What is wrong with me?

[lunaland]

I'm 13 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It was very much planned, wanted and talked about. I've been with my husband 10years and we have a wonderful relationship.
He's wanted kids for years and I knew I was ready to start trying and it all felt so right.

So why now do I feel unsure and downright terrified about the whole thing???
I was so ready and now I just feel anxious and terrified we've made the wrong decision.
We had our first scan this week and everything is going to plan, which I certainly haven't taken for granted, but I was expecting to feel something, happy maybe. But I didn't, i just felt nothing at that moment.

What is wrong with me?!

Same, OP. I found early pregnancy really tough.

I'd recommend a book called 'What No one tells you' by Alexandra Sacks, basically a guide to the psychology of pregnancy. And talk to your midwife about how you're feeling.

It is normal, not everybody gets excited about the pregnancy straight away and most of us worry about how our life is going to change. So hang in there, it will get better and it is no reflection on your future skills as a mother.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. What you are feeling is horrible to experience, but it is so so so common. So few people talk about it and everyone just expects you to be over the moon.

The reality is that your body is full of hormones (which doesn't help), you are entering into a new and completely foreign stage of your life, and you do not yet have anything tangible to connect yourself to the love that inevitably gets you through the change when it does happen.

I didn't connect with my baby in utero at all. I did all the things the books said: pregnancy yoga, lukewarm baths with bump, counting kicks when they start to happen, etc. Nothing! When DS was then born I would say it took me about three days (he was six weeks early via EMCS and straight to NICU, I couldn't hold him for about three days)... then the love came and MAN did it come, and it just keeps growing and growing.

Which is good because kids are hard work!

You will be absolutely fine but don't hate yourself for feeling the way you do. It's totally normal and will not last forever.

Nothing. You're making a big change to your life, your identity and your marriage. You'd be insane not to be suddenly anxious about it all.

The media like to sell this image of happy little mummies going on about how miraculous it all is, whilst lovingly rubbing their bellies and smiling. We're meant to feel related or totally as one with your entire body and baby or whatever claptrap.

When in reality no matter whatevee people say, especially for ftp you are shitting yourself.

Firstly pregnancy can be pants especially if you've had morning sickness, your probably tired, worried and not feeling yourself. Plus you have all these hormones flooding your system.

I certainly haven't always been skipping down the highstreet all the time. It's reality vs. expectation. What you feel is normal.

However, if as your pregnancy proceeds and you start to feel really unhappy our depressed, speak to your midwife about it. But what you describe at the moment is natural.

Thank you so much. Just reading these has made me feel so so much better. I really appreciate all of your replies xx

There is not a single thing wrong with you. Just try to relax and trudge along the best you can. These feelings will pass!