Not enjoying breastfeeding in pregnancy. Help!

[Lady2]

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and my DS is 14 months old. I'm still breastfeeding him and had intended to let him wean himself when he was ready. But since falling pregnant I've developed a breastfeeding aversion and really really don't enjoy feeding him any more. Like, it makes me feel angry and disgusted and then I feel really guilty afterwards because the poor little thing just wants his milk as usual. He's not even feeding that much, never more than 3 times a day really. All I can think about is weaning him but everything I read about the issue basically encourages you to 'grin and bear it' and lists all the benefits of continuing to breastfeed. I would never have thought of weaning him this early and will probably continue to feed my new baby for longer. Feel so guilty and kind of trapped. Anyone else had a similar experience?

No practical advice a such but I believe that BF aversion is incredibly common in pregnancy, that's not to say that the way you're feeling should be dismissed

I'm sure someone will be along with some helpful advice for you but in the meantime

Ah that sounds rubbish - but surely Just stop bf then? Your little one will do fine without at this stage !!

I've never been in this situation but it sounds so tough. You've done amazingly well to breastfeed your son for this long, well done! However, a BF specialist said on ITV's This Morning that once babies have teeth and are eating solids they no longer 'need' that milk - it's just an added bonus to them.

I recommend you put yourself first, but ocmpromise with him. Can you drop one of this three daily feeds to begin with and see how well he tolerates it? If he responds well, perhaps you could drop a second feed.

Whatever you decide, it has to be what's best for you. You'll be breatfeeding your new baby in a few months - do you want a break before embarking on another BF journey?

You've done an amazing job this far and whatever you decide will be the right thing for you and your son. And congratulations on your new pregnancy!

If it’s as bad as that then maybe it’s time to stop? I understand putting as much effort in as you can into breastfeeding when babies are very young and it’s their only nutrition but really don’t get it when women make such martyrs of themsleves when they’re feeding baies who are nearly toddlers and are weaned on to food.

I was still breastfeeding DC1 when he was 14 months and I was pregnant. Just once a day then but it was when I decided to stop. Wasnt having the aversion as such but had a really strong feeling of wanting to stop so I could start again with DC2 and it would then be all hers. Not logical but it was how I felt so I stopped. Ended up stopping DC2 at 14 months as well so maybe that's just my natural time!

It's fine to stop if you want to.

I fully understand if people want to do extended breastfeeding & each to their own but you absolutely do not need to keep breastfeeding at 14 months. Or milk feeding in general. Once children are established on solids, milk should become supplementary to their diet.

I only breast fed for two months, then formula fed. By 12 months, my daughter was down to a cup of cows milk with breakfast in the morning & one at bedtime. She still has this at now 26 months actually, she enjoys her milk.

You’ve done fantastically well to feed your child for this long. I’m sure he has had a great deal of benefit from it. But if it’s time to stop for you, then stop. It’s perfectly ok. Wean your little one onto a milk alternative & he’ll be just fine!

I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant and still feeding my 2yr3 DD. I have aversions too and am also desperate to stop, however it's not always that easy when they are older, is it?!

My DD is obsessed with breastfeeding. She doesn't need the milk but it is her source of comfort and that is so important to her, that's why it's so hard to stop.

She was still feeding 20billion times a day despite being in nursery 4 days a week. She was still feeding through the night. I had to stop the night feeds as I was exhausted. We read some books about weaning and then one night I just stopped. She's now accepted that.

She does still feed in the day and asks a lot when we are home. I'm trying to keep her busy and am going out a lot so she doesn't ask (it's difficult when you're exhausted though and just want to sit on the sofa).
I am hoping my milk will dry up soon and she will lose interest and self wean. If she doesn't, I think I will have to wean her myself.

I hope sharing my experience is of help. Only you can decide what is best for your family, but as other PP have said you have done amazingly well to feed as long as you have, so don't feel guilty about weaning.
Good luck!

I'm pregnant and breastfeeding my 2 year old.
The pain and aversion is awful but the thought of not having my easiest parenting tool available is even worse!
Just want say you don't have to wean just because of the aversion. Make sure you drink plenty of water and take magnesium as it really does help.
It is totally normal to feel the way you do but also crap.
If you want to wean then do of course, your little one will be fine but I completely understand if (like me) you don't want to.
I have no idea how to get my son to sleep without it and I really need him to sleep at the moment!!

I breastfed through pregnancy and after. I’m glad I did because it helped my older with the transition and avoided jealousy and of course it is the biological norm for toddlers to still have breastmilk as a major source of nutrition (and comfort). That’s not to say you can’t just stop if you want because at this stage you’ve already done brilliantly for your child and they will be ok on just food, or an alternative milk.

Have you tried magnesium? This (can get as a spray) is often recommended to get rid of cramps that you often get in pregnancy and aversion. I still use it now that I’m feeding both children to stave off the aversion and I know a lot of people feeding to natural term use it regularly.

I felt like this for every feed since birth, I fed until 2 and literally had to grit my teeth to get through every feed, I'm jealous of people who enjoy the process! He may well self-wean as your milk might put him off anyway, but in the meantime I'd try distractions during feeding - books/tv etc.

I too am currently continuing to feed my 2 year old through a feeding aversion. I was hoping she would naturally wean when my supply dropped and the taste changed but no such luck. She only feeds once a day for her daytime nap and I'm too tired to battle to get her to sleep without that feed.

You may find if you continue, that your son self weans if your supply drops and milk changes shape anyway. I think that usually happens around the start of the second trimester. But either way don't feel guilt if you do stop feeding him, you have to think of yourself as well. Trying to feed through an aversion can be incredibly stressful at times which isn't good for anyone

Thanks everyone for all your support and tips. Am definitely going to try magnesium, I didn't know that could help so thanks very much. May try dropping his first morning feed too (usually around 4:30am) as that's by far the worst because I am also battling bad nausea at that time in the morning. I think part of why I feel so guilty thinking about weaning is because I was breastfed until I was 3 myself so feel like I should pass on the same benefits. But every situation is completely different and who know if my mum would have fed me through a pregnancy.

@hungergame, that sounds awful! I can't believe you went on for two years feeling like that, I just can't imagine. Well done to do for battling through.

No words of advice but I'm in the same situation with my 14 month old. Neither of us are are ready to wean yet but I am offering a beaker of milk in the day occasionally to give myself a break and my husband is doing more bed times so he isn't comfort feeding for ages because that makes me want to scream, especially at 2 in the morning. I'm definitely going to try the magnesium tip. Thank you for that. I have been assured that the aversion usually lessens after the first trimester.