

We were in this position and in the end I won because I'm the one who is pregnant. DH will find out when it comes out of me Grin as will I!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 07/08/2019 17:55

I'm contemplating letting him find out but I did really want it to be a surprise for us both.

I'd let him find out; but I think it tends to help men bond a bit better when they start knowing things about the baby, and generally I'd let fiancé decide what he wants to be a surprise or not... but I'd also likely be the one wanting to know! I find it feels more "real" to me when I know things, however stupid that sounds out loud.

Talk it out with him. I hope you reach a good compromise.

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