Are we crazy?

[Kenaa]

Our baby girl is 4 months old and we want to try for another. Are we completely mad?

Yes - if you mean straightaway. No if you mean at some future point in time.

I've always liked the thought of 2 under 2. But figuring out exactly what age gap is proving difficult

@Kenaa wait till shes 1 OR at least 9 months! Let your body recover before doing it again.

Yes very crazy. Wait until they are on the move, at 4 months it's easy , once mobile you will not be wishing for 2 under 2

Enjoy your baby & try for another when she is 1+ a bit of age gap is better
u dont want to get pregnant now & struggle with a baby as u never know what problems pregnancy can bring.

I'd say give it time for now.

Babies develop quite quickly. Crawling, pulling self up, teething, weaning- all seems to roll into one and it is time consuming and you need the patience of a saint 😂😂

Love mine to death but couldn't manage another just yet. This one is into everything 😂

I do get broody looking at pictures of mine when she was really tiny then I look at her and shes pulling everything out and trying to injure herself on every surface available 😂

See how you feel OP. Every person is different. Only youd know how youd cope and what support you'd have!

I think your bonkers My daughter is 2 and only in the last few months have I ever felt broody for another!

Personally, I’d enjoy the baby you have without adding in morning sickness, exhaustion, heavy pregnancy & then a crazy one year old who is still solely dependant on you plus a baby. There is no way I could have had a new born with a newly walking one year old coming close to injuring herself every second of the day! My daughter was still a baby then, we were still learning about new foods, discovering the world, starting to learn to talk, having many tantrums (yes they start at about 10 months!).. it was a hard yet magical period of her little life, I wouldn’t have wanted to share my attention at the point.

There’s no rush, wait until she’s maybe a year so you’ve had a lovely period of time with them one on one!

I had two under two, we started trying for number two when number one was 6 months only but it took a while and I got pregnant just as he turned one. There are 20 months between them and I wouldn't change a thing, I'm actually glad they aren't closer in age but wouldn't have wanted them further apart. They are 2 and just turned 4 now and the best of friends.

I'm now pregnant with #3 and will (all being well) have three under 5. People think I'm bonkers but I wanted them close together!

It’s completely personal choice of course. But I’m gonna hazard a guess that you had a decent pregnancy and you 4 month old is an easy baby who perhaps sleeps fairly decently. My DS turned 4 last week and I’m 8 weeks pg with my second- couldn’t consider it before now because 1. I threw up at least 5 times a day from weeks 6-23 with him and knew I couldn’t do that and look after a younger child 2. He didn’t sleep for more than 45 minutes day OR night until he was 12 months old. It was freaking exhausting and again I couldn’t think of how I’d look after a younger child of a second was so crap at sleeping! 3. I was filled with post natal anxiety for a good 12 months and couldn’t imagine how I could ever share my attention/ love.

This pregnancy so far is a million times worst than last even though I thought it couldn’t get any worse. I’m on meds but feel sick from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep and I’m being vile to everyone unfortunately at times my DS included! I can’t cook, we’re eating crap, the house is a shit tip despite dh being a superstar and I couldn’t imagine having a tiny baby to look after whisky living this way!

Sorry that sounds so negative doesn’t it. Like I say personal choice entirely but bit of a reality check is sometimes useful. I have a close friend who has a 18 month gap between hers and she did once admit to me that she wished she’d waited and I have watched her struggle so much. Whereas I have another friend with a similar gap who is older and felt it was their last chance to have a second and loves it.

Lovely that you can feel like that at 4 months, I'd wait and see if theres a sleep regression first at 4 months. 2 children at 2 and under is hard. I had 27 months between mine and that took a while to settle even with that age gap.
People have smaller gaps...

5 months between my pregnancies. Neither were planned. Good for loads of things but it's tough until everyone can eat independently.

I am currently 21 weeks with DS2 and DS1 is only just 16 months and believe me it is hard work. Being exhausted and having every pregnancy symptom then running after a toddler is tiring. Let your body recover fully. I still don't feel as though my body was ready x

I had two under two. Number one was 16 months when number 2 arrived. It was HARD, but number 2 is 10 months now and it is getting easier. I do feel a big bad tho that my first one didn’t get much time as the baby. I’d wait till the first one is over one year

I fell pregnant when my now 15 month old was 8 months. It was a very hard pregnancy, I completely feel like months 9-12 was wasted by morning sickness, bleeding, non stop hospital stays and to top it off my baby boy was born at 21 weeks on my dd first birthday! So her birthday was ruined and the time before that. And I ended up in hospital for an extra 2 weeks as I nearly died

Now my story is extreme and I never wanted 2 under 2, it was a surprise, and it was never meant to be anyway :( Anyway my point is, you never know what's going to happen, my first pregnancy was textbook perfect. But the next well... even if I didn't end up giving birth prematurely I was told at 33 weeks I would be admitted into hospital for a month then c section.
As I look down at my 15 month dd sick with a cough my heart breaks if I wasn't able to be here with her. Everything happens for a reason.

As long as you are prepared for every possible outcome and situation, then your decision is decision and you wouldn't be crazy, lots of moms have two under 1, two under two, and love it and once the early years are done, it's meant to be amazing.

But yeah 4 months, babies are easy, it's toddlers that will make you rethink your decision haha

Best of luck in whatever decision you make xxx

I've got an 18month age gap and I'm due another in January they'll be 3, nearly 5 and a newborn all together I'm finding it hard lately as they are so naughty at the moment if I could go back now I'm not sure I'd do anything different however it is really hard, it's fine when there's a routine with school etc and nursery, but right now in half term my god it's hard

People do it, although I’m not sure it’s often planned. So I’m going to say yes, you’re a little bit mad. But there’s crazier things you could do.

Just consider how many nappies you’ll be changing - that’s put me off having another until DS is potty trained at least.

@anitagreen you are the same as us! When this baby arrives in December I will have a newborn, a 2.5 year old and a 4 year old.

All mine were planned and I wouldn't change any of it, I'm actually quite surprised by s the negative comments. Yes, being pregnant with a young child, or two, can be tiring but I have found it fine overall. And yes, it's hard when the newborn comes along. But you get into a rhythm and it all works out.

There are only 16 months between me and my brother so maybe this is why I'm not phased by small gaps.

@mistermagpie how weird my brother and me are only 16months apart too and we're actually close now we hated each other growing up ! And I wouldn't change mine just would like them to behave better lol, what day are you due? X

@mistermagpie and that's the thing too I've struggled with the tiredness but it's not been so bad just yet I'm only 17+3 now but I know it'll all slot into place and be okay I hope

Enjoy your baby now !!! It all goes very quickly and babies are easy ....kids are hard work !

I felt like this when DD was young and desperately wanted another quickly but I was a combination of hormones and a very good baby and I did snap out of it very quickly.

I'd say give yourself some more time to enjoy your baby unless of course there is a pressing reason to start trying again soon ie age, fertility issues