Help 29 plus 4 and it’s not going well

[Tashley]

Hi , basically long story short I’ve been a walking mess this pregnancy my dd who’s 3 was premature born 36 weeks but we had problems from 18 weeks when she all but stopped growing she was 4lb 14 , all I’ve had this pregnancy is every professional telling me I’m going to have another prem baby but Boone wants to tell me what’s going on my midwife measured my bump and told me I’m measuring 4 weeks behind lucky I had growth scan the next day but no one told me if he was okay or small or anything, anyway on top of this since early hours I’ve had cramps not omg painful but enough to wake me serveral times and keep me on my toes all day I messaged my mw because she doesn’t seem to answer phone calls she told me it’s normal so I rang the hospital because I hate my mw and they said to keep an eye on it and if I have any bleeding loose my plug or waters come right in , me and my dh decided to have fun because I’ve been a horny as hell women lol and it didn’t last long omfg it was literally like he hit my waters I’ve never had my waters break natural they’ve always had to be broken and that’s exactly the pain I felt like he was down there with that dam purple stick I screamed he stopped he hasn’t come near me since I think I scared him lol but I was talking to my friend who said to be check if your dilated it’s easy and as long as I don’t poke and just gently press if I can what feels like the top of my nose I’m closed if it feels like my lips and a finger slips in then I’m 1cm , also to scare me even more my 9 and 7 year old rang me from holiday to inform my 7 year old had a feeling that her brother was coming soon she did this before and a week later I was induced with my 3 year old lol
Has anyone done this ?
Has anyone got any idea on why it hurt during sex and felt like it was my waters Sack
Anyone help me at all I feel like I’m going crazy only good thing is plenty of movements from my little man

I wouldn’t check yourself, you could cause an infection if you are dilated and your waters burst. Have you got your notes? All the information about the baby, size etc should be in there. If they’re not giving you the info then I’d demand it tbh, it’s important you know what’s going on! And I’d be insisting on being checked over after being in that much pain, anything out of the ordinary push until they agree to see you. Hope it’s all ok and baby stays put!

Tbh I wouldn't be having sex either and leave that cervix alone.

I'd go and checked out.

Yes, go and get checked out ASAP, don't try inspecting your own cervix, and look in your notes for any information you haven't been given.

I’ve looked in my notes and they literally just said my mood has been fine and that my mirgrain injections have been put from 8 weeks to 2 weeks , and follow up growth scan at 32 weeks and 36 weeks ,
I’ve rang midwife and asked to be seen to which she told me there’s no need till my next appointment at 34 weeks , she then told me women who have had several children ( I have had 4 including this pregnancy) have stretched muscles so this is what I’m feeling and unless my waters burst or the irregular tightens become regular I’ll be fine ,
I don’t know if it makes any difference but I’ve also been feeling extremely sick last 24 hours and have loads of pressure down there and my dh mentioned that my bump has dropped extremely low ,
I’m going to try the hospital again tomorrow morning but it literally feels like I’m just being pushed aside because my waters haven’t broken and the pains are irregular I feel like I’m going crazy because I don’t know what to do mw is saying don’t worry the hospital didn’t want to know but it definitely didn’t feel right during sex even my dh said it didn’t feel right and sorry for this tmi but I haven’t stopped going for number 2 all day everything to me is telling me things are starting to happen slowly ( was in slow labour for 3 days with my 7 year old and then an hour into day 3 she was born ) dh has me on rest duty I haven’t been allowed to do anything but he works night shift so I’m going to have to get up and about tomorrow and now I’m like freaking out because I don’t want to over do it and end up in prem labour .

Where about do you live? I'm in Scotland and I was having pain/pressure at 30 weeks called gp who told me to call triage and they wanted me to go in and get hooked up to the monitor to make sure I wasn't having contractions. I can't understand why they don't want to see you? Don't check yourself. How many weeks are you now?

I’m in Northampton and I’m 29 + 5 my dh is ringing up today and demanding I been seen I haven’t slept I can’t settle I’m on edge it seems to become worse at night

I also live in Northampton and have found the hospital & my midwives really helpful. I'm also at high risk of pre-term birth, if you ring Triage at the hospital they are really helpful, I rang once & they told me to go in immediately which I did and was seen as soon as I got there, was probably only in the hospital for 10 minutes! Where abouts in Northampton is your midwife? Which surgery?

You should have a separate print out sheet from your growth scan with all the measurements on it. Maybe they put it towards the back of your notes folder.
I wouldn't have sex if it's painful and don't check your cervix but keep an eye on the cramps. If they still continue then ring the maternity triage - not your MW - and tell them what's been happening and how long for. Ask to be seen and they can check on baby.

Did they not give you a print out from the scan?

Why are you waiting to be invited, go to triage and tell them you’re 29 weeks and having pain and don’t feel right. They should monitor baby for a bit and probably do some kind of internal exam to see what’s going on with your cervix. Don’t examine yourself! Just go in.

First time mum I’m at Lester terrace , I’m also high risk of pre term due because of my daughters pregnancy,
Im seeing a different mw tomorrow she’s put me on complete rest until tomorrow when I see her and she said she’ll check me over and if needed she’ll ring hospital and tell them I am coming in to be monitored but she’s not happy that my actual mw just brushed me off she said she’ll deal with that also tomorrow, I’m just hoping I get some sleep tonight there’s only so much cleaning you can do in the early hours and I pretty much scrubbed everything just to keep moving so it would stop .
It probably don’t help I don’t have anyone here to talk to because I moved 300 miles 2 n half years ago to be with my other half and pretty much keep my self to my self so until I found mumsnet it’s been google and go stir crazy but I also find everything is done differently here compared to my hospital back home

On your scan report it says all measurements and weight on it.

How did it go with the new midwife?

I’ve been put on bed rest told I need to slow down big time , 1-2cm dilated if the tightenings become regular I’ve just to go right to maternity lil man is head down but not engaged i lasted 6 hours of resting and then went and cleaned my older 2 girls bedroom and moved that around everything on wheels tho it was super easy I’m just not the sort of person who can sit back and order people to do things I wouldn’t let my girls do that it’s just rude why should I although my 3 year old has been following helping with everything and told her sisters on the phone they will be helping else “ our brother will come too quickly and he’s not allowed “ lol

Sorry but I think that's quite irresponsible of you. If you've been told to rest then you need to do that. You need to put your unborn baby first. The cleaning can wait.

Your cervix is dilating. You have been told you’re at increased risk of premature labour. You should he following medical advice - nobody prescribes bed rest for fun. They do it to stop the baby coming early. If you’re going to ignore medical advice then what’s the point? You also need to be far more proactive during your appointments and demand to know where your scan notes are. Every other person I know who had babies at Northampton (and I know a lot of people) have their notes up to date, often by demanding information when it seems to have been forgotten, so you should make an effort to do it too.

You have got to stop & listen to the advice you've been given. I'm 30 weeks and was told last week but cervix has shortened to 8mm and preterm birth is now a huge risk. I've been signed off work, put on bedrest & been told to remove any stress from my life if I want to make it anywhere near term. I've been given daily pessaries and am taking the advice of my consultant very seriously. Please slow down!

I’m just not the sort of person who can sit back and order people to do things I wouldn’t let my girls do that it’s just rude why should I
Then just no one do it - not the girls, not you. This is ridiculous. Will anyone die if a room doesn’t get sorted out? Do what is best for your baby and try not to move too much.