Tips for a husband that just isnt getting it!

[LAH74]

Hi all, I'm about 20 weeks at the moment and just wondered if anyone had any tips about how to get your husband to understand what pregnancy is like. I was very lucky and didn't suffer from much morning sickness but until about 14 weeks was ridiculously tired every day, and I still get exhausted when I come home from work quite often. Where I work is close to a 3 hr round journey every day while he only works 20 mins away max, so that adds to the exhaustion I'm sure! But he keeps on calling me lazy when I'm tired and saying I'm boring if I don't want to do anything in the evenings when I have work the next day. I think because I'm not huge yet he just doesn't understand how I can be so tired! Any tips would be very welcome!

A le creuset sausepan round the back of the head. God I'm sick of these selfish men.

Are you feeling kicks yet?
Just wake him up every two hours at night by repeatedly kicking him in the stomach.
Each time insist he gets up and goes to the toilet.
That alone will soon shut him up.

I have one who is exactly the same. I'm 29 weeks with diabetes and anaemia !! Extremely tired yet I am doing everything. He even offered to bring me a chair so I could sit down to cook tea !! I said wrong answer, you cook tea and I will go and sit down !!
I think some men just don't understand and have maybe been too well looked after !! Xx

Get a new husband. Tell him to read up on pregnancy and get some understanding.

Or as madcatlady said... Use a saucepan.

That kind of behaviour from men should not be the norm or even acceptable.

This is so tricky. Men do often struggle with the adjustment to lifestyle that babies bring, some of them never get it. Pregnancy is really tough, he needs to step up and stop blaming you for not being able to carry on unaffected. Is there a friend who has had a baby in the last couple of years that you can call on for help with this? I fear resentment will set in on both sides if he continues with his current mindset. What is attractive in a partner pre-children can soon become extremely difficult to cope with when kids come aling. He needs to grasp the reality if the situation. You need him to adapt, I hope he can. Good luck

That sounds pretty harsh to be called lazy. My husband is also incapable of understanding how I’m feeling. I don’t think he even tries to understand. I’m on my second baby now and I don’t even complain to him anymore as he just doesn’t get it and never will. Sorry but it’s very hard to change someone. I think some men just find it hard to empathise. I think I’ve just accepted it at this stage. Would love to know if you find a way to change him!!!

And just to add my husband is very good to me in so many other ways and I hope yours is too. He’s a great daddy and there was certainly no resentment once baby came along. He understands very well how much I love my boy and when our lives changed after baby arrived he was perfectly happy to go along with my wishes. Just so you’re not panicking about the future. It’s not necessarily a sign of things to come once baby arrives!!!

If you can, try and take him to appointments. I think it doesnt hit home for ages as they cant see or feel anything.

I agree with the saucepan option? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Seriously though - not much advice. DH has been wonderful.
I would opt for an adult conversation, sit him down and explain to him. We’re a science family so understanding the mechanics of why I’m so tired and sick had DH understanding while I was still trying to push myself!
Hope he sorts his attitude out soon OP.

Maybe show him that Duke University study that came out recently about how the two groups of people that operate at the limits of human endurance are extreme athletes and pregnant women!

www.cnn.com/2019/06/06/health/pregnant-women-peak-endurance-trnd/index.html

As a single pregnant woman I'm afraid I don't have much other advice, honestly this is why I'm super happy to be single, so many partners seem to be a hindrance rather than a help. I've got loads of supportive friends and family and if I want to just come home from work and lie on the sofa in my PJs eating cake and to help with the washing up then I can (and I do, that's pretty much all I can manage!)

Are you sure you want him around?

*to hell with the washing up, not help :)

I have the BabyCentre app on my phone which tracks your pregnancy, each month there is a dads about what mum might be experiencing that month. I text the link to my husband each time and I think it’s really helped!

Dads article

Maybe get a quick read of this article help??

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/health-48527798

It's about how pregnant women are at the edge of human endurance for the duration of their pregnancy...

Should teach me to read the whole thread!!!

@motherofcats81 has me beat!

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but good luck when you have a newborn. He sounds entitled and selfish already. Is he going to expect you to do all the night feeds? Keep the house spotless? Make his dinner every night because you’re ‘not working’?

Second the le creuset round the head. It’s your best hope.