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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Unexpected 4th pregnancy

3 replies

Staceyx3 · 06/08/2019 15:04

My husband reluctantly agreed to baby #3, just found out I’m 6weeks pregnant with #4 both shell shocked and unsure of how we feel. Have a 5, 4 and 18 month old already. Who are absolutely amazing, big sis and bro are the MOST fantastically phenomenal little humans who dote on baby, all very happy children. I always wanted 4 but feel bad for him As he worries about the future and ‘what ifs’ a lot! He wants me to consider abortion but we’ve always been against this, but now it suits him he seems he could be fine with it! I’ve thought about it seriously for a minute and in reality couldn’t go through with it! We already have a 7 seater, have a decent size three bed (children would be x2 per room) and money is ok ish except we have work to do on our house and have a credit card to pay off. I’ve just started a business that’s doing great (work from home around kids) and could carry this on once baby is here! He says he doesn’t want the children to grow up feeling cramped (he seems to think everyone should have their own room wtf) He wants them to have a certain quality of life and not want for anything which I 100% understand and agree with. He also says what about when they are bigger and need more personal space, how does that work?I don’t have the answers he wants but know people do it an we are in a better position than most. He worries what if........ I lose my job (seems stable now but future who knows) or something bad happens, but you could go on forever like this with 1 child 2,3 or 4! My dilemma is do we abort and live a life of regrets (on my part) or deal with the fact life has other plans! I feel one of us isn’t going to be 100% happy with either way!!!!! Advice, kind words...... anything please I’m an emotional wreck!!!! 😢

OP posts:
fernsfordays · 06/08/2019 15:51

First off, he needs to get snipped ASAP 😬

I have 3 kids almost the exact age as yours and have thought about this scenario many times - how would we cope if we had an accidental 4th. We both agree that we are done at 3 and there is no 4th in our plans but if it did happen, there is no way I could go through with an abortion. It sounds like you have a stable enough life that you will manage. Also your kids are still super young which makes it easier to add one more baby into the mix. They will love and spoil that baby just like you guys will once the shock wears off.

Middledistancerunner · 06/08/2019 16:04

I’ve just had Twins so made the jump from 2 to 4 very quickly and, to be honest, I kinda agree with your dh. We are going to struggle a bit and will not be able to maintain our lifestyle going forward.
Not that we will struggle to pay the bills, or eat, so in that sense we will be better off than a lot of people. But I do think everyone should have their own room when they are teenagers.
So we’ll need a bigger house. So there will be less holidays, less clubs, less popping out for days out, less restaurants, less nice clothes.

I wouldn’t swap the twins for the world but I feel very guilty taking all that away from the eldest two.

Staceyx3 · 08/08/2019 15:19

Thank you both, it’s definitely a confusing time and I think it’s really helpful to hear everyone’s view on it to help get things clearer in my head x

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