Sharing baby news with friends who've struggled conceiving naturally...

[titnomatani]

I know a lovely group of mums from when my first baby was little and we've continued to meet up on a regular basis. We've all shared our life stories openly with each other and 3/6 of the mums have said their babies were conceived after lengthy IVF journeys. I'm now the first of this group of mums to be expecting my second and am visibly showing. We've not seen each other for a few weeks now but will be meeting up in a few days time- How do I officially share my news without upsetting anyone? I ask because all three have said they'd love another sibling for their LO but haven't got the emotional or financial means to achieve that.

I also have another friend who has been trying for a baby for the past 2 years and has openly been hostile towards me- I'm due to see her at a party soon, how do I handle her? Her usual thing is to ignore my current LO and make cutting remarks about anything and everything, especially what I happen to be eating (or have eaten) when in her company.

I would text them all before you see them and let them know. That way it's not sprung on them and they can deal with the news in privacy

I think texting before is very thoughtful. As someone who has been through a long IVF journey and was blessed with a little girl, I know the other mums I chat with will be lucky enough to have another, I'm sure your friends will too. The only thing that would piss me off is if you said it was an accident, happened after only a few months trying etc. I'm sure you won't say this and you sound lovely just thinking about them. Good luck with your pregnancy and enjoy it

Thank you

Yeah a personal text is best. That gives them time to cry/be sad in their own. Congratulations 💐

Sorry- pressed send too soon.

Thank you both. Any idea how to word the text? I don't know why but I'm really nervous and want to do things properly. Do I text everyone in the group or just those who have struggled separately? Do I let them bring it up when we meet or mention it myself?

Text people separately saying something like 'We're really pleased to start letting people know that baby 2 is on the way. Feeling good/sick/tired but looking forward to our new addition and I can't wait to catch up properly next week'

I really went through the it before a successful pregnancy and didn’t like being told face to face either; it’s odd really, it doesn’t change you being delighted for them and their news but it’s such a big reminder that you’re not/of your own struggle. Text is much kinder and easier on everyone! One of my best friends shared her news with me on text, quite simply ‘I’ve got some news! We’re expecting a baby, due some time in October. Had a scan last week and all is looking really good, can catch up properly when I see you - hope you’re okay’ - gave me the time to be a bit sad it wasn’t me and then start feeling excited for her before I saw her :)
Congratulations by the way xx

Congratulations! I agree with everyone else, a text is best. Don't worry too much with the wording, keep it simple with your news and that you are looking forward to catching up. I'm sure they will really appreciate having time to digest it before seeing you in person.

As for your other friend I would maybe just limit contact with her as much as possible. I've had a lot of IVF treatment and a number of miscarriages. I'll be honest I've found it difficult to be around my friends at times and have struggled with feelings of jealousy. However I have never treated any of my friends or their children like that though, she doesn't sound much of a friend.

Totally agree with sending a text to allow them time to react how they want to, i was the infertile friend and having a pregnancy sprung on you is hard as your trying to put on a brave face. Also just want to say thank you for even thinking about the others, ive had friends for 15 years who weren't that considerate